


Five Times Derek Growled At Stiles And One Time He Explained

by Moonbeam (luvsbitca)



Series: Growling 'Verse [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-22
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2017-10-26 10:32:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 45,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/282034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvsbitca/pseuds/Moonbeam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six events in Derek and Stiles' life where Stiles does something to make Derek growl at him and they choke those around them with all of the UST. Then finally Derek explains to Stiles why he's been acting like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. SATs

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer -** So very, very not mine even if I wish desperately it was. Though if it was I would spend even less on t-shirt for Derek than they already do. That and all the Derek shoving Stiles against a wall would take a decidedly different turn.
> 
> I have edited this about twenty times but I still think the tenses are wrong. I just don't know anymore. If someone notices anything glaring please let me know but flames will just result in ignoring you. I should keep it for a week and then re-edit it but I just want it out there in the world, I need some positives today.

**Five Times Derek Growled At Stiles And One Time He Explained**

by Moonbeam

 

**01 - SATs**

Stiles had always been silly smart but he had never been able to focus. On the day he took his SATs he swallowed a handful of Adderall, was laser focussed for three hours then got home and passed out for sixteen. His dad hadn’t noticed; he’d been at work, got home later and thought his son was simply asleep. 

Derek called him the next morning, demanded his presence at his half-rebuilt house and hung up. Stiles had been an honorary part of the pack for over a year and had been helping Derek rebuild the house since he had become the alpha; when he decided that he had roots here now so he needed to fix his house. 

Getting a call demanding help was not unusual but generally speaking there was some warning and Scott would have called him to let him know what was coming. For some reason Stiles was always the last person called – Lydia, who refused to do any heavy lifting and just tried to tell others what to do, was called before him. At least Stiles was helpful, he hoped. 

Stiles groaned, even after all that sleep he still felt a little groggy and could have probably used another couple hours sleep to get the rest of the medication out of his system. He knew though that if he wasn’t at Derek’s place within the hour Derek would make him do something unpleasant. His threats of bodily torture were no longer believable – he had never followed through even for all the threats but the older man was inventive when it came to punishments. 

Stiles dragged himself from bed, stumbled into the shower under tepid water with his hand wrapped around his cock getting some of the need out of his body before he had to spend the rest of the day seeing Derek building, flexing and sweating shirtless. This orgasm wouldn’t prevent him from spending the entire day semi-hard but it would save him from spending the whole day so fucking horny he would have to run home when he went to collect lunches to jerk off quickly so he could go back again. I had only taken him two days working on the house for Stiles to work out this method of getting through the day. 

Scott always smirked at him when he arrived knowing why his friend smelled of release, Jackson said nothing, hopefully assuming he was just a teenager who was permanently horny. Lydia only made fun of him once before Derek growled out the order that sex lives were not to be discussed; they all needed some privacy. Every time Stiles arrived he was met with a growl from Derek and he still expected the growl to turn into something more when the alpha finally worked out who Stiles was thinking about when he came all over himself in the shower.

It took Stiles twenty-five minutes to drive to Derek’s house, ten minutes to stop in and get the doughnuts which were his responsibility in the morning so Stiles arrived with ten minutes to spare but saw no other cars in front of the house. 

Stiles got out of the jeep and walked inside, the downstairs of the house was complete, the second storey still basically a skeleton but soon they would be able to start adding walls and then the roof. Lydia had already declared herself decorator but Stiles had a feeling she would not be getting her way with the inside; Derek obviously had very precise taste.

Stiles had just put the doughnuts down when he was pushed against the wall and Derek invaded his space to sniff at him, along his neck, behind his ear. Stiles moved his head, baring his neck knowing what the action meant, could mean if only he was being manhandled for another reason. Stiles wished desperately that Derek was doing it for that reason and he’d willingly submit, he’d repeat the action willingly, repeatedly, if Derek ever asked. 

“If you ever do that again, Stiles, I will string you up and beat you.” Derek growled into his neck.

Stiles tried not to find the idea of being tied up and spanked so alluring but he was a kinky bastard and anything Derek could want to do to him he would try. At least once.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t think you’d ever find out. I have to do it. But I promise to think about something else next time.” Stiles stuttered trying to ignore the blood flowing down.

“You do not have to do it, Stiles, it’s dangerous.”

“It was only dangerous if you found out. Who told you? Scott?” Stiles started mentally cursing his best friend for ratting him out. 

“Scott let you do it? How the hell could he not stop you?”

“He couldn’t stop me, he said it was a bad idea but I cannot believe he told you.”

“Who knows what could happen to you if you do it that much.”

“I only do it a couple times a day, Okay so it’s every day and the days I’m here more but I am still technically a teenager so it’s probably fairly normal.”

“Putting something like that in your body is not normal, Stiles.” Derek accompanied this growl with his death glare. 

“What? Putting what I…so? Loads of people do it?”

“A handful is too much, Stiles.”

“Not a handful just a couple fingers.” Stiles could feel the heated flush sweeping over his skin. 

“What?” Derek scrunched his eyebrows and glared.

“What? Lots of people do it.”

“What the hell? Are you drinking as well as overdosing on that fucking shit, Stiles?”

“What?” Stiles face scrunched up in confusion.

“How the hell could you take that much Adderall? You overdosed, Stiles.” Derek’s voice just dropped into a true growl, low, dangerous and animalistic. Stiles could feel it right down to his cock. 

Stiles took a moment to think about what was said. Derek was not talking about the fact Stiles jacked off routinely to thoughts of the alpha wolf, that the black haired man was the main source of fantasy…that was a lie; he was all Stiles thought about when he had a hand wrapped around his cock or fingers inside himself wishing it was Derek. Stiles shook himself, Derek was talking about the Adderall, what about the drug?

“Are you talking about yesterday, with the SATs? Because that was totally under control.”

“How is that under control?”

“Just enough to ensure focus for the length of the test. I think I aced it too.”

“By seriously overdosing on drugs?”

“Not seriously, and it’s not like it's fucking crack or something, just some Adderall.”

“Which is basically speed, Stiles.”

“I had to do well, Derek. I cannot concentrate for three hours intensely like that and I had to do well for my dad, for me. I wanted to make him proud, dude.”

Derek scrubbed his hand over his face. “Stiles, you just can’t do that it’s dangerous.”

“I-“

“I forbid you from abusing the Adderall again like that, Stiles, take it only as directed. Do you understand?”

“You cannot order me around when I am not even a fucking member of the pack, Derek. Not really.”

Derek slapped Stiles upside the back of the head. “Are you honestly that stupid?”

“What?”

“You are part of the pack, Stiles. You are annoying but you are a member of this pack, you don’t want to be a werewolf but that doesn’t change the fact you are still a member.”

“Really?” Stiles asked with surprise. 

“Yes, now if I find out you have abused again I will rip your throat out. Understood?”

“Okay, Derek.” Stiles felt his chest swell with happiness. “Is anyone else coming?” Stiles asked as Derek opened the doughnut box.

“No, why?”

“Thought we were working on the house, thank God we aren’t. I am tired still. Suddenly exhausted.”

“Mattress is still in the … can’t remember what Lydia calls it. Was the play room.”

“You rock so hard you are almost sedimentary, Derek.” Stiles grinned at him and bounded away to collapse on the mattress Derek kept in case any of the pack needed to crash; Stiles could not work out how it always smelt like Derek never any of the other wolves. He didn’t care; he wallowed in the smell as he fell asleep. 

Derek inhaled a couple doughnuts. He was annoyed at Stiles, but he was not furious like he had been last night when he had popped in to see Stiles and realised that the boy reeked of the drug and was in an unnatural sleep. He had perched on the windowsill for hours to make sure he was okay. Halfway through the third doughnut the conversation caught up with him.

“What the hell did Stiles think I was talking about?” Derek asked the empty room. 

///

**TBC...  
**


	2. Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This take place a while after the first part, like a couple months.

****

Five Times Derek Growled At Stiles And One Time He Explained  
by Moonbeam

**02 – Fight**

“Run!” Derek growled at Stiles, his hand on Stiles’ lower back pushing him towards the house.

“What? What’s wrong?” Stiles was running with his face craned around and his eyes on Derek who was transforming as he pushed Stiles. 

Stiles tripped and fell, Derek growled gripped his shoulder, claws breaking the skin, and lifted him so he could push the human towards the house again. 

“Lock yourself downstairs and do not come out for any reason, Stiles. Go.”

“But...”

“Go!” It was the first order Derek had ever given that Stiles truly felt compelled to follow. Though that could also have something to do with the unfamiliar howl he could hear in the distance.

Stiles ran inside and down to the werewolf proof room Derek had shown him in the basement; safe from anything that could happen. 

/\/\/\

Derek had sent everyone home after another day of painting the downstairs rooms but had asked Stiles to stay. He had explained there were some things that the younger man needed to know. He had lead Stiles downstairs into the basement. Before any of the wolves, or Stiles, were invited out to help the basement had been completed but they had never come down, thinking there was nothing there. The room at the back of the basement looked uninteresting. Stiles was wrong. 

Derek had growled at Stiles’ running commentary about being taken down to the basement to the killing floor, and tied up down there, asked if Derek needed help moving the body, if this was where the alpha was growing the pot to fund the whole rebuild. Stiles did not stop talking until Derek had opened the boring wooden door cutting the basement in half and stood aside. Stiles noticed that the front and back of the door looked like wood but the centre was definitely metal, probably solid.

“Oh God, you have a panic room?” Stiles had walked in. 

“It’s werewolf proof, we can lock any of us up in here. Or you.”

“Me?” Stiles turned around from looking at the little bed in the corner, little fridge and sink in the other, the shower and toilet behind another door. It was all sturdy, all bolted down, all designed to put up a bit of a fight against a werewolf.

“If one of us goes rabid, if something happens you come down here and lock yourself in, there is a satellite phone in the metal box up there.” Derek pointed at the roof to the right of the door. “There is enough food to get you through for a while and the walls are reinforced. Something happens do not do something stupid, get yourself down here and lock yourself in tight so the rest of us can handle it.”

“Derek, I am not useless. I can help.”

“I know you're not useless. But you are also human and if it comes down to it get yourself in here.”

“Fine.” Stiles had walked out then, annoyed at always being the weak, useless member of the pack, hell not even a proper member of the pack – the only non-werewolf. Even though he didn’t want to be turned he still felt like he was less because he was not one. Derek had built a room because he was so useless in a fight he needed to be protected. 

Stiles was so mad he ignored Derek’s voice calling to him as he walked upstairs and drove away still seething.

/\/\/\

Stiles could hear snarling, howling and the occasional growl from within the panic room. The floor shook as the two wolves outside tried to kill each other. The whole thing made no sense. Since Derek had taken over they had seen only one other werewolf, an old friend of Derek’s dad come to check out the pack. 

Derek had said it was an observation of power, to see if the pack was strong and cohesive. Scott had been confused but Stiles got it. If the pack wasn’t strong, wasn’t a team, then another pack could come in and take them over. Stiles hadn’t been worried about any of it, he just shrugged and said Derek was strong enough to show he was the man and asked if there were any particular things that they should or should not do. Derek had told him that Stiles was not allowed to be there, that he had to stay away from the house for a week before the man arrived and was not to step foot in the woods for the entire visit. It was the second time in a week that Derek had made Stiles feel useless; he couldn’t even be around to be seen as part of the pack. Stiles had just nodded and left them to the conversation about the customs of another pack leader visiting. He made them all lunch, tried not to be offended, tried to justify it all to himself, he was not a werewolf, not a werewolf member of the pack so he had no place there. It was really only Derek’s acceptance that allowed him to be a part of everything, part of the pack. He needed to stop assuming that he was in any way a part of the deeper bond that the werewolves shared. 

The visit came and went, Stiles bored out of his brain without the other wolves and the pack to keep him busy. He cleaned the house three times and then his dad hid the vacuum cleaner. He went running, a lot, but he wasn’t allowed near the woods and that was his favourite place to run. He was bored out of his hyperactive mind. As soon as the visit was over Stiles appeared at Derek’s house with three bags worth of groceries and set about cooking a feast for his pack. He might not get to meet other people but he knew he was the only member of the pack with any culinary skills. He’d just have to keep reminding them all why they kept him around. Being useful like this was familiar, was comfortable and Stiles didn’t think he could expect it to be anything else anymore, expecting just ended with him disappointed. 

Stiles had already unpacked everything and was crushing the garlic when he felt Derek behind him.

“Hey, thought I’d cook. I know you were having a meeting about the whole visit thing, Scott told me. Hope it’s okay.” Stiles kept himself in check not wanting to ramble. Not wanting to annoy Derek.

“Yeah, I dropped by last night to tell you about it. Your dad answered, told me he’d tell you.”

“I haven’t seen him. He probably wrote it down somewhere. Why didn’t you call my mobile?”

“I did, Scott answered, said he’d tell you.” Derek said grabbing a carrot from the fridge.

Stiles smiled. “I’m making lasagne.”

“Excellent. Need help?”

“You don’t need to, I can do this.”

“I want to; you’ve cooking for us so we should help.” Derek said managing to catch Stiles’ eye. 

“Okay, cut the onions?” Stiles hated cutting onions, they always made him cry.

Derek and Stiles worked together in the kitchen, the rest of the pack slowly arriving and crowding into the kitchen to try and steal food. Stiles slapped them out of the way and Derek growled making them stop in their tracks and retreat to the table to watch and chat. 

“God, I missed you.” Lydia said kissing his cheek when she joined them.

Derek made a confirming noise next him and Stiles relaxed even though he had not realised he was tense. 

“When that pompous idiot was here we had to eat everything raw. Disgusting.” Lydia said, snagging some carrot pieces from the salad before Derek growled at her to sit down and keep her hands to herself. 

“It’s a wolf thing.” Derek explained placing the garlic bread next to Stiles so he could put it in the oven when the lasagne was about ready to be served.

“It’s not a this wolf thing.” Lydia’s replied as she walked from the room now that everything was in the oven. “Scott, are you inviting Allison to dinner?”

“We have wolf business to discuss, make sure she gives us at least forty-five minutes. That okay with you, Stiles?”

“Huh? What?”

“That too much time for the lasagne?” Derek asked again. 

“No, almost perfect.”

“Good, call and then get your arse in there, Scott. We have a lot to fill Stiles in on.” Stiles trailed behind Derek grinning as the other three wolves just rolled their eyes and followed them in.

/\/\/\

“Stiles?” Derek’s voice made it through the wall.

“Derek? Are you okay?”

“Fine, he’s gone you can come out when you are ready.”

Stiles automatically opened the door and looked at Derek, covered in blood. Shit. Stiles moved forward, grabbed the wolf and dragged him back inside and then pushed him onto the bed.

“What if the other wolf had over powered me, maybe I should install a camera or something so you can be sure.” Derek said in a gruff voice as Stiles walked towards the tiny bathroom.

“You’d never let someone convince you to hurt one of us.” Stiles popped his head back out and grinned at Derek who was stunned at the absolute faith Stiles put in him. 

Stiles pulled out the first aid kit, cut the rest of Derek’s shirt off and pulled it from the wounds. Claw marks in his shoulder, teeth marks down his arm, his wrist looked broken, and there was a great gash running through the tattoo on his back. Stiles started to clean them. Antiseptic first. He knew Derek would heal, knew the werewolf could heal without being cleaned up first but Stiles could do this; he might not be able to fight, not really, but he could do this. 

“I get it now.”

“What?” Derek jerked like he was woken up.

“I get why you built it. I was pissed before but I know I am too weak. I know I cannot defend myself against a werewolf, not like you guys. I get that you were trying to protect me. Thank you.” Stiles couldn’t look Derek in the eye when he said it but he appreciated all that Derek had done for him here. 

“I didn’t build it just to protect you.”

“Huh?” The wound down Derek’s back made Stiles want to hug the alpha, wrap him up tight and comfort him which was just too sappy for words so he focussed on cleaning it instead. 

“You survived against my uncle, repeatedly, because you are smart and strong. I know whatever comes you will be there too; fighting with the rest of us. If the hunters decide to come at us again you will be there alongside us.”

“Then why?” Stiles wiped dirt out of the wounds on Derek’s arm but looked up questioningly for a moment.

“You didn’t hear me. You can lock us up in here too. You are the smartest member of the pack, the most capable. Lydia is smart but you kept Scott alive and away from a rabid alpha for a long time. If something goes down I trust you to make the right choices, even if it was me you had to lock up. That’s why I only told you.”

“Shit.” Stiles sat down next to Derek heavily. Derek trusted Stiles to do what was right for the pack, trusted him enough to have something to use against him, their alpha, which was fucking hard core. It took Stiles a few minutes to comprehend it all.

“I will do what I can to protect everyone.” Stiles looked Derek in the eye when he made the promise.

“I know.” This time it was Stiles who was shocked at the level of trust placed in him but he shook himself and got back to patching Derek up. He cleaned his back, covered the worst of it to keep it clean and then had to cut off Derek’s pants because they were shredded to shit as well. He was professional as he cleaned and covered the long gouges down his left thigh and the bite marks all over his calves. When he was done though he could not help running his eyes over Derek, pretending that he was just checking for injuries and checking his work. He couldn’t lie to himself though, he was just cataloguing everything for later when he was alone like the insane pervert that he was. 

When Stiles eyes make it to Derek’s face he found it tilted, scenting the air like normal. ‘Oh God please don’t notice how horny I am’ was all that ran through Stiles’ head.

Derek’s hand reached out quickly and gripped Stiles’ shirt, pulling at the neckline until it ripped. Stiles’ brain short circuited and his entire body spasmed at the possibility of what that could mean.

“You’re hurt.” Derek growled out and Stiles followed the alpha’s eyes to his shoulder where there was a bleeding claw shaped wound. Now he could see it the pain was finally registering and he knew without looking that there were four more on the back of his shoulder and a matching set on his other shoulder. 

“I didn’t notice, I’ll just clean it.” Stiles started to pull away but Derek held him in place.

“No!” Derek’s growl was even more feral this time. He swapped spots with Stiles before Stiles realised what was going on and the electric blue eyed alpha was suddenly looming over him.

Derek picked up the bottle of antiseptic and swiped gently at the wounds. When Stiles’ hissed at the sting Derek growled low and quiet in response; annoyed at himself. After each wound had been carefully cleaned and a large band-aid had been placed over each one Derek rubbed his face and he looked so broken when Stiles caught his eyes that the human reached out to wrap a hand around Derek’s arm. Derek flinched away.

“No. This is why. I am dangerous. I hurt you.” Derek growled with a scowl on his face.

“Yeah, because I am clumsy and there was a werewolf coming to put the smack down on you. Why was there a werewolf here to try and kick your arse?”

“I don’t know. You need to leave.”

“What? Hell no. I came for a ‘Die Hard’ marathon and I demand to be satisfied.” Stiles flushed at the double entendre. 

“You shouldn’t be here, Stiles; I am dangerous.”

“No, you were protecting me and it will heal. No problem. Come on, you need new clothes and I need British sounding German super villains and popcorn.” 

Stiles turned and headed for the stairs grabbing the ruined clothes and balling them up around the bloody wipes and rubbish to be thrown away outside while he collected the popcorn machine from his car.

Derek growled behind him and when Stiles came back with the popcorn machine he found the door locked.

“Go away, Stiles.” Derek’s voice carried through the door.

“Don’t be stupid, Derek. I am safer with you than anywhere.” Stiles pulled his keys from his pocket, fit his copy of Derek’s in the lock and let himself in while Derek swore.

Derek slinked upstairs sulking. He needed to remember, always remember, that he hurt everything he cared about and Stiles was human. He was also a stubborn, annoying brat who would never allow himself to be pushed out or walk away so Derek was going to have to just keep making sure nothing, especially not himself, hurt Stiles ever again.

**TBC...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so we are now up to 12000+ words and it has become a 6+1 instead of 5+1 and I now need to write the part where Derek confronts Stiles about the misunderstanding from last chapter which I had not intended to write but want to now. Plus this seems to be becoming something of a verse since I got an idea for a story that comes later. Or I could focus on ACTUALLY finishing this. I have written myself into a corner in the fourth part, not in a bad way just in a it is going to take a LONG chapter to write myself out of the corner. I wish I could be a little less invested in this story. Still have reports to write.


	3. University

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reports are over, reports are over. Reports are over, reports are over. Yes I am doing a stupid dance to accompany this. I am EXHAUSTED and just want to go to sleep but instead I give you this. I am only posting it two of the like eight places I do tonight though (I am such a slut when it comes to sharing my fic)  
> What started as a 5+1 fic might have morphed into an 8+1 fic *THUD* Haven’t decided yet it might just be 5+1 and ficlets. I am bugging lowlifetheory about it as we speak.

**03 – University**

At the start of senior year Stiles had looked at universities in California, close enough to come home to his dad but far enough away to ensure at least a little autonomy. He looked at the courses offered knowing he needed to pick things that would interest him or he’d be screwed. He had done amazingly on the SATs, though when he bragged about it Derek had growled long, low and loud. Still obviously a tender subject even though Stiles had been very careful ever since to take the medication with care. Stiles had his heart set on Berkeley, three hour drive offering journalism and folklore – since his life was werewolves and they captivated him then integrating it in the studies would make it easier to focus. Plus, Stiles knew himself well enough to know that he loved unravelling things. He would need to go and see if they ended up being for him but it was a place to start. He would only be able to go if he could get a scholarship, his grades were there but who knew. His teachers probably didn’t have great things to say about him. So he had a list of backups. While he was in the zone he had written his admissions letters and saved them. The greatest trick in his fight against his own brain was to do things the second he was focussed on them and never, ever leave things until later.

Months passed and the actual process of writing and sending applications began so he pulled them out, checked them and sent them all off. 

Derek had decided to train him, teach him how to defend himself since the house was finally finished, mostly Lydia decoration free, and training was changing among the werewolves so all that was left was to really get into trying to train the untrainable. As soon as the pack formed Derek instigated training sessions and Stiles was included. For about two weeks. He was included only until it was made obvious that he was dangerous. Stiles had always been a little clumsy; he could hurt himself and fall over when standing still and putting Derek in the mix made him so nervous he was constantly having trouble controlling his limbs. 

So, Stiles was put in a more organisational role, he became the person who fed and watered everyone, did the research, just generally came up with new ways to test the wolves, sat off to the side and kept up a running commentary of the fights, awarded points and then declared grand champion. Derek was always the grand champion; which was probably why he only growled a little when Stiles started with his running commentary, putting on his best impersonation of whoever commentated the football games his dad watched. He thoroughly enjoyed the competition even if it started in his head. Scott was the first to become invested and then the whiteboard had appeared in the basement where Stiles started keeping track of all the different games, activities and exercises that they routinely competed on.

Stiles had come into his own when it came to weapons training though. Derek had looked terrified, hell, everyone but Scott had looked terrified when Stiles had walked over, picked up the rifle and aimed. Derek had actually smiled, a full proper smile when he saw the way Stiles hit every target before shooting the apple core out of Jackson’s hand. 

“Take that bitches!” Stiles proclaimed as he blew on the barrel. Scott had fallen over laughing at the look on the other three werewolves’ faces.

Really it was stupid of them to be so surprised; his dad was a cop, he had been taught to respect guns and then when old enough how to clean, shot and look after them. Scott was an okay shot but Stiles beat every one of the werewolves with any firearm and as it turned out he was pretty good with other projectile weapons too. Alison was not the only one who knew how to use a crossbow now. 

In the two years since Derek had become alpha the four wolves had become a strong, well trained and cohesive team. They were a family but apparently the fact Stiles was useless in a fight now needed to be solved. As a result, three nights a week Stiles had to go to Derek’s house and train with the werewolf, yet another situation where Stiles was constantly reminded he had fallen in desperate lust with the alpha and wanted him so badly he was constantly aroused. Just what he needed really.

Stiles was never late until the night he had come home for a quick shower and jerk before going and meeting Derek to find his dad at home waiting for him; he shouldn’t be at home it was a night shift day.

“Dad?” Stiles was worried.

“Sit down, Stiles.”

“What’s wrong, Dad?” Stiles said as he rushed over.

“I got the mail today, came home to pick up my dinner which I forgot, and we got some interesting stuff in the mail.”

“I did not order porn…or sex toys. It must be a mistake.”

The sheriff stared at his son slack jawed not sure how to respond to that. “Good?”

Stiles looked down at the coffee table. “Oh God, these are college letters aren’t they?”

“Yes, sit down.”

Stiles slumped down onto the seat. “Fuck.”

“Language…but yeah fuck.”

“Okay, we’ll open one each.” Stiles reached for two of the envelopes, handing one to his dad and as one they opened them.

“You’re in the California State University.”

“Good, we can afford that one.”

“Stiles!” his dad admonished.

“What? It’s true and it is a factor. If you think I am going to go somewhere we cannot afford you are insane.” Stiles didn’t want to look at his dad, he didn’t mind making sacrifices but he didn’t want his dad to be hurt by the fact he might have to. 

“What does yours say?”

“I got into University of Southern California.”

“Did you apply anywhere but California.”

“No, you are here dad; who else is going to come and ensure you eat well occasionally?”

His dad leaned over wrapped an arm around him and muttered against his hair. “I love you, Stiles.” They both ignored the moment after Stiles returned the phrase, neither comfortable with affection since Stiles’ mum had passed.

“You could have gone farther.” Sheriff Stilinski said though he was so pleased that Stiles didn’t want to run away. 

“I didn’t want to, Dad. I don’t want to go away away just a little away. If there was an option in town I probably would have taken it.” Stiles didn’t add that while his dad was a huge part of that sentiment the werewolf pack in his life made up the rest of it. “Now, next envelopes.”

By some weird unspoken decision they did not open Berkeley until last, his father handing Stiles the envelope. Stiles breathed like Derek had taught him, attempting to get the butterflies in his stomach to calm before ripping the envelope open and shoving the paper at his dad to read.

“You got in.”

“Oh, thank fuck.” Stiles said collapsing back against his father’s shoulder.

“Language.” They both said together.

“I am proud of you, Stiles, I would have been proud of you regardless but I am so proud of you for getting here, I know how hard it has been sometimes. We should celebrate.”

“You have to work.” Stiles said hopeful that they could actually go. 

“Called Jimmy in when I saw the letters either we were celebrating or eating misery pizza. Regardless, it was going to be the two of us.”

“Emilio’s?”

“Course. I’ll call, you go have a shower. You reek.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Stiles yelled as he ran up the stairs and straight into the bathroom.

Ten minutes later smelling like soap instead of sweat and teenage boy Stiles walked into his room and smacked into Derek’s body. His body reacted instantaneously to being pressed against Derek and he tried step to the side but Derek grabbed his upper arms and just looked at him for a minute.

“What?” Stiles asked when Derek released him. He was able to step away and move over to the dresser quickly turning his hips into the wood. Derek followed him and stopped just behind him sniffing the air.

“You were late.” Derek grumbled.

“What?” Stiles asked confused for a moment. “Late?”

“We had a trai-“

“Oh shit,” Stiles said as he opened the drawer to find some underwear. “I got distracted. I got my university letters today.”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay. You are never late.”

“I’m sorry, Derek. Dad was here when I got home and then I started to open the letters, I got in to everywhere I applied. Hopefully Berkeley depends on the scholarships I can get but we have a couple meetings lined up.” Stiles had to move away to slide the underwear up under his towel before grabbing jeans and a top so he could finally get dressed. 

“That’s good. So I guess no training tonight.” Derek said stepping away.

“No, Dad wants to go out to celebrate. Can we change the day?” 

“Don’t worry about it. Just come Thursday.”

Derek turned and slipped back through the window. “You can use the door.” Stiles called after him but he knew nothing would stop the pack from using his window.

Stiles walked downstairs and went to dinner with his dad.

/\/\/\ 

Thursday came around and Stiles made sure to be early.

“Hey, Derek, what are you torturing me with tonight? Are we going to run until I faint? Are you going to beat me up? Maybe you can hang me from the branches and see if I can escape.”

There was no response.

“Derek?” Stiles moved through the building looking for Derek. He was early but not that early. “Derek?”

Stiles found the alpha werewolf out the back of the house at the punching bag beating it so hard that the stuffing was starting to leak out. “Derek.”

Derek spun, crouching down and growling before he caught Stiles’ scent. Derek pulled the headphones out of his ears his chest heaving and looking angry. “You’re early.”

“Well I didn’t come at all last time.” Stiles shrugged. “Are you okay?”

“Fine, just training. Wanted to get some boxing in before you got here.”

“Yeah, I tend to flinch and complain if you punch me that hard.” Stiles knew there was something wrong with Derek but he figured he was not supposed to have seen this. If in doubt sarcasm and humour to deflect.

“I wouldn’t hit you this hard.” Derek growled and pulled his iPod out, switched it off and wiped himself down. “I figured we would do a little light hand to hand today. You attack and I will show you some defensive movements.”

“Excellent.” 

Two hours later Stiles was sore, tired and had been able to toss Derek over his shoulder before falling flat on his own arse. He had also been pressed up against Derek so much he might have managed to make all of his anti-erection images actual erection images because he was still hard even thinking about Scott naked which had absolutely always worked in the past. Even thinking about his year three teacher Miss Godfrey who was the most disgusting woman he had ever seen hadn’t worked. He was so screwed; completely and utterly screwed.

/\/\/\ 

It took three weeks to hear back from all the scholarship places he’s talked to. Some said yes, other said no. He can get a partial one from Berkeley and a few others that will come with him wherever he goes. It isn’t enough and he cannot see any other options, no other places to look into. His dad says he has a few leads but Stiles has resigned himself to USC which he can afford with the scholarships and is a good school, further away but still good.

He told Scott, because his best friend should get to know first. Scott would understand the disappointment and would just allow him to be sad for a while. Scott did, just handed over the controller and allowed Stiles to massacre some zombies.

Derek found out next because at their training session the next afternoon Stiles was still mad. Mad enough to beat the shit out of the new punching bag. Derek demanded to know what was going on.

“I can’t go to Berkeley. It’s fine. Will be fine. I am just a little disappointed. Sorry.” Stiles stopped beating the bag and wiped some sweat from his face.

“Don’t apologise. Keep going.” Derek stepped back giving up on the training for the evening, letting him attack the punching bag for a while. 

Later that night, when Stiles had had a shower upstairs and was sitting with the pack they all found out he got accepted; that he wasn’t going.

Stiles just shrugged, pretending it wasn’t a big deal. He hated people feeling sorry for him. 

“If you want to go to Berkeley, you are going to go.” Derek said from behind Stiles. 

“I can’t.” Stiles said without turning around. 

“Yes, you can.”

“No, I can’t.”

“You can, Stiles. I want to help you.”

“I am not going to.” Stiles said firmly. “I don’t want your help.”

“Why not?” Derek asked grabbing Stiles and spinning him getting frustrated with the way he was being ignored and disagreed with.

“Because Dad and I cannot afford send me so I have decided to go to USC.”

“But you want to go to Berkeley.”

“Not anymore.”

“You’re lying.”

“Stop reading my pulse!” Stiles barked.

“Stop lying and being stubborn.”

“Stop being dictatorial.”

“I am the alpha.”

“I am human.”

“And you are going to Berkeley.” Derek knew he was allowing himself to get overly annoyed and he was being irrational but he just could not help himself when faced with Stiles being stubborn and silly.

“No, I’m not!”

“There is no good reason you can’t accept my help, so you are going to.” Derek growled.

“You cannot tell me what to do!” Stiles growled back. 

“I’m the alpha.” Scott shrugged at Lydia telling her to just let them go, even after all this time sometimes the two of them just got annoyed at each other. Scott was the first to admit that Stiles could be very annoying. For some reason Stiles was able to get under Derek’s skin faster than anyone else and Derek would react more forcefully than he would with anyone else. 

“I’m not a werewolf.”

“But, you are pack.”

“Yeah, except I make my own decisions about things that do not affect the pack.”

“I am not making your decisions for you.” Derek said exasperated. “I am just trying to get you the decision you want.”

“I told you I can’t go.” Stiles whispered the rest. “I can’t afford it.”

“You can still go, Stiles. I have been thinking about it. I am going to pay for it.” Derek said. 

“No.” Stiles felt the anger and loathing flood his body. He tried not to get more annoyed but it came up on him quickly. “You cannot pay for me. I will not accept it. I’m not going.”

“Why not?” Derek asked puzzled.

“Stiles.” Scott said with understanding and some warning.

“I will not accept the money. I am going to the University of Southern California. End of story.” Stiles stood now fists at his side, so angry he was shaking with it. 

“You are going to Berkeley, Stiles.” Derek growled.

“No I am not! Dad and I cannot afford the rest of the tuition; the various scholarships will take care of only two-thirds of the cost. I cannot ask dad to give anything up for me, I will happily go to one of the other universities I have been accepted to. And I will not accept your money.”

Derek took a deep breath, let it out and tried to calm himself down. “You don’t understand, Stiles, you can go.”

“Unless you have an inside track with someone who can give a scholarship then no I can’t.” Stiles wanted to shake Derek so he would understand this would not work. His family was not rich, not poor, but not rich, unlike Derek.

“I want to pay for it.” Derek said calmly.

“But, I don’t want you to. Leave it alone.” Stiles said growling low and making the three betas sit forward surprised at the noise coming from Stiles’ mouth. He opened and closed his mouth not sure how to explain to the man that his idea was so far from acceptable it was painful.

“Why?” Lydia asked from the couch reminding the two men, who stood barely twenty centimetres apart, that there were other people in the room.

“Derek cannot pay for me. I will not accept money from him. Not like that.” Stiles looked to Scott silently begging him to help explain; Scott would understand.

“That’s how the pack works.” Derek growled out.

“Well it is not how I work.” Stiles ground out unbelievably annoyed at Derek for thinking he could just order him around.

“You are part of the pack.” Derek did not understand why Stiles was being so damned stubborn.

“I know. I love being part of the pack, but I cannot let you do this, Derek.” Stiles’ eyes were pleading with him, begging him to let this idea go. Derek didn’t understand, couldn’t possibly understand why Stiles was so opposed to this.

Derek responded with a growl that had the three other wolves in the room suddenly tense but Stiles just turned and left the house.

“He doesn’t like pity. It makes him feel trapped and angry.” Scott said when the sound of the jeep had faded but the oppressive feeling of the room just kept growing.

“Why?” Derek didn’t speak; nothing made him angrier than Stiles and the anger and frustration rolling off of him meant he wouldn’t be able to say anything for a while. They all knew him well enough to know when the change is coming, when the wolf was just under the surface. They knew you just needed to let whoever it was be until they had themselves under control. He would be listening but actually talking to him, trying to get him to respond would result in either damage to the house or a lot of dead game. 

“When Mrs Stilinski died she’d been sick for years. That’s how we met; mum was her nurse and she invited Stiles over one day so his parents could have a day together; she was in remission at the time. Stiles walked in and punched me on the arm, saw my collection of games and we started to play. We basically lived together for years floating between the houses and families and then Mrs Stilinksi got really sick and the doctors all told her she wasn’t going to live. I didn’t see much of Stiles for a while. He spent all his time with his mum. That was when we got into a huge fight. You apologise to people who are losing someone, that’s what Mum always did so I said sorry, he punched me and we wrestled and fought. I broke his nose, he gave me a black eye. It was brutal. His dad pulled us apart and yelled at us both for about half an hour while Mum patched us up and then she started telling us off too. Then we both went into the hospital and his mum just pulled us onto the bed and hugged us both tight. She told us not to mistake pity for caring. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. She was dead three months later and that’s when it got really bad. Everyone pitied him, poor little Stiles with the dead mum. His dad was so devastated he didn’t handle it well. Stiles basically lived with us. He got into a lot of fights, threw a lot of tantrums. It was really bad. There is nothing he hates more than pity.”

“And he sees Derek’s offer as pity.” Lydia asked.

“Yep.”

“So basically we just told him the safest place in the world for all of us pities him.” Lydia, of course, got it, said it in a way that could get through to Derek. 

“I am surprised he reacted so calmly.” Scott said watching Derek closely.

Stiles was still annoyed when he got home but his dad grabbed his arm and made him explain what was wrong. Stiles had no way to explain that the man he was in love with, who was the leader of the wolf pack he was a human member of, had offered to make all his dreams come true and he would get to actually go to Berkeley but he could not say yes because he cannot accept pity from Derek, from the pack, at all because it was everything Stiles hated and that pity took his back to being young and losing his mother. 

He made up a fight with Derek, his older friend whose house he was helping rebuild as an apology for claiming he was a murderer. The older friend who had repeatedly come to dinner to make his dad feel okay about allowing his son and Scott to go and help. 

His dad just smiled at him knowingly, okay so Stiles sucked at hiding his feelings and his dad had always known he was be a little…un-straight. He’d just mumbled he didn’t care when he’d accidently found Stiles jerk off material, mainly girly magazines with one or two magazines that had men on their covers. Before Derek, they had all been girly magazines and honestly the gay magazines don’t really do it for him by themselves, sometimes he just imagined Derek in the situations that are in the magazines. Stiles shook his head; he should be focussing. Stiles forced himself to pay attention to his dad who was still grinning at him.

“He pissed me off is all. Hopefully by now Scott has explained why I was so damn annoyed.”

“That bad.”

“Yeah.”

“Need me to talk to him.”

“Oh God, Dad, I’m eighteen, I can handle it.”

“I have an interview with a group that does scholarships for cops kids tomorrow. I need the documents, letters, everything.”

“Thanks, Dad.” The hug is quick and tight then Stiles ran upstairs.

When Stiles made it inside his room he found Derek perched on the window sill. Stiles sighed; he had wanted to just crash, forget dinner or homework he just wanted this day to be over.

“I don’t pity you, Stiles.” Derek’s voice was quiet and calm.

Stiles just looked at Derek, thank God Scott explained. Of course, this was the time that Derek came to explain something or talk about it. Normally, they both just ignored the problem, fixed the behaviour and tried to be better next time. That or Stiles went and ambushed Derek so he could chatter until he fixed the problem or Derek gave in. But this time, when things were awkward and embarrassing and Stiles just wanted to ignore it all Derek appeared in his room to talk about it. 

“The thing you don’t seem to understand about pack is that if one member of the pack needs something, that you have and do not need you give it to them. You needed help, money, I have more than I need and I make more every day. So it makes sense that I would give you some of it. I didn’t mean anything by it. I would give anything to any of you that you need; it is my role and responsibility as alpha.”

“I cannot...I can’t…I just. Thank you, but no.”

“Okay, if you change your mind the offer will always be there.”

“Why don’t you go back?” Stiles said when Derek turned to leave.

“Back where?” This time Derek came all the way in and sat on the bed.

“To university, I know that’s where you were before Laura-” Stiles didn’t finish the sentence just like he never did when talking about his mum. 

“Because I have a pack, I can’t desert you all.”

Stiles suddenly had a thought. “Can we even go?”

“Of course. So long as everyone comes back regularly. Some pack leaders would say no, would keep you all here but I know Scott is going close, Lydia is too damned smart to keep her here and Jackson is calmer now but he needs to grow up. We will always be pack but sometimes you need to stretch your legs a bit.”

“You are nothing like the alphas I have pictured in my head.”

“The only alpha I knew was my dad, he had alliances with some other packs close by but he was always fair, kind. I know there are alphas who are incredibly dictatorial and let their betas and omegas have no say in anything. That is not how dad acted; he always said that the alpha needed to look after his or her pack. My responsibility is not just ensuring the pack is safe from hunters, humans and other pack’s attempts at taking their territory. My main focus has to be keeping the pack happy. I know you all want to go to college, I know you all need to do it. So I want you all to go.”

“Is that what I am? An omega?” It was the first time in over a year that Stiles had an opportunity to ask the question that had been lurking in his brain since Derek had confirmed he was a part of the pack. He never felt like less than Scott, Jackson or Lydia in the pack and none of them made him feel like that either but he wasn’t a beta, obviously.

“No.” Derek was wearing his uncommunicative face but Stiles had to ask anyway.

“So what am I?” 

“You are pack.”

“Oh well, that explains everything then.” Stiles threw the pen he’d been playing with at Derek and then froze as it bounced off his forehead but the alpha just chuckled.

“I miss you flinching whenever I walked past.” Derek said with a shake of his head. 

“Well, you don’t shove me against walls anymore.” Stiles ignored the fact his missed being shoved into things. 

“You are less annoying.”

“That’s a lie; I am just as annoying as I ever was. You just like me now.” Stiles put on his best smile.

“I do.” Derek looked way too serious so he must be being sarcastic but Stiles just kept grinning. 

“Where did you go to school anyway?”

“Berkeley.” Derek grins now.

“Course.”

“Stiles, pizza’s here.” His dad’s voice floated up from downstairs.

“Want to stay for dinner, Derek?”

“Nah, best be off. ‘Night, Stiles.”

Derek was on the roof when Stiles talked again. “I picked Berkeley because my mum went there.”

“So did mine.” Derek said before jumping off the roof.

/\/\/\ 

Lydia was pre-accepted to Caltech and MIT; she made a pro/con list. It will be Caltech though…after all, it was closer.

Scott was going to the closest California State University campus a half hour away; he had never been good at studying. Though if he managed to get his grades up he might be able to go to USC in second year. 

Jackson got a lacrosse scholarship to University of Southern California. 

Now, Stiles just needed to convince Derek to go back to university and finish getting his degree in the subtle art of growling. 

They needed to have a pack meeting so Stiles rang the rest of the pack. 

/\/\/\ 

Stiles’ dad was able to get more money from the Policeman’s Scholarship Fund. It got them most of the way there, but it will be tight – too tight. Stiles wanted to say no but his dad had already sent the acceptance letter in and told Stiles it was happening. Stiles would find a job, it’s not a good idea because of the ADHD, but he would make it work. When Stiles saw Derek for their next training session he told him the good news, he was careful not to say that they were still short of money. One argument this fortnight was enough. 

“De-rek,” Stiles panted as he dropped onto the ground.

“What?” Stiles glared at Derek who was not even a little puffed after the ten kilometre run he had just been forced into. 

“Why don’t you go back to university next year? Finish your degree.” Stiles ran through the deep breathing exercises Coach Cupcake, thank you dad, had taught everyone. 

Derek didn’t say anything just looked at Stiles for a moment before pulling his shirt over his head. All the breathing exercises in the world were pointless when faced with shirtless Derek; Stiles lost his breath again, Derek remained silent and dove into the lake that they had run to.

“Derek?”

“Swimming, Stiles.” Derek said with his back turned.

“Okay.” Stiles left it, pulling his own shirt off and getting in the water as quickly as possible to avoid being shirtless in front of Derek for too long. He was only conscious of his own overly lean torso when faced with the sheer wall of muscle that was Derek.

They swam around to both cool off and exercise before running the ‘short way’ back to Derek’s house, only two kilometres. Stiles didn’t broach the subject of Derek going back to university until they were both back at Derek’s; showered and dressed. They were sitting on the couch in front of the TV watching something trashy when Stiles brought it up again. 

“Derek?”

“Yes, Stiles?”

“Come to Berkeley with me.”

Derek turned and looked at Stiles his eyes closed off but searching. 

“Please, it will be good. I will be there and you can finish your degree. In whatever you are studying. I think it would be good for you. I know you said that we needed to grow and needed to go to university but I think you need to go back just as much as we need to go at all, Derek. You had to leave and it sucked but I think your family would want you to finish. I think you need to do something for yourself. You have fixed this place, and it is a great start; you are healing and I think we are helping. God I hope we are helping,” Stiles couldn’t stop even if he wanted to but he stopped himself from saying how much he hoped he was helping. “What happened sucked and nothing will make it okay but you have a new pack. We are your family now too. I…we want you to do what makes you happy. You deserve to be happy Derek and being home without us will just make you lonely again. So please, come to Berkeley with me.”

“Okay.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I will come. You made a good argument.”

Stiles launched forward and wrapped his arms around Derek, so happy that being tactile in a pack was more than just okay it was expected. “I am so happy about this. We are going to have a great time.”

“What am I getting myself into?” Derek mumbled into Stiles’ neck.

“Awesomeness.” Stiles said when he pulled away with a grin. Derek smiled back at him and they turned back to the TV.

/\/\/\ 

A week later Stiles got a call from a woman named Janie who said he was the inaugural recipient of the Hale Family Memorial Scholarship. He was polite on the phone but as soon as he hit the end call button his body flooded with anger and he stomped out to the jeep to drive over to Derek’s house. When he got there Lydia was sitting on the front porch and handed Stiles an envelope. 

“The scholarship is legitimate. For any student who wants to attend Berkeley from any of the schools in the area. The selection criteria is all legal, Derek has committed to providing it for the next ten years to any student in Beacon Hills regardless of the school they attend. All the info is in there. Derek is in San Francisco for a couple days talking to some guy who used to know his father who might know something about that wolf that attacked you two a couple of months ago. Bye,” she brushed a kiss to his cheek and disappeared in a breeze of perfume. 

Stiles checked everything out, the scholarship was legitimate. Someone else would get it next year. He had told Derek that if he knew someone who could get him a scholarship he would take it. So Derek checkmated him. He had no choice but to take the money now.

When Derek got home Stiles drove over straight away and thanked Derek before calling him conniving and manipulative. Derek laughed and shrugged at him before telling him to run to the stream and back to warm up.

**TBC...**


	4. 04 - Mary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles gets a girlfriend. Derek is not happy, stuff occurs that makes them both very sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to ShadowKnight for the awesome discussions about TW and lowlifetheory for the read-through because it got worrying in a couple of places. This thing is GIGANTIC, but the next part (finished before University was and so much fun it makes me giggle every time I read it) is short. And thanks to everyone who has commented, etc up to this point I appreciate it immensely. Also thanks to Black Eyed Kids for commenting when I was in the middle of editing this, I needed to stop for a drink and a snack. I encourage you to do that before you read. It’s long.

**04 – Mary**

Stiles had been at university for six months and he was still dateless and a virgin. An honest to goodness, pathetic virgin. Not a virgin like his roommate Stan whose girlfriend refused to have sex with him but would blow him. If Stiles had to walk into their room and see roommate's girlfriend with her mouth around his cock once more he was just going to move into the park. Thank God he could escape to Derek's apartment whenever he needed some space. Derek even let him crash sometimes.

On the third day of second semester, Stiles meets Mary. Mary Jane. He texted Scott immediately to let him know that he legit met a girl named Mary Jane who laughed, honestly laughed, when he told her she could call him Peter Parker.

Stiles was still arse backwards, head over heels, pathetic love song in love with Derek but as the alpha was obviously not interested and Stiles would never grow balls big enough to tell him anyway he asked Mary out for a coffee three tutorials later. She said yes.

Stiles told Scott all about it but couldn't bring himself to mention her to Derek.

After their first date, maybe it hadn't been a date. It was just coffee with someone from one of his classes. It might've been a date but he wasn't sure. He was nervous like it was a date. After they had coffee Stiles looked at his watch and realised he was late, he and Derek had plans and he was fifteen minutes late which either meant Derek was at Stiles' dorm worried and annoyed or he was on his way there. Derek picked up on the second ring.

"Stiles?" Derek's voice was relieved.

"Derek, I'm sorry I am on my way now. I will be there in about five minutes. Where are you?" Stiles was speed walking towards the apartment as he spoke.

"I'm at your apartment, your roommate annoys me."

"Then leave and meet me at your apartment. I might be there first."

Stiles could hear Derek growl at his roommate before the door closed and he started walking down the hallway.

"I'll see you there." Derek said.

"Bye."

"Bye." Derek hung up the phone and Stiles rushed to the apartment, hoping to get there before Derek.

Stiles let himself into the apartment and turned the kettle on waiting for Derek to rush in behind him. Sometimes Stiles worried that Derek was just a little too overprotective. Worrying if he was late by any more than ten minutes but at the same time it was nice to still have someone who was concerned about him now that he is away from home and his dad. Stiles had just finished making the tea and placed it on the table when Derek slammed open the door and stalked over towards the kitchen. He stopped just beside Stiles forcing the human backwards. Stiles felt the wall at his back and lifted his head as Derek began sniffing at his neck. The alpha whined and then shoved away from Stiles and stalked from the room.

"Derek?" Stiles called after him.

Stiles heard the bathroom door slam and he sat down at the table with his head in his hands. He felt like he had annoyed the werewolf but didn't know why. He was late and Derek really seemed to hate that, either that or the other man really needed to pee and had just wanted to check that Stiles was okay before he went. Minutes later the wolf came out of the bathroom and Stiles could see the tension in his face. Even though the alpha had been annoyed, grumpy and tense from the moment they had met the look on his face now was more reminiscent of the man who had followed his sister to Beacon Hills years ago. The alpha moved over to the table, sat down across from Stiles and took a sip from his tea.

"What happened?" Derek asked his voice very calm – overly calm. Something was wrong.

"I was out having coffee with someone from one of my classes." Stiles was about to tell Derek about Mary Jane, how they had met and that she was nice and funny. That she actually looked at him when he was talking, he wanted to share this with Derek but as he opened his mouth none of it came out. Just the line about coffee. Derek's eyes flashed quickly and Stiles took another sip from his tea deciding that maybe the break in connection between his brain and mouth might be doing something nice to him for once.

Derek grunted and hunched his shoulders as he drank his tea.

Stiles stared down into the cup in his hands, trying to see something in the transparent brown depths feeling as though the room had suddenly become so much smaller.

Ten minutes passed slowly until finally Derek looked up and growled out. "We were supposed to be studying for my quiz."

"Right!" Stiles said too loudly as he jumped up and moved towards the kitchen, dumping the cups in the sink before moving into the lounge room where the books were spread on the coffee table. Half way through his first semester the two of them had started to study together for any tests, quizzes or exams, Derek never said anything, pushed for sessions for himself even though it was really more for Stiles than Derek. The presence of the alpha made it easier for Stiles to focus, the original nervousness that came with seeing Derek had diminished because they were together so much now. Not that Stiles wasn't still nervous around the alpha but it was a low, simmering nervousness instead of the spiking, overwhelming nervousness that it used to be.

Derek trailed behind Stiles and settled down next to him, pressed all along his side. Stiles was used to contact with his pack mates but normally Derek kept just a little more distance between them than the other wolves did when sitting next to Stiles. Stiles didn't move away just reached for the first book and started to quiz Derek on the pages that were marked. Ten minutes into the quiz Derek relaxed against his side and they settled into their normal rhythm, as Derek settled so did Stiles until finally an hour later he thought he might have been imagining the tension earlier.

When they stopped for a snack, which was always just after Stiles' stomach grumbled. Stiles knew Derek would have worked through but he stopped because Stiles seemed to need to eat more regularly than normal people or even wolves. Stiles got himself a sandwich and made one for Derek who is in his bedroom doing something. He sat on back on the couch and moments later when Derek came in he sat on Stiles' other side and is pushed firmly against him from knee to shoulder again.

They study for another two hours and then stretch out to watch something stupid on TV until Stiles is so exhausted he falls asleep with his head against Derek's shoulder.

A week later Stiles is coming out of class chatting to MJ when he spots Derek across from the classroom door leaning very casually against the wall and staring at him. MJ stops next to him when he freezes and turns to follow his eyes. She sees Derek and her breathing hitches for just a second and Stiles can't help but think it is fitting that every woman would find the man ridiculously gorgeous.

"Sorry, MJ, I need to go and talk to Derek. Do you want to continue chatting about this tomorrow? We can get coffee again?" Stiles looked at her as she looked up at him and smiled at the invite.

"Excellent, about two?" MJ asked her eyes staying on his.

"Sounds good. I'll see you then." Stiles smiled and then walked over to Derek who is not looking nearly as casual now, standing instead of leaning and staring at Stiles with his fierce face. Stiles is not normally on the receiving end of that look, it was normally reserved for Jackson and Scott. Stiles' steps slowed down as he approached the scowling alpha.

"Hey, Derek." Stiles tried for a cheerful tone.

"Stiles, i swung by to see if you wanted to grab some lunch?"

"Sounds good. Just had Professor Davidson who is quite possibly the most boring teacher I've ever had. How do you feel about that place off campus near your apartment with the heavenly kebabs? I have been thinking about their chicken kebabs for about the last three days." Stiles sees Derek's nod so he turns and starts walking towards the shop with Derek walking close by his side. "I've told you about Professor Davidson, haven't I? He is a journalism teacher. He knows everything, we were discussing plagiarism today and he was telling us about all of these people he knew when he wrote for the New York Times and which ones of them used to plagiarise each other, apparently one of the guys he worked with used to wiretap his work mates so he could steal their stories and contacts. What he talks about is fascinating and he knows everything and is also the most boring orator in the history of the university system. He starts to speak and I swear it's like my brain switches off. I have come up with an okay system. I have started taping the tutorials, which is nice, but then I have to listen to them again later; I can listen for no more than five minutes at a time since after that my brain starts to drift. I don't know if it's the ADHD or just the man. Some of the other people in the class have said they have trouble as well and some of them have started recording the sessions as well. We have started a little group to get together and listen and then discuss all of the things that were talked about and try to make it easier to get through the material since Professor Davidson really hates people talking in class." Stiles knew he was babbling, but nothing at that point was going to stop him; not as long as Derek is brooding next to him.

"My other classes are pretty good, the assignment I have for Folklore, which I thought was going to be really hard, is actually turning out to be pretty straight forward because I have been reading from a couple of the books you lent me from your dad's vault. He was a good fore thinker to have kept the important things in the vault even though he could have never known what was going to happen." Stiles wanted to hit himself but instead he kept going because he could not help himself. "I know you lost a heap of stuff in the fire but the books I have read so far have been great and it is surprising how many of the different resources on the internet have some stuff right. Little bits here and there. I have started to compile a list of things from the different resources that have been good and bad. A couple of times I have said something in class and the lecturer keeps looking at me surprised but really happy. I can't wait until she reads this first paper. I am insanely proud of it. So-"

"Stiles?"

Oh thank God, Stiles thinks. "Yeah?"

"Relax."

"Okay."

The two walked for a few moments in silence.

"Who was the girl you were leaving class with?" Derek asked, eyes trained forcefully on the ground at his feet.

"Mary, she is a friend from class. We have been out for coffee a few times. We are going again tomorrow." Stiles rushed out quickly.

"We're here." Derek said, nudging Stiles into the doorway.

They ate lunch slowly with Stiles babbling about class while Derek watched him with strangely shadowed eyes which make no sense to Stiles but did make him uncomfortable.

Stiles and MJ meet up for coffee a couple more times, then lunch and finally she asked him if he would like to go to dinner eight weeks into the semester just after they handed in their first major assignment. Stiles had seen a little less of Derek over preceding couple of weeks. It had been a little odd, even when they did see each other, since Derek was quieter, growls more, scowls more, is just generally more like he was when Stiles met him for the first time. Stiles found it all a little confusing but regardless he was just trying to act as normally as he could until Derek got over whatever was wrong.

"Tell me about your Dad, Stiles." MJ asks after they have sat down to dinner at some little café she suggested.

"He's a policeman, Sheriff of Beacon Hills where I'm from, about three hours from here. He's great."

"My dad is a teacher, he teaches economics."

"My economics teacher was also my lacrosse coach. He was a weird man who apparently likes to be called Cupcake."

MJ laughed before asking how he knew that.

"Well my dad went in for a teacher's conference. That did not go well; I am not good at the focussing, as you might have noticed."

MJ laughed. "You're not too bad." She said as she laid one of her hands over his. Stiles could feel his face flushing but pushed on regardless.

"So my dad is at this meeting and the teacher is waffling on about my name."

"Stiles is a strange name."

"It's a nickname. My actual name is terribly old, hard to pronounce and just generally weird. It was my mum's dad's name and she loved her dad and wanted to name me after him so my dad agreed. When I was about three I told my mum that I wanted to change my name. Since I couldn't pronounce Stilinski properly and got as far at Stile then she said she would call me that if I wanted. I didn't think it sounded right and the next thing I knew I was Stiles. She told my dad that night to call me that and that one day I might grow out of it. I still haven't. After she was gone and I was older I asked dad if I upset her when I said I wanted to change my name. He told me she had smiled when she told him and said I was so serious when I told her that I reminded her of her father. She was amazing."

MJ squeezed his hand and then changed the topic swiftly. "Lacrosse?"

"I was terrible," Stiles laughed. "I was second string, my best friend Scott was as bad as me until junior year when he…had a growth spurt and everything changed. Not that I minded too much as the year went on, we met some new people in town and lacrosse seemed a little less important after that. I played a bit in my senior year when Jackson, another friend and the captain of the team, and Scott both trained me a bit over the summer and finally I got to play. I wasn't bad but I wasn't either of them either. Jackson is at USC on a lacrosse scholarship with another friend of ours Danny."

"I played soccer at school. I was okay but I was never going to be good enough to go on."

"I don't know much about soccer."

"It's a great game; we have a pretty good team here. I am going to see them tomorrow if you want to come along."

"I would love to," Stiles is genuinely disappointed even though he would never cancel on Derek for anything. "I have plans with a friend, Derek, from home who is also studying here."

"The guy who was waiting for you outside of class a couple of weeks ago?"

"Yeah. That's him."

"He reminds me of Angel."

"What?"

"Angel, from Buffy. Tall, dark, hot, and brooding."

Stiles laughed at the insanely accurate description of Derek. The rest of their dinner is great, they never ran out of things to talk about and Stiles was pleased at how funny MJ was.

At the end of the evening when Stiles was walking MJ home he thought someone was watching him and kept turning to check behind him. No one was there but the feeling never went away.

Finally, Stiles and MJ were standing in front of her dorm and Stiles felt nervous, if he were in a movie he would probably be expected to kiss her. If he were in a movie he would be out with the alpha he was in love with not the amazing woman who he is fairly certain he is going to be great friends with and nothing else.

MJ lent up and kissed him, it wa a slow, soft peck on the lips that made Stiles want to smile as he returned the kiss and he was still grinning when she pulled away and smiled up at him.

"I had a great time, Stiles."

"Me too."

"Goodnight, we'll do it again soon?"

"That would be great." Stiles said as he opened the door for MJ and she walked away before he made his way back to his dorm still feeling like he was being followed. He ignored the feeling as he grinned to himself, it felt nice to finally be liked back by someone who he liked. Even as he knew that he shouldn't be doing this, he should not be dating someone when he is in love with someone else. He really should not be leading her on but it's just so very nice to be spending time with someone. He realised as he left himself into his door room that he'd never dated anyone before.

The next morning Stiles let himself into Derek's apartment and found the wolf still asleep in his bedroom. He was surprised that the wolf was still asleep so late but just made his way to the kitchen and started to make breakfast. Not long after that the phone rang, he answered it without thought and was pleased to hear Lydia on the other end. They chatted for a while until breakfast was ready and Derek had stumbled into the kitchen looking dishevelled and … well-hung over, which was impossible as the wolf would not even be able to get drunk.

"Eggs?"

Derek grunted positively and sat down with the food Stiles placed down in front of him. Stiles grinned into the phone and told Lydia that Derek was going to have to call her back but she just laughed and said she was calling to speak to him anyway.

Derek shovelled the food down, never once looking at Stiles.

"Thanks." He mumbled when he was finished. "Why did you come over?"

"We had plans. You have that big test Monday and wanted to study." Stiles reminded him with a frown.

"Oh, right. Well, don't worry. I feel good about the test. You should go and do something else today."

"Oh," Stiles said. He swallowed and tried to ignore the hole that just opened in his stomach. Normally, after studying they'd hang out. Play cards, watch TV, Derek would make him work out, they'd go for a run, they'd bake, Stiles would quiz Derek on werewolf things. If they finished early they would always do something else. "Do you have something else to do today?"

"No, I just got a fair amount of stuff done last night. Realised I know this stuff, I just don't need to study and I can use the time to do other stuff and so can you."

"Okay." Stiles stood and grabbed the dishes.

"Don't worry about them. I'll sort them out later." Stiles froze, he and Derek normally did the dishes together when he came over and cooked.

"Oh, right. Okay. I'll go then?"

"Excellent. See you later." Derek said moving towards the door.

Stiles let himself be herded to the door trying not to let the hollow feeling in his chest get any bigger. "So we still on for Monday night? Community?"

"Maybe." Derek said. "I'll call you."

Stiles steps over the threshold and turned. "Okay, well I'll see you soon then."

"Bye." Derek said, as he closed the door.

Stiles stood and stared at the door for a few moments, he might not have growled, he might not have threatened any limbs, he might not have actually kicked Stiles from the room but Derek had definitely just booted Stiles out of his apartment. Stiles turned and left heading to his room where Roommate and Roommate's girlfriend were making out, he couldn't see cock so it was better than most days. He grabbed his laptop and books and headed to the library to study, or sit in the corner and pretend to study while he went over today with Derek instead.

Two hours later, Stiles had written the bones of an essay, planned an oral presentation for another class and was playing solitaire on the computer when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

Stiles turned and looked at MJ. "Hey, Stiles," she said when he pulled his headphones out.

"Hey, MJ. How are you?"

"Good, want to get a coffee?" She asked just as the person across from Stiles looks up and glares at them.

"Sure, give me a sec." Stiles packed up all the stuff he had spread out on the table. He swung the bag onto his shoulder and followed her from the library and down to the coffee shop on the ground floor. They grabbed their drinks and sat outside where the sun warmed Stiles' back.

"I thought you had plans with Derek today." MJ asked.

Stiles felt his smile drop off his face and fought desperately to get it back on there but nothing worked. "He cancelled."

"Oh...oh." MJ smiled and then sighed.

"No big deal, we were supposed to study so I was studying in the library instead."

"Who is Derek?"

"A friend. He is from my home town; we got close in my last two years of school. Our group, Scott my best friend we have known each other forever, his girlfriend/female appendage Allison, Jackson a bit of an arse, Lydia who I was in love with in high school until I realised that we would have been horrible if we ever dated all helped him rebuild his house. It burned down when he was a teenager and he left town until my junior year. He took time off from uni; he's a couple years older than the rest of us. When we were all organising uni, Allison is at UCLA, Jackson with his best friend Danny are at USC, Scott has just been accepted to go there next year too, he was at California State University this year because he is a terrible studier, and Lydia who is going to wow the world with some mathematical formula one day is at Caltech. So I suggested he go back to uni and he decided to come back and finish his degree, he's studying to be an accountant."

"I see, so you two had a fight?"

"I have no idea. We get along really well. He has an apartment off campus and we hang out a lot. He helps me study and focus with the ADHD. Then today he was just really ... no lately he's been annoyed about something. It's nothing."

"Alright, so your friend is taking something out on you, we need to do something fun. Want to come to a soccer game with me? We can scream and yell and eat junk food. I have known you long enough now that I can pig out in front of you and not care if you judge." MJ said with a grin.

"Okay, when is it?"

"About an hour."

"I need to go and dump my stuff in my dorm."

"Okay, let's go and then we can go to mine and get the tickets."

"Do I need to get a ticket?" Stiles asked as he stood and threw both their paper cups away.

"No, my roommate was going to come but her boyfriend is talking to her again so she ditched me."

"Nice girl that one." Stiles quipped grinning. It was nice to have been able to tell someone about what happened. Nice to have something else to do for a while.

"Oh she is tapped, the boyfriend cheats on her and just doesn't call and treats her like crap and she goes running every damn time he does call her."

"Don't you just love living with strangers. My roommate is constantly having oral sex with his girlfriend and neither of them are shy about it."

"Excellent." MJ said, laughing as the enter Stiles' dorm heading up the stairs to the room.

"You should stay out here just in case." Stiles added when they get to the door, he leaves her in the hall and dumps his bag as quickly as he can before grabbing a jumper. "Let's go."

MJ leads him to her door and when she opens it Stiles sees the hot woman she is living with well she would be hot if she didn't look like a hooker, skirt so short he can almost see arse, heels so high he is surprised she doesn't topple and a boob tube all topped off with huge hair and enough make up to choke a freaking horse.

"Stiles, this is April."

"Hi, April."

"Hi, Stiles."

"Okay, got the tickets lets go." MJ grabs his elbow and leads him outside.

After the door is closed Stiles leaned close to MJ. "Why was she dressed like a hooker?"

"I don't know. Beginning of the year all her clothes were the right size and covered her private parts then Luke comes along and she turned into someone else."

"Huh. Where do they play soccer?"

MJ laughed at him. "Come on."

After the soccer match Stiles invited MJ to come and try the campus' best kebabs. When they were sitting in the restaurant and MJ was explaining soccer and the awesomeness of David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo Stiles spotted Derek at the door. He lifted his hand to wave just as Derek spotted him. Derek then turned and left, no smile, no acknowledgement he just turned and left.

"So, that was Derek?" MJ said, after Stiles had been silent for quite a long time.

"Yeah."

Minutes later Derek walked back into the restaurant and over to their table.

"Hi, Derek, this is my friend MJ." Stiles said after staring up at Derek for a few heartbeats.

"Hello, MJ," Derek held his hand out to shake hers and grinned with a malicious glint in his eye that made MJ shift in her chair.

"Nice to meet you, Derek," she said. "Would you like to join us?"

"Thanks." Derek sits down turning his best alpha you-must-answer-me eyes on MJ. "So how do you know Stiles?"

"We have a class together."

"Excellent. What have you two been up to?" Derek turned to smile at Stiles, there is something a little too forced in the smile but Stiles just grinned back hoping things were going to get back to normal.

"We went to see a soccer game. First one I have ever seen. It was good." Stiles jumped in and said knowing he was being just a little too cheerful.

"Soccer? Excellent." Derek said.

"I used to play in high school." MJ adds. "So Stiles told me you are studying to be an accountant, how much longer do you have in your degree?"

"Eighteen months. What are you studying?"

"Journalism. My uncle is a reporter and I loved going into the newspaper offices where he worked. I worked on my high school paper." MJ explained relaxing.

"Yeah, apparently I am the only person in the course who did not work on their school paper."

"Why didn't you?" MJ asked.

"I played lacrosse and helped build a house. Just not enough hours in the day." Stiles grinned. "But it looked interesting and I enjoy the investigating side of it all."

"What made you choose accounting, Derek?" MJ asked.

"My family business, I am the only one left now so I need to know what I am doing to take it over."

"Plus, the world could use more attractive accountants, before you know it they will be the new pharmaceutical reps." Stiles quipped, Derek grinned and MJ stared at him blankly. "Barney, How I Met Your Mother." He explained.

"Oh, I never got into that. Is it good?"

"Very." Derek jumped in. "Stiles and I watch it."

"Good." MJ said grinning at the forceful tone Derek used.

"We spend a lot of time together."

"I know, Stiles said you help him study."

"He has trouble staying focussed sometimes."

"I know, we have a study session because one of our professors is the most boring man alive."

"I heard about that. Apparently he is a great font of knowledge though."

"Oh, he knows everything but he puts you to sleep." Stiles interjected into the back and forth between Derek and MJ.

"He is bad, but Professor Danes is great, fascinating and never puts us to sleep." MJ threw in.

"You have more than one class together?"

"Yeah, Stiles and I are in two classes together. He didn't tell you?" MJ asked innocently.

"No." Derek growled which caused MJ to smile which confused Stiles who knew something he did not understand was going on in front of him.

For the next fifteen minutes Stiles watched Derek and MJ talk about him back and forth; Derek getting more and more annoyed and MJ alternating between looking worried and gleeful. There was something during the conversation that reminded him of Lydia.

Stiles looked at his watch, it was getting late and Stiles didn't want to watch this anymore, he faked a yawn. "Well, maybe it's time to go home." Stiles threw in during a pause in the banter.

"Okay." Derek said, standing and moving next to Stiles.

"I need to walk MJ home." Stiles said.

"Of course." Derek said his face darkening.

"Okay, well we should get going." MJ said, moving towards the door.

At the door Stiles looked back and forth between his two companions.

"Bye, Derek." Stiles finally said.

"Bye, Derek." MJ parroted.

"Bye, Stiles, so lovely to meet you, MJ." Derek reached out and shook MJ's hand letting the wolf come just to the surface, nothing visible just the overwhelming sense of the alpha standing before her, making MJ take a step back from him.

"Okay, let's go." Stiles said walking towards campus and MJ's dorm. A growl following them down the road.

MJ slid her arm through Stiles' to rest on his elbow as they walked, the growl getting louder.

"What is that?" MJ asked.

"Wild dog?" Stiles said quickly.

"So, Derek."

"I'm sorry, he was weird today."

"It's okay."

"He is always a little gruff, and he doesn't enjoy talking to strangers but umm even though he has been in a bad mood and was tonight he can be a really nice guy." Stiles looked up at the sky which was turning dark, heavy black clouds threatening rain.

"Oh, he was fine. I completely understand." MJ said, squeezing his elbow.

"Good, could you explain it to me?"

"No."

"Oh." Stiles frowned.

"It's not an explainable understanding." MJ explained.

"Okay, well sorry if he was grumpy."

"It was a very interesting afternoon. Do you want to get dinner on Tuesday?" MJ asked as they reached her door.

"That would be good." Stiles grinned before MJ leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Stiles."

"'night, MJ."

Stiles left the building and headed towards Derek's apartment.

Stiles knocked on the door not using his key this time. Derek swung the door open but did not grin like he normally did when he saw Stiles.

"Stiles."

"Derek, can I come in?"

"You never ask."

"I am here to ask you what the hell that was so I thought it best to not just barge in."

Derek walked into the apartment leaving Stiles to push the door closed behind him. "What what was?"

"You were quizzing MJ, you growled twice and towards the end I am fairly certain I saw a flash of fangs. I don't know what got into you. I know you have been annoyed lately. I don't know why but you have been in a bad mood and then today you cancel on me and now you spend half an hour being rude to my friend."

"I wasn't rude."

"You told her she was an idiot."

"I said something she said was idiotic. I never called her an idiot."

"Oh, well, that's so much better then." Stiles snarked at him.

"She gave as good as she got; did you tell her off too?"

"No."

"Of course not." Derek grumbled disappearing into the kitchen and coming back with a half empty glass.

"Derek, we were having a great time until you decided that you needed to come and bring your bad mood to dinner."

"So sorry to have ruined your date." Derek said sarcastically.

"Derek, I didn't actually want to come and argue with you. How about we try again. What's wrong, Derek?"

"Nothing."

"Derek, you haven't been yourself lately, I don't know why. Please talk to me." Stiles asked leaning forward to catch Derek's eyes.

"Nothing is wrong."

"Then why have you been distant and annoyed."

"I haven't been."

"Yes, you have."

"Stiles. I am fine."

"Derek, please I'm worried about you, can you please...if you don't want to talk to me talk to the rest of the pack. I cannot think of anything; I have checked all the main dates and nothing makes sense." Stiles pleaded with Derek.

"Just leave me alone, Stiles." Derek said, eyes flashing even as his voice sounded both pathetic and firm.

"Oh-okay." Stiles looked at Derek confused, worried, he wasn't sure what was wrong but obviously he was just making it worse; the older man had not thrown him out of a room in years. "Bye."

Stiles wondered around town and then campus for a few hours going over every conversation they had had for the last week and couldn't come up with anything. When he got back to his room roommate and roommate's girlfriend were again engaged in oral sex but he didn't care. He just crawled into his bed, put his headphones on and curled into a ball to go to sleep.

Three days passed.

Derek didn't call, message, just show up somewhere where Stiles was. It was the longest the two of them had been out of contact in three years and Stiles felt like he was missing a limb or something equally pathetic. He wanted to listen to country music, the music of pain, and just drink himself into a stupor but he couldn't do that. Instead he called Lydia and asked her about her latest boyfriend, she talked at him for over an hour, not about said boyfriend mainly about one of her study buddies, Logan, who Stiles thought she was developing a giant crush on, but just hearing from her made him feel a little better. Then she asked about Derek and he spent thirty minutes hypothesising about why the alpha was in such a bad mood.

Stiles' roommate had even commented on how down Stiles was and how much he had seen him. Neither of them were happy about any of it.

MJ took him to a bar on Tuesday night that didn't card and let him drink until he got maudlin and then took him home, shoved him into bed and smiled down at him before she told him that it would all get better and he would understand this one day. Then she kissed him on the forehead and disappeared.

Finally, Stiles had had enough and went to Derek's apartment. He didn't let himself in though knocking felt weird, wrong.

Derek opened the door and Stiles' stomach twisted; his alpha did not look right and he didn't know how to fix it.

"Stiles?"

"Derek. Can I come in?"

Derek looked hesitant but nodded and moved out of the way to let Stiles in. Stiles moved into the apartment and went to sit on the couch.

"Do you want something to drink?" Derek asked not waiting for an answer and moving straight into the kitchen.

"Sure, thanks."

Derek took a long time in the kitchen and Stiles tried to pretend he didn't smell the Jack Daniels in the glass Derek kept sipping from while he drank his own coke.

"Derek," Stiles had to stop when Derek's heavy green eyes landed on him. He knew the wolf was in pain from nothing more than the look in his eyes. "I'm not sure what's going on. I'm not sure what I did wrong. I know I have been spending too much time here. You need your space. I know you have your own life and you don't need to have me always around cramping your style. And I know that the fact I am here now makes everything I just said seem like a lie. I just couldn't stay away any more; the last three days have been hell. I need to fix this. Being apart is…it makes my chest hurt."

"It's being in a pack." Derek sounded so miserable Stiles just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. He would do anything, absolutely anything to stop Derek from being so sad.

"What?"

"Part of being in a pack, you all have a sense of the other members, how they feel. The alpha and your mate more than others but everyone to a certain extent. And you feel the need to be with your pack, have them close, especially when something is wrong. That's all you're feeling. It will get less hard to deal with as time passes." The more Derek spoke the more desolate he sounded and Stiles' chest knotted tighter and tighter with each word.

"No, I don't want time to pass, I don't want it to get easier I just want to fix what's wrong with us and go back to spending time together. I hate not hanging out with you. I hate it when you are mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you." Derek mumbled.

"Please tell me what's happening." Stiles knew he was begging, knew he sounded pathetic, but he just wanted to fix this.

"I just need some time."

"For what? From what? Derek, you are scaring me. I know I am acting like a girl, okay, so not Lydia, or Allison, but a stereotypical 'girl' and I don't care. I am babbling right. Derek, please I need to help you. I'm worried because you are depressed and you're my friend and I want to help. Please let me help."

"No." Derek growled. "You are only desperate because of the pack bonds and I am fine, I would be fine if you would just leave me alone!" Derek was almost yelling by the end of the sentence, his eyes electric blue. Derek stood suddenly, the glass of Jacks empty and his face half changed - the growl this time is deep and scary but also pained. Stiles stood quickly, stumbling, as he hurried to the door. He tripped over and slammed into the door knob, he knew instantly he'd done some damage to his wrist but he just needed to get out of there.

"Sorry, sorry. Bye. I won't bother you again."

Stiles pretended it was the rain when he got outside and slumped against the side of a building to cry. He pretended it was not him sobbing into his closed fist and he pretended the love of his life did not just rip the still beating heart from his chest. He pretended very hard for twenty minutes until he could stand by himself, he pretended there were not still tears running down his face as he walked towards his dorm. He pretended it was just trick of light when he caught sight of himself in a mirrored door to find he looked like he had been sucker punched one too many times. He pretended like crazy until he caught sight of his weirdly swollen wrist and then he could not pretend anymore. He sank down on a bench and cried, sobs, howls, his whole body quaking.

Everything he had come to depend on had been ripped out from under him in one sentence from Derek. Derek didn't want him in his life, which meant no more pack, no more Lydia to watch crappy movies with and eat too much popcorn, no more Jackson to beat at video games and gloat at until he wolfed out. No more belonging. He was alone. Again. Always. Forever.

He had his dad, knew even this would not remove Scott from his life but the pack was gone and Stiles didn't even know what he did wrong. Couldn't understand what he did to make Derek so angry. Even at the beginning when Derek had constantly threatened him, shoved him into walls and made him want to whimper he had never, never made Stiles feel so utterly worthless and unnecessary.

That's how MJ found him, she was out to get ice cream, and he was sitting on a bench cradling his swollen wrist with tears running down his cheeks mixing with the rain. He let her take him to the hospital and sit with him while he waited. He handed over his phone and told her Scott when she asked if she needed to call anyone, he doesn't see the surprised look on her face when he says Scott. Even though they have been on a few dates Stiles always knew it wasn't going to really go anywhere. When you are in love with the alpha wolf of your pack and every single fantasy and thought revolves around him then no one else is going to stack up. She was great, a distraction and now she is never going to want to see him again either.

It took Scott two hours. He arrived just as Stiles was taken back to see a doctor. When asked if he was family Scott said brother without skipping a beat and MJ told them she should go, she had a test the next morning but made Stiles primise to call her. Stiles figured she was just being polite.

Stiles didn't even realise how he must look until the doctor had left them to set up an x-ray and Scott leaned over gripped his shoulder and asked if the pain was really that bad. It was the first time Stiles had looked Scott in the eye and Scott gasped, he has only seen that look on Stiles once, long ago, but he could never, ever forget it. The day Stiles' mum died.

"What happened, Stiles?"

"Derek…all my fault. I am no longer pack. I don't even know." Stiles knew he was crying sgain but just couldn't stop it. He could not remember the last time he had cried. For sure he knows it was after his mum but since then…

"What?" Scott growled and Stiles automatically reached out and gripped his arm.

"I don't know. He wouldn't tell me, it's all my fault but he told me to leave. Never come back."

Before the doctor got back Scott received two phone calls, Jackson and Lydia, asking if Stiles was alright. Scott was quick on the phone explained something was wrong with Derek, that he kicked Stiles out of the pack. They both leave for Berkeley telling their teachers it's a family emergency. Stiles told Scott they shouldn't come he's not pack anymore but it just made Scott growl again.

When they know for sure his wrist is broken Scott calls Stiles' dad and tells him Stiles has a class the next day that he can't miss but that he'll drive him home tomorrow for the weekend to recuperate. Sheriff Stilinski was worried about his son but it's neither the first, nor likely the last, broken bone and Scott was visiting already so he had someone looking after him, would have anyway with Derek there as well.

When Stiles was discharged they walked outside to find Derek pacing in front of the doors. Stiles just walked past him, flinching away when Derek tried to stop him, lay a hand on his arm and check it out. Derek's face turned dark and hurt but Stiles couldn't see it and Scott was too pissed off to give Derek any leeway so he told him quickly the wrist was broken, he'd be fine, the rest of the pack was on the way and that they can handle it. Derek might want Stiles out of the pack but Scott will not give up without a fight.

Derek let Scott leave and went back to his apartment to finish his eighth bottle of Jacks. All his fucking fault.

Scott drove Stiles to the nearest decent motel, rented out a double room and put Stiles into one of the beds where he curled up and went to sleep. Scott wanted to go and demand an explanation from Derek but he could not leave Stiles yet.

Lydia arrived first; reeking of Derek. They sat off to the side and talk.

"Stiles is not out of the pack. Derek is being a dick. He's also so drunk he cannot stand. He told Stiles to leave, to leave him alone but given how he is acting at the moment he probably did imply Stiles was out. Stiles should know it's for life unless…he's always been too scared we will leave him because he isn't one of us." Lydia said making Scott feel slightly better.

"Is it all because…" Scott started, trailing off; not wanting to even finish the sentence.

"They are both oblivious bone heads who are pathetically, insanely in love with each other and too stupid and broken to have worked it out yet? Yep."

"I was going to say because of Mary Jane."

"Also yes. What was Stiles thinking?"

"That there is this lovely girl who is interested and the guy he really wants is straight or too good or just not interested, so...why not."

"They are both emotionally retarded five year olds." Lydia said with disgust.

"You must be talking about our fearless leader." Jackson said from the door. "How do we fix it? I could feel Derek's hurt from school."

"We all could dumbass." Scott said looking over at Stiles.

"We need to do something about this." Lydia stated.

"What? Derek is convinced Stiles is not interested, Stiles is convinced Derek isn't. Derek thinks if he lets someone in again something bad will happen. He is too stupid to a, think we would let it, and b, notice the stench of horny coming from Stiles all the time." Scott answered, this was not their first conversation about the topic but this was the first time this had all seemed so desperate.

"And now Stiles has a girlfriend." Jackson adds. "It's a good thing Derek isn't the possessive type." He earns a smirk from Scott but Lydia is still looking pensive.

"Okay, getting them to realise they love each other is not as important now as solving the problem of them not speaking and Derek being a pissy, jealous, self-destructive arse." Lydia said looking at the other betas then over to Stiles.

"What do we do?" Scott asked, wanting to fix this all desperately.

"It's already done. He will be here in as soon as Jackson goes and picks him up. Even a werewolf cannot sober up that fast." Lydia looked pleased with herself but Scott was concerned they might be rushing it.

"Is it a good idea to get him here when he is drunk? He has hurt Stiles enough already." He asked.

"We are here this time to rein in the nuts and when I was there he was so anxious about Stiles I had to stop him from coming over here before me. He cannot stand not being around if Stiles is hurt and he is blaming himself, which sure, his fault, but he does not need another thing to add to the list of reasons why he must be miserable and alone forever."

Jackson nodded and headed out to pick up their inebriated alpha.

When Derek arrived he completely ignored the three betas and sat next to Stiles; his hip pressed firmly into Stiles'. He picked up the damaged wrist to examine it as though he could see through the cast and skin down to the broken bone.

"He'll be fine." Lydia said reassuringly. Derek just growled.

Scott, Jackson, and Lydia sat back to wait. They couldn't do anything now until Stiles woke up and if anything now that Derek was here he was breathing deeper; more calm. Even more asleep than he was before.

As time passed the three betas watched their alpha succumb to the alcohol in his system and fall asleep only to curl his body around Stiles', still protectively holding his damaged wrist.

Jackson crawled into the other bed to nap after calling Danny and telling him everything was fine and reminding his friend about the assignment he needed handed in. Lydia went to get some food while Scott kept an eye on his best friend and his alpha.

When Stiles woke up he was so warm, the furnace behind him kept him drifting in a comfortable dreamy state he did not want to leave. He knew the smell surrounding him, Derek, so he knew he was safe. He just wriggled and went back to sleep happy to have Derek wrapped around him. Stiles woke up again an hour later still wrapped up in Derek but this time the alpha was awake and moved when he realised the human was also awake.

"Mmm, Derek." Stiles mumbled as Derek pulled away. "Derek!" Stiles opened his eyes and stared at Derek shocked. "What are you doing here?"

"You're hurt." Derek said, letting go of Stiles' injured wrist.

"You kicked me out of the pack."

"What?" Derek bellowed looking over at his betas surprised.

"Earlier, you told me to leave you alone, told me I was the problem. You kicked me out."

Derek's eyebrows knitted and he glowered at Stiles for a moment before speaking. "You are still in the pack. Nothing could change that."

"You told me that I was the problem. You told me to leave."

"I know."

Stiles looked over at Lydia, Scott, and Jackson who all looked back at him and shrugged. Stiles lifted his hand and slapped himself in the forehead not realising it was his injured hand. "Ow, ow, ow." He said rubbing his forehead with his other hand and glaring at the three beta wolves who laughed at him while Derek yanked his hand away from his forehead and looked at the red mark spreading across the skin there.

"Don't do that!" Derek growled.

"I didn't mean to do that!" Stiles muttered.

"Did you hurt your wrist as well?"

"No. Stop being nice!"

"Why?"

"Because you should not be nice; it makes it harder for me to be annoyed at you. You kicked me out of the pack a few hours ago. How can you now be worried because I broke a couple bones in my wrist?"

"I did not kick you out of the pack." Derek growled his fangs dropping and eyes shifting to electric blue. "Stop saying that. You are in this pack for life."

"Life?"

"Pack is for life, Stiles. You are pack for life."

"Then why the fuck did you kick me out of something I can't be kicked out of?" Stiles growled out doing an excellent imitation of Derek.

"I did not kick you out of the pack. I have stuff going on and I took it out on you. Sorry."

"You took it out on me? Oh, well, that's fine then. What are you having your period?" Lydia growled from behind him. "Sorry. Shit!"

Derek growled at him. "I am your alpha, you need to show me respect."

"Yeah, and you need to not be an arse."

"I am not an arse." Three betas behind him scoffed at him while Stiles glared at him. "Okay, so I could have handled this better. I did not want you to get hurt."

"It's my fault I'm accident prone."

"Was it when you ran out of my apartment because I growled at you?"

"No." Stiles lied.

"Werewolf. Do not lie to me."

"Fine, I did it on your door knob."

"Fuck, see what I mean." Derek turned to his three betas. "Never fucking forget this. You will hurt everyone you care about."

Stiles hit Derek in the head with his cast.

"Ow! What?"

"Kate! KATE FUCKING ARGENT killed your family. It had abso-fucking-lutely nothing to do with you. Sure she worked out who the wolves were because she manipulated you and basically acted like the psychopathic bitch she was but it is not your fault you did not know she wanted to murder your family. You were a teenager and she was a sociopath. Sociopaths are manipulative, evil bitches who take advantage of people without them knowing what is going on and then, bam, they murder you or in your case they murder your family. Laura had to have told you it is not your fucking fault." Stiles stopped yelling at Derek his chest heaving.

"I never told her."

Stiles hit him with the cast again.

"If you keep doing that you are going to break your cast." Jackson piped in.

"You never told your sister that you thought it was your fault that your entire family was murdered?" Stiles asked incredulously.

"No."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because, they were our parents. I didn't want her to know that I got them killed."

"You did not light the match. You did not come up with the plan. You didn't know what she was."

"I should have known. I should have been able to tell she was lying instead all I was able to think about was how much I wanted her."

Stiles sucked in a breath and swallowed harshly. "You were a teenager." Stiles said more quietly no longer yelling at Derek.

"But I should have known better I was raised to be alpha. I should have known better."

"Laura was older." Lydia said confused.

"She didn't want to be alpha. She wanted to be a doctor; it's too much of a responsibility to also have a job like that so I was raised to be alpha. Normally in a family the position of alpha is passed down by choice. Then they died and Laura was older so automatically became alpha and that was all my fault too, I ruined her life. She was stuck being alpha so she could never be a doctor as well. Our family was dead, Uncle Peter was in hospital and we had to leave everything we have ever known and it was all my fault."

"Why couldn't she pass it to you?" Scott asked.

"It has to be down a direct line since it passed to Laura it could only be passed to one of her children. That's why Peter didn't automatically become alpha." Derek explained.

"Do you really think she would blame you for something that Kate did?" Stiles asked quietly.

"Why wouldn't she?" Derek's eyes didn't leave Stiles' face and Stiles could see that he truly believed every word he was saying. "I have blamed myself every day since it happened."

Stiles opened and closed his mouth twice then just pushed himself over on the bed and wrapped his arms around Derek motioning the rest of the pack over. The three betas crawled onto the bed and curled themselves around the pair all touching Derek somewhere.

"It wasn't your fault, Derek, you made a bad choice in a girlfriend but her actions are not, have never been, your fault." Stiles whispered his head tucked between Derek's neck and Jackson's elbow.

"She chose to use you, she chose to find people who would hurt your family, and you did none of that." Lydia continued her arm wrapped around Derek's waist, he head resting on Scott's shoulder.

The other two betas were silent until Stiles bumped Jackson. "She was hot, even older, I'm sure it wasn't your fault she used her looks against you. She was a bad person; you could not have known what she was going to do." Jackson said getting pinched by Lydia for the hot comment before he found the right sentiment.

"One person cannot be responsible for what another person does. We make choices only for ourselves. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. You let Kate in but you did not make her kill your family."

"Oh my God, you guys are useless." Lydia muttered. "Derek, if Jackson got involved with someone who betrayed us would you blame Jackson or the person who betrayed us?"

"That really is different." Derek said from where he was stuck under his pack. "Is this really necessary?"

"Derek," Stiles started. "We are your pack now, right?"

"Yes."

"And a pack is basically a family, right?"

"Yes."

"So we are your family now, right."

"Yes."

"So as your family this is our way of telling you, you are not to blame for what Kate did, you do not hurt everyone you meet. You have not hurt me."

"Your wrist is broken." Derek argued. "That is my fault."

"Huh, I don't remember you grabbing my wrist and snapping it." Stiles said, unable to smack Derek again.

"I scared you, you ran away, and you hurt your wrist. My fault."

"I pushed you when you didn't want to talk, you asked me to leave. I hurt myself. My fault."

Derek growled in the middle of their group hug. "You don't understand."

"Well no, but you also don't understand. We are your family and we know it wasn't your fault." Stiles said.

"Do we have to keep hugging?" Jackson asked squirming even as the closeness of the pack pile was easing the tight feeling that was created in all of their chests by the pain the alpha had been feeling.

"No." Derek said starting to move.

"Wait." Stiles and Lydia said together.

"Ugh." Jackson said remaining where he was.

"Derek, we are not moving until you admit that Kate made the decision to hurt your family and that you had no actual control over what she did." Stiles said moving around to get comfortable.

"Stiles."

"Yes, Derek?"

"You are a pain in the arse."

"I know, and you will never throw me out of the pack so I can be as annoying as I need to be."

"You shouldn't have said anything, Derek." Jackson said. "He could go back to being worried we were going to kick him out of the pack because he isn't a werewolf."

"You thought you being human would matter?" Derek asked Stiles, pushing everyone away enough to turn his head.

"Well, human members of packs are rare, normally kept only to be omegas, to serve. Or if a member of the wolf family is born without the werewolf gene. So eventually either I would have to become one or I'd be out." Stiles shrugged moving almost every arm around him.

"You are an idiot." Derek muttered.

"Goddammit, Jackson, you couldn't have kept your mouth shut until we got him to admit something. Okay, everyone can let go now we are not going to get anywhere." Stiles said, pulling away knowing that Derek would not come back to the Kate topic now that he had something else to focus on. Scott shifted next to Stiles, moving to sit on the corner of the bed, Lydia crawling up to rest against the cushions, Jackson sat next to her letting his hand rest on her knee, Stiles pulling away to sit cross legged in the very middle of the bed while Derek settled back onto his part of the bed.

"Pack piles like that are usually used for healing." Derek muttered.

"Oh, that whole thing was designed for you to heal." Lydia said looking at Stiles.

Derek stared at Stiles for a moment, his head bent down, his broken wrist encased in a cast and his shoulders slumped.

"Stiles?" Stiles looked up at him. "Why the hell do you care when I have been treating you badly?"

"Because you are my family." Stiles said, staring Derek in the eye. "You are the family I choose."

Derek sat back, "I'm sorry I treated you so badly. I won't let it happen again." Derek said reaching a hand out to rest on Stiles' undamaged wrist.

"Okay," Stiles said with a weak smile.

"No!" Scott said from the corner. All eyes turned to him. "Stiles deserves better than that, he doesn't deserve to be treated badly. He deserves better." Scott said firmly.

"I agree." Derek said. "It won't happen again."

Scott was about to continue arguing for a better apology but Stiles grabbed his wrist and stared him in the eye communicating with him as you only can with the man who you have been friends with most of your life to leave it alone this time. If it happened again then Scott could wolf out and protect him as much as he wanted.

"It's okay." Stiles said, just as Scott's phone goes off. He grabbed it and looks down at the alarm.

"Either we check out or someone needs to pay for another day." Scott announced.

"We'll go back to my place. You three check us out. I want to talk to Stiles for a moment." Derek instructed his pack.

When everyone had left, Derek walked Stiles into the elevator and pressed the button for the roof. Stiles watched the numbers go up while he waited for whatever Derek was going to say.

"I wasn't strong enough to protect them." Derek said quietly.

"You were a teenager, you have protected us repeatedly. You have kept me alive more times than I can count."

"I am the reason you are in danger."

"No, I am the reason I am in danger. The night Scott was bitten I thought I was protecting him from getting into trouble but I was just leaving him alone for the alpha. I had no idea, but part of the reason Scott is a wolf is because I pulled him out that night. I took him into the woods. So it is up to me to make sure he is safe. He is my brother, in every way that really counts, so I will gladly walk into danger for him. And now I would gladly walk into danger for any of you. I choose to be a part of this. You asked me once if I wanted to be part of the pack and I said yes. I knew what I was saying yes to. Sure, some things have come as a surprise but I chose this." They had reached the roof. They waited for the elevator doors to close before Stiles pressed the button for the lobby. "If you don't accept that you had no control over what Kate did you will never let yourself be happy; I just want you to be happy. You are part of my family, Derek."

"I might not have had any control over what she did to them but I bought her into my house, my family. I let her in, told her everything she needed to know. I showed her the basement where they started the fire, I snuck her into the house using the route they used to get in."

"Did you know what she was going to do?"

"No."

"Then it is not your fault she took advantage of you. I believe that if your family were here they would say the same thing." The elevator doors opened and they both stood there for a moment still not looking at each other.

"Okay." Derek conceded. "It's not all my fault."

"I'll take that." Stiles said turning to smile at Derek softly. "Come on, I have a class this afternoon. I am catching a lift with Scott. We need to talk."

Stiles walked from the elevator with Derek trailing slowly behind him. "You are my family now too, Stiles." Derek whispered into the void unheard by the man walking towards the sunshine outside.

Stiles climbed into Scott's little blue car and Derek got into Jackson's all three cars pulling away and heading for the alpha's apartment.

"Scott," Stiles said after a while.

"He should have to do more than just apologise. He doesn't realise what he did to you. I saw the look on your face at the hospital, Stiles. I never wanted to see you look like that again."

"I know."

"You are letting him get away with too much because you're in love with him." Scott said annoyed.

"Listen, Scott. He hasn't been himself lately. I don't know what was wrong with him but the way he looked; it was like when we first met him. He looked hollow and miserable. He didn't look like that today. I have faith in him. He won't do it again."

"If he hurts you like that again I am going to rip his fucking arm off." Scott swore and then parked in some random street parking so he could turn and look at Stiles.

"That seems fair." Stiles said. "I know I am letting him off easily. But I just can't make him look like that again. The last few days being apart they made me feel like someone had ripped my chest open. If he makes a habit of treating me like crap I will happily hold him down...okay, strap him down so you can remove body parts. But he has not treated me badly in years. He has not been mean to me, threatened me in years. Not since before he became the alpha."

"But if he is mean to you again."

"One armed alpha." Stiles agreed with a grin. He wasn't worried; he had faith in Derek.

"Okay, but you deserve better, Stiles."

"Oh yeah, what do I deserve?" Stiles asked when Scott pulled back onto the road.

"Someone who loves you back," Scott said, adding silently. "Who is not afraid to say something?"

"I really do, I also deserve ice cream."

"With marshmallows and chocolate chips." Scott threw in.

"And chocolate sauce."

"And jelly beans."

By the time they parked near Derek's apartment the chocolate sundae was full of every lolly and chocolate known to man and the idea of it alone could have sent them into sugar shock.

Derek was waiting at the open door when they get inside. "You took a long time, why?"

"Scott and I stopped to have a chat." Stiles said moving into the lounge room, the pack trailing behind him.

When the pack was all sitting in Derek's lounge room Stiles decided he needed a shower before his class. Lydia gleefully wrapped his arm in glad wrap, then a rubbish bag secured with masking tape that was going to hurt like a bitch when they took it off but they had nothing else to use. Stiles' arm looked ridiculous but he shrugged and made his way into the shower while Derek went into the kitchen and started making lunch for the pack. Scott trailed behind him soon after.

"Derek?"

"Yes, Scott."

"You are my alpha and I respect that so please take this in the way it is intended."

"I already know, Scott."

"But I need to say it. If you treat him like that again I will do something about it. It will not be pleasant and the fact you are my alpha won't matter to me. Stiles lets himself be treated badly for the people he loves. He loves this pack, he loves you as well." Scott knew Derek was so oblivious he'd take the more innocuous meaning. "He will allow himself to be taken for granted, he will allow people to treat him worse than he deserves. I know I have been guilty of it over the years but he is my brother, in all the ways that matter, and I will not allow anyone to treat him badly anymore."

"Scott." Derek turned to look at Scott, catching his eye deliberately keeping the wolf deep, deep down. "I won't treat him like that again. I will protect him, he is part of my pack and I will make sure he is treated the way he deserves."

"Good. What are we making?" Scott left the conversation there. Now they both knew where they stood.

"Scrambled eggs, French toast. Stiles' favourite breakfast."

"Good choice, I'll get the toast organised." Scott reached for the necessary ingredients.

Derek turned as well with the hint of a smile. He was glad that Scott was willing to stand up for his best friend, knowing someone else was constantly looking out for Stiles as well always made Derek feel better.

"I'm curious about something." Scott said a few minutes later when he has moved in front of the stove. "How did you know he was at the hospital?"

"He texted me. Told me he was hurt and at the hospital. When I got there ... I didn't go in, I waited for him. Then he didn't want to speak to me. I don't know why he even let me know he was there."

"I didn't message you." Stiles threw into the conversation from where he stood in the doorway wearing an oversized pair of track pants and a Beacon Hills Lacrosse team shirt. "MJ must have sent it when she called Scott."

Derek kept his back to Stiles. "That was nice of her."

"She is a nice girl. Good friend."

"Friend?" Scott asked handing Stiles the glass of juice he poured for him.

"Yes." Stiles said slowly, looking at Scott strangely.

"Just a friend?" Jackson added from behind him.

"Yep." Stiles said. "What are you cooking?"

"Scrambled eggs with French toast." Derek said without turning around.

"Excellent." Stiles moved over and broke a piece of the French toast. "Thank you, Derek."

"You're welcome, go and sit down you are supposed to be resting."

"I have a class this afternoon."

"I call dibs on taking you." Lydia called from the lounge room.

"I can take myself."

"No, Lydia is going with you." Derek said, pulling out his Alpha voice.

"Why?"

"Your wrist is broken and you might need help with something so Lydia is going with you. Deal with it." Derek shooed Stiles from the kitchen and when he was sitting on the couch Derek put his plate down on his lap and then dropped down next to him allowing his body to press snugly against the entirety of Stiles' left side.

"Fine. What about you? Aren't you eating?" Stiles asked.

"Later. Eat." Derek dropped his head back to rest against the couch and closed his eyes while Stiles started eating.

The three beta wolves got up to go and get their breakfast. "Leave enough for Derek." Stiles ordered.

"Yes, Stiles," came the chorus of voices from the kitchen.

Derek was grinning when Stiles looked at him; watching how much more calm the man was now they were all home. "Eat, Stiles."

"Yes, Sir." Stiles quipped getting back to his food.

Three hours later Lydia and Stiles walked out the door heading to his class. They made it to the end of the street before Lydia grabbed Stiles' elbow and stopped him.

"Is MJ in this class?"

"Yes, why?"

"I want to meet this girl."

"This is going to be bad, isn't it?" Stiles mumbled as they started walking again.

"No." Lydia laughed.

"Tell me about Logan." Stiles changed the subject.

"He's smart. Really smart, he is a theoretical physics student. He's cute; he has the most beautiful eyes."

"Has he asked you out yet?"

"No. I don't think he is going to."

"Why not?" Stiles asked.

"I just get the feeling he isn't interested. We hang out and we study together sometimes and I thought there was something there but he avoids any discussion of anything more than just being friends. So I have decided to just let it go and move on."

"Okay."

"I don't mind, not really. It's not like I was in love with him or anything."

"Okay."

"I mean I think about kissing him sometimes and it makes me blush even though I have no idea if he'd even be any good at it. Plus he's lovely to talk to." Lydia's voice was soft and dreamy, and Stiles wanted desperately to meet the man who had caused this change in her.

"I want to meet Logan."

"Never."

"Just me. No Scott, or Derek or Jackson. Just little old me. I'm lovely. I promise to say nothing but hello."

"No. None of you." Lydia said forcefully.

"Fine, this is my class. What are you going to do while I'm in there?"

"Be in there with you." Lydia said with an easy grin.

"If you get to meet MJ, I should get to meet Logan."

"No. Come on." Lydia stepped into the lecture theatre waiting for Stiles to come in and find a seat. "Where do you sit?"

Stiles sighed. "Come on." Stiles moved down towards the middle of the room spotting MJ, Christopher and Michael who he sat with in this class. "Hey, guys." Stiles said when he sat down. "Lydia this is MJ, Christopher and Michael. Guys this is my friend Lydia. She thought I might need a slave since I broke my wrist."

"MJ was telling us you might not be here since you were in the hospital yesterday."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Stiles blushed lightly. "Thanks so much for taking me to the hospital. And calling Scott."

"And texting Derek." Lydia pipped in unable to stop herself.

"Yeah, I know you didn't ask me to but I know how close you are."

"Thanks."

"How'd you hurt yourself?" Christopher asked.

"I slammed my wrist into a door knob."

"And it broke?" Christopher looked sceptical.

"Yep. Apparently I did an awesome job of breaking it too. Doctor said I was lucky not to have to have surgery."

"Ouch, how long will you have the cast?" MJ asked.

"Three months."

"Wow, you did a good job." Michael threw in.

"Yep, my dad is going to be so proud." Stiles nodded grinning.

"Well, really, why wouldn't he be? Nothing like an accident prone son." MJ laughed just before the professor walked in.

When the class was over Lydia lifted her head from Stiles' shoulder and whispered in his ear. "My God that man is boring. How do you stay awake?"

"Sheer force of will. We tape the lectures and get together to listen and chat and work out what we missed in the actual class."

"You are smart, Stiles. Ingenious." Lydia complemented.

"I know. Michael and Christopher have crushes on you already; they kept staring at you on my shoulder." Stiles whispered back as the other three packed up their things.

"Coffee?" Christopher asked hopefully.

"We always go for coffee afterwards. Just because Stiles is now handicapped doesn't mean he suddenly doesn't want to come with us to complain about Professor Davidson plus we need to get to know Lydia." Michael said grabbing the tape recorder off Stiles' desk and his bag before standing and gesturing for the two pack mates to precede him out of the room. Stiles laughed following him, throwing an arm over Lydia's shoulder and leaning down to continue their whispered conversation.

"See, they think you're pretty and want to get to know you."

"Well, have you seen me, I'm hot."

"Smoking, I used to think you were the bee's knees."

"What happened?" Lydia said forlornly. "Why am I no longer the bee's knees?"

"Because I came to the realisation that as awesome as you are, and that is very freaking awesome, you are my friend not the girl I want to worship until I die."

Lydia sighed and dropped her head onto his shoulder. "Alas, I think you would be great at worshipping me for the rest of time."

"I am excellent at the worship. But could you see us dating?"

Lydia scrunched up her nose. "No, probably we are friends who were never meant to date."

"What are you two whispering about?" MJ asked when they were standing in the line ready to order.

"Stiles' undying love for me and why we would never work out." Lydia said with a wide smile making both Christopher and Michael grin at her.

"You never mentioned that you had undying love for Lydia." MJ smiled.

"Come and sit, I'm not sure introducing the two of you was one of my best ideas." Stiles sighed before leading the group to a table. "I don't have undying love for Lydia. It was a crush in school, she is delusional and one of my best friends."

Lydia moved away from Stiles and sat next to MJ where they began chatting quietly. Stiles kept an ear on them but without super special werewolf hearing there was no chance he was going to be able to hear what they were actually saying. Two cups of coffee were spent watching Lydia and MJ chat and pretending to talk to the two other guys at his table who were busy watching Lydia and ignoring him. After he finished his second cup he went over and asked MJ to come outside with him; leaving Lydia to fend off advances from his two friends.

"MJ, there is something I want to talk to you about."

"Last night, right?"

"Well, I wanted to thank you for your help last night I wasn't really myself, I don't really remember a lot of the time we spent waiting but I really appreciate the way that you took me to the hospital and sat with me and thanks for letting Derek know."

"You two sorted things out?"

"Yeah, big misunderstanding."

"Like the fact you're in love with him and he doesn't know."

"I-" Stiles started to argue but given the look in MJ's face he knows it's pointless. "I'm so sorry, I never meant. I thought-I really like you."

"I really like you too, but we are just going to be friends."

"That's my line."

"I figured that's what you wanted to talk about. We are still going to hang out, right?"

"Of course. I.." Stiles stopped not wanting to finish the thought.

"You thought you could try to move on."

"Yeah, are you psychic?"

"I realised you liked him when you were telling me about him the other day and then at dinner and then last night. You know he loves you too right?"

"No. Derek is...Derek is just, he's protective and my friend but he's not...he is never going to. It's not something. Derek isn't in love with me." Stiles face was red, his voice an octave too high and he knew for a fact that he was not going to be able to form a coherent argument at all. MJ might get him but she didn't understand Derek.

"I thought so."

"What?" Stiles was confused and had no idea what the hell was going on. He had never actually told anyone that he had feelings for Derek, Scott knew but he told Stiles and just laughed when Stiles feebly denied it until he caved and nodded, he'd never actually said the words aloud to anyone, and she knew and, oh God, what if Derek worked it out. "Derek doesn't know I'm in love with him, right?" Stiles breath was coming a little too quickly. If Derek worked out he was in love with him it would all end and they wouldn't be able to hang out anymore and then he'd be awkward and sure he couldn't be kicked out of the pack but still it would be mortifying and...

MJ grabbed Stiles' hand. "Derek has no idea Stiles, relax."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, as positive about that as I am about the fact that you are in love with him. He's as blind as a bat, darling."

"Okay," Stiles eyes drop down. "Sorry."

"You are so cute."

"Kill me now." Stiles said dropping his head onto MJ's shoulder. "Cute is never going to get me laid."

MJ laughed so hard she folded in two. When she finally calmed down she continued to grin at Stiles. "Telling Derek you're in love with him will get you laid."

Stiles' face turned immediately red. "Oh God." He moaned.

"So cute."

"You seemed so sweet." Stiles grumbled before slinging an arm around MJ. "Now I see I was deceived and you are actually evil. It's always the cute ones I have crushes on."

"Stiles, if you were not in love with Derek I could easily fall in love with you." MJ said leading them back over to the coffee house where Christopher and Michael were captivated by Lydia.

"Sure, sure. Thanks MJ I was worried you were going to hate me for misleading you."

"You weren't misleading me; you were trying to mislead yourself." MJ shrugged leaning up to kiss his cheek.

When they got back to the table, Lydia stood up, "I have now had three text messages from Jackson, two missed calls from Scott and a call from Derek as well as two text messages asking where we are. We need to get back before they call in the cops."

MJ laughed. "You oblivious fool." She muttered beneath her breath making Lydia hide a smile behind her hair as she reached around for her and Stiles' bags.

"It was lovely to meet you, MJ, hopefully we will see each other again. Christopher, Michael, it was nice to meet you as well."

"Bye, Lydia, see you next week Stiles." MJ said, grabbing her bag and the boys who parroted their goodbyes before dragging them from the coffee shop.

Stiles grabbed his bag from Lydia and slung it across his chest. "Let's go."

"So that was MJ." Lydia said with glee.

"After the cast comes off I am driving to Caltech and meeting Logan." Stiles grumbled.

"I like her."

"So do I, but we are not going to see each other anymore. We are just going to be friends." Stiles shrugged sliding an arm around Lydia's shoulders.

"How do you feel?" Lydia asked, stopping to wrap her arms around Stiles in a tight hug.

"Relieved, a little actually. I was going to tell her that we needed to just be friends. I really like her. But...there is someone else who I have feelings for and she deserves better than someone who is trying desperately not to be in love with someone who is not her." Stiles said into her hair.

"You are an amazing man, Stiles."

"That is the consensus today. But, alas, the person I want to notice me doesn't."

Lydia hugged Stiles tighter wanting to save him from being sad hearing it in the way he was speaking, in his tone and even in his heartbeat which made no sense. "You deserve to be happy and you will be, Stiles, trust me."

"I am in love with Derek." Stiles whispered barely making a sound.

Lydia pulled away from Stiles.

"Don't...don't say anything. Don't tell anyone. I know it'll never happen. I know it will never work and I know that I need to get over him but I don't know how. So can we just pretend that you still don't know and I'll pretend I didn't tell you? Okay?"

"Okay." Lydia said, grabbing his hand and continuing off campus to Derek's apartment. They walked quietly the rest of the way there.

Stiles unlocked the door, the doorknob disappearing out of his hand before he could open it. Derek was standing on the other side. "Derek, hey."

"You should have been here an hour and a half ago." Derek growled.

"We went for coffee with some people from class." Stiles said as Derek scented him and then scowled and stalked back into the apartment before turning suddenly and coming back to Stiles with a forced smile on his face.

"Are you okay? Is your wrist sore?"

"Not sore, but I'm tired."

"Come on." Derek said grabbing his uninjured wrist and pulling him into the apartment and then through to the living room. "Sit down and rest." Derek handed him the remote and then pointed around the room. "Water," he pointed to Jackson. "Sandwich," he pointed to Scott. "Something else," pointing at Lydia.

The three scurried off. "I can get things for myself you know." Stiles said getting comfortable on the couch.

"Let them take care of you for a change." Derek said, sitting down at Stiles' side.

"Are you okay? You look distracted." Stiles asked, turning to look at him.

"Nope, what are we watching?"

"Don't know, let's see what's on." Stiles turned the TV on letting his body curl into Derek's a little.

Lydia made sure she was sitting in the kitchen where Derek would be able to hear them before she started talking. "Stiles and Mary Jane aren't dating anymore."

"Really?" Scott asked.

"Stiles told her that he really likes her but they should be friends. She agreed and said she knew that he was an amazing guy and that she was sorry that they didn't work out but that they had to keep hanging out." Lydia confided planning on sharing the rest of her gossip later.

"That sucks for Stiles." Jackson said.

"I don't think so, he liked her. They had fun but I don't think there was anything more. Apparently if you don't put yourself out there then you have no chance of actually being in a relationship." Scott could hear Derek in the lounge room listening to them intently.

"I put myself out there all the time." Jackson preened.

"We know." Linda said slapping him upside the head.

"I don't need to put myself out there, I have Allison." Scott said with dreamy eyes.

"God, you disgust me. In fact both of you disgust me." Lydia said rolling her eyes.

"Why aren't you putting yourself out there more?" Jackson asked slinging an arm around her shoulders. "You deserve to have some boys trailing behind you with sad, little, puppy dog eyes."

Lydia elbowed him in the stomach. "I do, but since most of the guys I go to school with are extras from Big Bang Theory I don't have many options. There are a couple of professors..."

"You cannot date a professor!" Jackson said pulling her around to look at him.

"Why not?" Lydia asked hiding her smirk. It was insane how protective Jackson was of her now. He had never been this sweet when they were dating which is exactly why they had never worked and why they would never, ever again date.

"Professors are old and just want to take advantage of young, innocent women."

"I'm not young or innocent. I'm a werewolf who can take care of herself." Lydia grinned lifted her chin in defiance.

"Course you can." Stiles said coming into the kitchen to get a drink. "But Jackson is right; don't get involved with a professor."

"I never intended to, if I had one who looked like Sheldon I would, but, all of mine are old and not hot."

"You think Sheldon is hot?" Jackson asked pulling the juice bottle out of Stiles' hand to open it.

"I can do that myself. I can see where people would think he was attractive." Stiles watched Jackson wave him off and then pour him a drink and put it on the table. "I am not an invalid. It's not even the first time I have had to deal with having only one arm. I broke my arm when I was eleven."

"You got very good at doing everything one handed; you even kept riding your bike." Scott said sitting with Stiles and stealing his juice while he was distracted.

"Scott!" Stiles stood up to get another drink and a packet of chips from the cupboard to drop onto the table in front of the two wolves who tore into them.

Derek came into the kitchen moments later with a grin on his face. Lydia smirked at him as he dropped into the seat next to Stiles and slung an arm along the back of his chair. Stiles handed him a pile of chips with a smile. "When do you guys have to head home?"

"I promised your dad you were coming back for the weekend. We'll leave in the morning." Scott said.

"Are you two coming?" Stiles asked Jackson and Lydia who both nodded.

"'Course."

"Excellent. We can have a movie night at Derek's. Allison can come. Is she going to come home too?"

"Yeah, she said she is coming home since she has no Tuesday class next week. She was already coming," Scott grinned.

"Excellent, Saturday night I expect all of you to be at Derek's." Stiles said firmly.

"Do I get any say in this?" Derek asked pressing closer in next to Stiles while the three betas watched amused.

"No...if you don't want us to come over, we won't." Stiles pouted.

"Of course you can come over."

Stiles grinned at him. "6?"

He got three nods and one lack of a glare so he figured that the time was set.

"What are we doing tonight?" Lydia asked taking the final seat at the table.

Stiles caught Scott's eye, the werewolf shaking his head emphatically.

"What?" Jackson asked.

"Well, I know what I would love to do tonight." Stiles said grinning widely and evilly.

"Oh God." Scott said his head thumping down on the table in front of him.

"This is going to be bad, isn't it?" Jackson asked knowing they would be doing it regardless because Stiles wanted to and he was hurt and Derek was desperately trying to make up for kicking Stiles out of the pack.

"Monopoly!" Stiles said with glee.

"Okay." Derek said, "but I don't have monopoly."

"Yes, you do." Stiles said.

"No, I don't." Derek said firmly.

"You totally do," Stiles shot up and moved into the spare room where Stiles slept whenever he crashed here. Derek followed behind him.

Stiles opened the closet, pushed aside the few clothes he had hanging in there and then grabbed the brown paper bag at the back of the closet. Stiles pulled a box from the bag and then hid the bag back in the closet.

"You hid monopoly in the closet?" Derek asked.

"Yep. So I am thinking monopoly, pizza and ice cream."

"Okay what else was in the bag?" Derek asked as Stiles pulled him from the room.

"Nothing, come on." Stiles dragged Derek back into the kitchen and dropped the game on the table before reclaiming his seat.

That night the pack played monopoly, Stiles slaughtered everyone sending them to the poor house and bankruptcy before they all admitted defeat and Stiles got to preen during the movie and pizza.

The next morning they all got up early to drive home to Beacon Hills, Derek driving Stiles, the other three taking their cars so they could get back to school after the weekend was over.

When the five of them were in the car on the highway home Lydia waited until Derek was a decent way ahead of them before she indicated to a parking area watching to make sure Jackson and Scott were following her. Moments later she was out of the car with Jackson and Scott looking at her questioningly.

"What?" Jackson asked.

"I didn't tell you everything."

"Well, obviously." Scott muttered. "What happened?"

"MJ and Stiles went off to have a chat and Stiles didn't go far enough away for me not to hear."

"He does that deliberately." Scott said.

"I know. Do you want to know what I heard?" Lydia turned her superior stare on Scott and he grinned at her before nodding.

"Tell us." Jackson prompted her sitting on the boot of Scott's car, Scott joined him and Lydia smiled at her captive audience.

"Well I chatted to her for a while. She is really nice and would be perfect for Stiles if he wasn't in love with Derek. But the awesome thing is that she worked out that Stiles is in love with Derek and called him on it. He blushed and it was so cute. Then she told him he should tell Derek because the man was obviously in love with Stiles as well. Stiles scoffed at her but for a moment he looked so bloody hopeful. Anyway she told him he was amazing and she wanted to be his friend and that she hoped he would be happy."

"That's it?" Jackson asked.

"You have no soul." Lydia bemoaned. "No, that's not all. On the walk back to the apartment Stiles told me about the conversation. Then he told me he was in love with Derek."

"He admitted to being in love with Derek?" Scott asked surprised. Scott knew and Stiles knew he knew, he'd worked it out, called Stiles on it one day but Stiles had never actually said the words to him. Never admitted it with anything more than a nod of his head or a lack of denial.

"Yes, he said nothing was ever going to happen. He knew that Derek was not interested but that MJ was right and that he was in love with him. Then he swore me to secrecy."

"And you did such a good job of keeping that promise." Jackson said.

"God, I wish Allison was here." Lydia sighed.

"She had a huge test." Scott explained again.

"I know. But she would be much better to discuss this with than either of you heathens."

"We know this is big, Lydia." Jackson said giving her a hug. "They'll get there eventually. If not, we'll lock them in a room and just see how long it takes for them to go at it."

Lydia laughed at him before returning the hug. "I'm finding Allison as soon as we get home. We need to get going before Derek notices something."

Scott growled at Lydia. "No, Stiles gossip can wait." The beta said firmly. Lydia laughed all the way to the car.

Lydia, Scott and Jackson got back into their cars and drove to Beacon Hills and their pack home.

**TBC...**


	5. James

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to the people who review, especially Dereksgirl24, Roxie I do byte, hbrackett, twilightmecrazii, Omega696, ShadowKnight, lowlifetheory, dreamer2322, havemy_heart and xXxAthaelaxXx who reply all the time I really appreciate it. I am sorry if you do and I missed you.
> 
> This is pure stupidity, a bit of fluff and humour after the last one and a set up for the next chapter, which is going to be from Derek's POV. Please understand that the next update will not be so swift but I am working on it.

**05 - James**

"Hey, Dude." Stiles let himself into Derek's apartment, threw his jacket on the back on the chair and headed straight for the kitchen and an afternoon snack. "So, I had my first class for journalism for the year. I have Professor Davidson again. The man was bad enough last year but he seems to get more boring the harder the stuff he's teaching gets. I am going to bash my head aga-" Stiles was pulled back from the fridge suddenly and Derek was sniffing him. "What? Derek? What's wrong?"

"You smell wrong."

"Wrong?" Stiles was freaked now, wrong could mean any number of things.

"You reek of that boy."

"Huh?"

"That boy you are living with. You smell of him, why?" Derek was growling now, right next to Stiles' ear which was exactly what Stiles did not need. Moving out here and having Derek as his constant companion had not helped Stiles in any way. Maybe if Derek hadn't come to finish his degree, or maybe if he wasn't so insistent that they remain close. If Stiles were honest with himself he was so in love with Derek by this point nothing could change how he felt. He mum used to say Stilinski men loved once and loved hard. She used to tell him sometimes when he would wrap his body around her and tell her how much he loved her that he was just like his daddy, when he met her he proposed and just kept asking until she had said yes. It took three weeks.

"I had to borrow his soap; he used mine for something in chemistry. He is such an arsehole." Stiles thought Derek would move away after that but he didn't.

"I do not like this smell. Go have a shower." Derek growled.

"Seriously?"

Derek stepped back. "I have a very sensitive nose."

"Oh," Stiles slapped his palm into his face. "Course. I'll come back later."

"No!" Derek wasn't looking at him anymore but his hands were clenched.

"Dude, okay. Sorry. Shit, I didn't know. I'll just shower here. Sorry." Stiles scurried from the room eager to get rid of the smell that was pissing the wolf off so much; idly wondering which of the scents used in the soap was the problem; so he could avoid it next time. He didn't normally use body wash just soap so maybe it was just the liquid soap.

Stiles stripped and looked at his clothes, they would smell too; he threw them in the washing machine just outside the door glad Derek didn't catch his naked dash, he didn't want to get any more of the scent on anything of Derek's. He dashed back into the bathroom and ducked into the hot shower. He stood under the spray for a long time, before he grabbed Derek's soap and lathered himself from head to toe figuring that the wolf's soap would not bother him. He lathered and washed three times until his body was red and pruny before he got out of the shower. He pulled one of Derek's towels around his body, he hadn't thought to bring one of his own but it looked fairly clean and he could wash it.

When he was dry and wrapped in Derek's towel he realised he was not prepared to actually leave the bathroom. He had no clothes; he'd taken all of his clothes home over the summer and hadn't bought anything new back yet. If he left the room in nothing but a towel he would be unable to hide his reaction to Derek. Crap, why did he keep putting himself in situations where he was likely to make a complete and utter fool of himself.

He walked out of the bathroom wishing he was buffer, wishing he had some muscles. Just once he would have liked to have stood next to Derek and not felt so damned scrawny. He didn't feel scrawny normally, years of werewolf training, had given him tone, but he never filled out. Not that he minded, okay not that he minded except when Derek saw him shirtless.

Derek was in the kitchen cooking something when Stiles walked in. "Derek? I'm washing my clothes but umm, can I borrow something to wear?"

Derek turned the heat down on what he was cooking and came over to Stiles and sniffed at him, after walking around Stiles twice and sniffing him repeatedly while Stiles recited all the elements he could remember Derek seemed to purr. It was the only thing Stiles could compare the noise the werewolf made to. Derek purred then moved away and walked into his bedroom. Stiles stayed at the door not sure if he could walk into a room with Derek's huge bed and not just crawl on, present himself to Derek, and beg to be fucked.

Derek found some sweat pants and an old soft top and threw them at Stiles. "They should fit. Make sure you don't use his soap again."

"Nope, I'll buy a stockpile of soap and hide it under my bed."

"Why don't you just move in here already?"

The first time Derek asked that question was the first week of last year when Stiles had to explain to him why he smelt like he had participated in a three-way. Werewolf noses were too sensitive if they could pick the stench of sex from where you had accidently fallen on your roommate's bed after he has been getting frisky with his chastity club girlfriend. Every time the same thought went through Stiles' head. _Because if I lived here you'd find me crawling into your bed and attacking you one night because I really want you to fuck me. A lot, repeatedly, for days. Until I cannot walk._ Stiles never actually told him that though, just shrugged and mumbled something about the college experience. He was sick of living with James though. The other man stayed up all night studying and he needed to click his pen 'to think properly man, just like calm down'. He always smoked pot in the room and it made Stiles sneeze. He also liked to use a really bad British accent when he was high. He never wore pants. He stole Stiles' stuff, never asked, and never replaced anything. And now he had made Stiles' alpha have an allergic reaction to the smell of his body wash, fucking with him was one thing but making him smell hideous to werewolves was another. It had only been two weeks and Stiles was about to shoot his roommate in the head, or sic his werewolf on him.

The idea of living with Derek had always appealed to him. He had wanted to say yes and move in straight away, every time he was asked; the only thing stopping him was the idea of having to spend the next three years hiding his reaction to Derek every moment of every day. He didn't know how he was going to resist making a fool of himself. However, the idea of living with James for a year was a fair worse fate than making a complete fool of himself by throwing himself at Derek.

"Okay."

"What?"

"Yes, I'll move in here, if you are serious."

"Good, we'll move you in tomorrow. You don't have classes and I only have a late one."

"Excellent." Derek grinned at him, flashing all his bright, white human teeth and making Stiles respond in kind. This would be okay, Stiles' had been hiding his attraction for three years he could keep doing it for another three.

Stiles moved into what would be his room and changed. This was going to be good.

Derek was in a great mood for the rest of the day after Stiles washed James' soap smell off him and agreed to move in.

**TBC…**


	6. Joshua

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well….put your hand up if you assumed I would never finish this?  
> I've been trying to write this for years and a couple of weeks ago all of a sudden my muse was back and I was able to write it. I was so worried I wouldn't get it finished but I finally did. Yay!  
> I am almost certain I've lost the general thrust that this story started with since the explaining isn't really done by Derek but it's close. After all it's basically become a 13+1 now. Plus some more at the end.  
> Thank you to anyone who has stuck with me and still reads this last part. To all of the people who encouraged me along the way as well I really appreciate it.  
> I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. I'm so pleased it's finally written but also sad that it's over. Thank you again and enjoy!

**Five Times Derek Growled At Stiles And One Time He Explained**  
by Moonbeam

**+1.0 – Joshua**

_"Stiles!" Stiles knew the voice and it was not coming from Scott even as his best friend reached out and touched him. Stiles looked down to see what Scott was doing to find his abdomen wet with blood…the drips hitting the floor beneath him._

_"Stiles!" Derek's scream was the last thing Stiles heard as he hit the ground._

/\/\/\

Joshua slid his memory card into the computer while the camera battery was recharging.

The photos started coming up and he clicked on the first one so that he could start adding to his notes. His father had always told him that the most important thing about hunting was to know your target; their strengths, weaknesses, habits, and preferences. Joshua had been tracking this man for a month and he was certain that he was dealing with a werewolf.

Joshua looked at the two timetables he'd hacked into the university servers to download. He knew when both would be out of the house and the best time to test them. He was certain they were werewolves but he had to _know_ before he could move his plan along. He flicked through the rest of the pictures, he couldn't be sure if the younger of the two men, Stiles, was the other's, Derek's, mate or not. Joshua kept catching him with other people, one woman in particular, who he seemed to be either involved with or who he simply spent a lot of time flirting with. In Joshua's experience werewolves were possessive and territorial of their partners but he hadn't seen Derek possessive enough for Stiles to be his mate and yet there was definitely an air of relationship about the two of them as well. There were too many questions about these two and Joshua hated unanswered questions.

Joshua made himself something to drink and set himself to planning their first meeting.

/\/\/\

Joshua checked the hallway again before he knocked. The apartment wasn't normal student housing, close by but too expensive for most students so he was fairly certain none of the other tenants would be around during the middle of a work day. He waited patiently even as his fingers itched to reach into his pocket and grab his water pistol. The younger of the two men came to the door first and Joshua stared at him.

"Hello?" The possible werewolf, Stiles, asked.

"Are you Stiles Stilinski?" Joshua asked focussing on the man in front of him and trying to keep an eye on the space behind him. They should both be there but the older man hadn't come out.

"Yes." That was all Joshua needed to know, he could hear Stiles continuing as he pulled the water pistol out of his pocket and shot…the man spat the water out, glared at him, questioned his intentions but he didn't growl or howl and he didn't react like a werewolf. Joshua frowned and began questioning his research when Derek appeared.

"Derek Hale?" Joshua asked just to be sure even though his face matched all the surveillance photographs and Joshua had been following him for a month. Stiles reached out for Derek but the older man said yes before the human was able to stop him and Joshua shot him as Stiles was able to warn him.

Derek reacted as expected; he was definitely a werewolf. Joshua's research was right. Though it did pose the question of what a werewolf was doing with a human who wasn't treated as an omega and wasn't family. Joshua had never seen a human who was simply a member of a werewolf pack. He needed to do more research, he needed to watch them more carefully, and he really needed to work out what was going on in this little pack.

The door slammed in front of him but Joshua wasn't paying attention anymore. He tucked his water pistol back into his pocket and left the building. He had work to do.

Joshua made it home after going through his usual anti-tracking routine and pulled up the documents he was keeping on Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski. He typed HUMAN in red next to Stiles' name but didn't close the document. He would not harm the human however there was obviously more to this relationship – he knew what Derek was and chose to live with him. Joshua wrote WEREWOLF next to Derek's name and found all the files he could on humans in werewolf packs. He had not been able to find information on Derek's pack yet but now that he knew that Derek was definitely a werewolf he could watch him and find out everything he would need to know to put a stop to the werewolf pack. He needed to take down the whole pack, simply cutting off the metaphorical head by killing the alpha wasn't enough. Another would take Derek's place and if he was liked then the pack would attempt to hunt Joshua down.

According to the vast resources that Joshua, and his family before him, had built up there were only three reasons that a werewolf kept a human in their pack; they were intended to be turned, they were human family members (Joshua would need to research that option just to double check), and they were kept as an omega (the new, disgusting meaning of the word rather than the traditional position of a werewolf without a pack). Of all of the possibilities the first seemed the most likely. Which would alter Joshua's timeline; he needed to stop Derek before he turned Stiles and Joshua had another werewolf to hunt.

/\/\/\

Joshua had become aware of the possibility of a werewolf at Berkeley when he found an article from years before, a woman's body found in an abandoned lot – she had been mauled, the official police report said a wild animal, possibly a pack of stray dogs, but Joshua's instincts had been alerted by the article. He had packed up the hotel room he'd been staying at and headed for the campus. He'd been in the area for close to two weeks before he was able to get a lead which led him directly to Derek Hale, who had been a student at the university at the time of the woman's dead and had now returned. There were a number of staff from the university that spanned the time and of course all of the local residents. However, the murder, a mere fortnight before Derek had left the university, and the three separate reports of a giant dog on campus within the last year pointed to werewolf. The campus police, and the real police, dismissed all of the reports because the people making them were drunk. Joshua wasn't so quick to dismiss their reports so he went and talked to them all. There was a chance that some of the report might be alcohol related but the description of the beast they had seen was closer to werewolf than dog. Joshua had started to watch Derek, and his roommate, and with his test now out of the way he was sure that he had his culprit. He would need to find the rest of the pack before he made his move though; Joshua did not like to go into any situation without as much information as possible.

/\/\/\

Joshua had not intended to confront the werewolf again. He had all the information he needed; Derek was a werewolf, therefore he needed to be put down as soon as Joshua knew exactly who his pack were and the best ways to kill them.

He hadn't intended to see Derek at all that second time – he wanted to know more about Stiles. Joshua had been watching the human but he needed to know more. He had found the best time in Stiles' schedule to intercept him. Derek wouldn't be on campus – they never met after this particular class.

Joshua was watching from the pillar of another building when Derek walked up to Stiles' class. Joshua swore – he knew he should walk away but he wanted to talk to Stiles and he had his blade with him as a precaution. Perhaps if he followed they would separate and he would be able to corner the human and warn him away from the dangerous path that he was walking.

He knew he had been spotted though and he debated whether to leave or to pursue. On one hand if he was able to catch them he might get some information. And by this point they knew that Joshua was following them. They would change their patterns and then Joshua would have to find another opportunity to separate Stiles which might make him too late to ensure that there wasn't another werewolf to deal with. He kept following, attempting to work out where the werewolf was leading him.

He saw them dart out from an alcove and realised that the werewolf was protecting the human. He would never be able to get Stiles alone now. He would simply need to wound the werewolf and then catch up to Stiles and explain why living with a werewolf was a terrible idea.

Derek led them into a clump of trees and stopped, turning to face Joshua with Stiles tucked almost behind him.

"I know you are human, you can leave." Joshua offered, knowing Stiles would not take him up on it.

"Who are you?" Stiles asked.

"Joshua." Joshua had been known by many names but he always kept his Christian name, the one given to him by his father.

"Why are you following us?" Derek growled, stepping just a little more directly in front of Stiles.

"Because you are a werewolf and I hunt you filthy mutts and I will be here to make sure you don't hurt anyone else at this school." Joshua always found it helpful to make the werewolves think that he was just a hunter – them underestimating him was a powerful tool.

"Anyone else?" Stiles asked popping his head up above Derek's shoulder, Derek growled at him so Stiles dropped back down. So, the human didn't know about the other murder. Perhaps it was someone that Derek had been sleeping with before Stiles. Joshua would have to do more research to see if that was Derek's way of breaking up with a human – ripping their throat out.

"I read about the last person here. I will kill you when I am sure I have all of you though."

Joshua took the opportunity their confusion gave him to lash out at Derek. The blade was dipped in his own personal mixture – designed to debilitate and if untreated perhaps even kill; though werewolves were notoriously hard to kill. He didn't want Derek dead yet though it was beginning to look like he would be able to trace the rest of the pack through Stiles. Joshua turned to leave as Stiles rushed to the werewolf's side. He couldn't resist turning around and offering a final piece of advice.

"I'd leave him, human, before you get dragged down to hell with him."

Joshua turned again and rushed from the clearing. He knew that Stiles wouldn't leave Derek to chase him but he didn't take any chances as he did everything he could to make sure no one could follow him – werewolf senses or not.

/\/\/\

The next time he saw Stiles it was an accident. He was sitting in a café near the public library and he looked up to see Stiles and a woman, MJ – definitely human and unaware of werewolves, sitting on the other side of the establishment. He knew the moment that Stiles saw him meaning he couldn't slip away as he'd intended when he saw the other man. Stiles said something to MJ and then rushed from the café heading back to campus. Joshua should have known not to go to a café so close to campus. He knew he wouldn't have another opportunity to speak to Stiles alone. Joshua had given up on the possibility of Stiles leaving the werewolf but he could at least see what information he could get from the other man now.

"Why are you doing this?" Stiles asked, turning around and watching him.

"He's a werewolf."

"And a good man."

Joshua shook his head at Stiles' gullibility. "He's not a man anymore. He's a werewolf. He will just end up hurting you."

"He's been a werewolf his whole life – he's a better man than you." Joshua filed that information away for later – born werewolves were reported to be stronger than made ones but he had never dealt with one before. "He has never hunted someone down like you're hunting us."

"He's the werewolf. If you walk away I'm not going to come after you."

"I'm not about to leave him when I know you're trying to kill you."

Joshua understood what the other man wasn't saying – he wouldn't have left Derek no matter what was happening.

"Obviously, he survived our last meeting then."

Stiles swore but Joshua would have heard if the werewolf had have died. "You sliced his chest open," Stiles said, gesturing along his chest and Joshua caught sight of a flash of black ink. He stopped listening to the other man and reached out, grabbing Stiles' arm.

Stiles tried to pull away but Joshua dug his fingers in so that he could see the tattoo on his wrist. It was a werewolf mark. He recognised it from his grandfather's journals. There could only be one reason for a human to be wearing a werewolf mark. It was a pack mark. He had read about them but they were not as common as they used to be. Joshua realised that Stiles wasn't just naïve, he was stupid enough to be planning to be turned and believed that he was already in the pack. Joshua dropped Stiles' hand and left. As he made his way home he knew he was going to have to stop Stiles along with the rest of the pack.

/\/\/\

Joshua drove along the highway following Derek's black Camaro. Stiles was still in Berkeley but Derek was the werewolf so the hunter didn't mind letting the human out of his sight. They were heading home for the summer with Stiles to follow Derek. Joshua hadn't realised that they weren't originally from Berkeley. If they were only living in Berkeley for university he might have misjudged Derek's position of alpha. Joshua would know for sure once they arrived; Derek's pack would be in his home town. Joshua hadn't focussed heavily on where they came from as werewolves tended to stay at home, or close to, but now that he knew they were both from the town of Beacon Hills he knew where the rest of the pack must be.

When they arrived Derek drove away from the town again and into the woods that overlooked the town. Joshua parked at one of the many hiking stops and set out to find the property.

He surveyed the woods for two weeks until he was sure that he knew exactly who was in the pack, where the buildings were, and their weaknesses.

Then he started planning his attack.

/\/\/\

On a Wednesday, just after dawn Joshua started moving towards the house. He hefted the heavy backpack on his shoulder and moved as quietly as he could through the trees. In his backpack he had everything he would need to keep the wolves in the house. He had watched them long enough to know that the town's sheriff knew about the wolves but he wasn't sure if the man was corrupt or not. From what Joshua had been able to find out in his research Derek had been arrested once for murder but he was released and his uncle was discovered to be the murderer instead. Werewolves always ended up murdering someone; Joshua knew that. He suspected, from the fact that Peter Hale's crimes were reported, that the sheriff wasn't under Derek's thumb even if his son was.

Joshua was a hunter though and he wasn't going to take any chances. The sheriff wasn't working and after a full moon the wolves would be worn from their run the night before and less powerful than they were in the lead up to the lunar event.

He circled around the house, checking all of the windows and doors with his binoculars. There was no sign of movement within the house and the whole pack would be there. Joshua had come out the night before to make sure that all five members of the pack, plus their two humans, were there. He crept up to the front door, setting his traps to ensure they couldn't escape and circle around behind him. He had debated calling out a hunter he knew lived in the area…Argent, but the pack wasn't too big and if the other hunter hadn't already taken this pack out he might have died since Joshua had last heard from him.

When he was sure that the flash bang grenades and the other traps were set he snuck around to the backdoor of the house and took a deep breath, preparing himself. He looked up and into the kitchen door and swore when he saw Stiles standing there frozen. In the moment their eyes met Stiles turned and started running. Joshua pulled his sawed-off shotgun out of his bag and shot a hole in the backdoor as Stiles' voice rang out through the house.

Joshua stepped through the backdoor as the first growl filled the air. He swore and started moving.

"Stiles, get to the panic room," Derek yelled out.

Joshua cursed – he hadn't come prepared to lay siege to a panic room, especially not in a panic room that was in a werewolf's house. He rushed through the kitchen and cut Stiles off from running down a hallway.

"What are you doing here?" Stiles asked.

"I'm making sure these werewolves never kill another human being." Joshua twisted and shot the werewolf who was running at him but Danny twisted and caught the buckshot in the side instead of the stomach. Joshua threw the gun away – he wouldn't have time to reload with all of the pack coming towards him at once. Joshua hated a plan that didn't come together.

He pulled the sword from the sheath on his back. He liked the weight of the hilt within his fist and turned to face Danny who had placed himself between Joshua and Stiles. He knew the rest of the pack was about to crash into the room, a little surprised they weren't there already, and he knew he would need to take them out quickly. He twisted his wrist and lunged at Danny slicing into the werewolf's side and twisting up until he hit rib. He pulled his sword back and lifted his arm ready to take off his head when Stiles yanked the werewolf out of the way.

Joshua grunted out his displeasure and stabbed at Stiles, missing him by a hair's breadth. He twisted back into the movement and caught Stiles' shoulder nicking the skin and drawing an immediate flow of blood.

The growl that hit Joshua was loud, violent, and terrifying. He made another lunge for Stiles but the man pulled away again, getting caught under the weight of Danny next to him and falling heavily. His fall revealed Derek running at him, fangs and claws sharp and eyes leaking red around the electric blue. Joshua shifted his stance and let Derek's momentum embed the blade into the werewolf's body; stalling his momentum. Stiles had pushed Danny out of the way and was standing up, ignoring the pull of Scott's hands to pull him away from the fighting. Lydia was running in though, yanking Derek, and the blade, from his grip. Joshua swore and reached out, using the werewolf's grip on Derek to help him pull the blade from the resisting flesh.

/\/\/\

"Derek!" Stiles yelled out, fighting against the hold Scott had on him. He couldn't let Joshua hurt Derek.

"Stiles," Scott said, finally pushing the human back and into the wall. "Stop, you're going to get hurt."

"Derek's been stabbed."

Scott turned and watched as Jackson rushed at Joshua, side stepping the blade and landing a heavy punch to the hunter's jaw.

"We've got this. Get down to the panic room."

Stiles nodded – he knew he'd be a liability at the moment but he couldn't make his feet move seeing the Derek's blood forming a puddle under him.

Scott turned his back on Stiles and rushed into the fight, using his forearm to knock the blade out of the way before he punched Joshua splitting the hunter's lip. He missed the small blade that Joshua pulled from his hip and stabbed into Scott's chest. Stiles knew it wasn't his heart – the wrong side of his body but his own heart stopped in fear. He needed to do something. He needed to stop Joshua but…

Stiles rushed from the room, grabbing items as he went until he made it into the kitchen and the lemons. He didn't even know if this was going to work as he squeezed lemons into a mug and listened to his pack howl, bodies thump, and the frantic sounds of fighting. He finished and rushed back down the hallway, ducking around Derek, who was pulling himself back to his feet, and Lydia, who was unconscious, to throw the mug right into Joshua's eyes.

The moment the lemon hit Joshua swung around blindly and his sword slid through the flesh of Stiles' stomach before he dropped to the ground in pain. Stiles heard the sirens in the distance – Allison must have called them from the panic room. He looked down at Joshua writhing on the floor and felt no guilt, only pleasure that he's protected the pack.

"Stiles!" Scott yelled and Stiles turned to him, the world suddenly moving very slowly.

"Stiles!" Stiles knew the voice and it was not coming from Scott even as his best friend reached out and touched him. Stiles looked down to see what Scott was doing to find his abdomen wet with blood…the drips hitting the floor beneath him.

"Stiles!" Derek's scream was the last thing Stiles heard as he hit the ground.

When he woke up he was in the hospital, the stark white everything and the beeping from next to him telling him where he was. The pain throughout his stomach and abdomen confirming it for him, he looked to the side and found Derek sitting next to him looking at him intently.

"Derek?" Stiles croaked.

"Stiles." Derek said; staring at him silently.

"What happened?"

"Joshua stabbed you twice. You had surgery. Your dad is talking to the doctor."

"Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah. We all healed from what happened."

"Did you bite me?" Stiles asked slowly trying to keep his eyes open.

"No." Derek said, surprised he even asked.

"Okay, so tired." Stiles let his eyes close and felt sleep overtaking him. Derek was here so it would all be fine.

Derek let his hand ghost down Stiles' arm when he was asleep again. He would be okay, he had to be okay. Derek hadn't slept since the fight, since his pack had stood against the hunter who kept coming after them. Since they had stopped him but not before Stiles had been injured.

Derek closed his eyes and could still see Stiles lying on the floor bleeding out.

He pulled away from the younger man and looked at him knowing that he would have to walk away. And stay away. He had always known that being in Stiles' life would put him in danger but now he couldn't keep pretending that he was strong enough to protect the human.

The door opened behind him and Derek turned around to see Sam.

"Sheriff, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Derek looked back at Stiles. "I need to go."

"He'll want to see you when he wakes up."

"He was awake for a few minutes. He's seen me."

"Derek, you know-"

"That it was my fault he was hurt. So, I shouldn't be here when he wakes up."

"He won't blame you."

"He'll understand," Derek said walking through the door.

"No, he won't," Sam said quietly in the hospital room but Derek heard him anyway.

He could sense the pack in the waiting room so he slipped out of another exit and ran home.

/\/\/\

Stiles woke again late the next day when they were changing his dressings.

"What?" He groaned out, trying to push them away.

"Stiles," a woman said, looking down at him.

"What, stop."

"Stiles," suddenly Melissa entered his line of sight.

"Melissa?"

"Stiles, calm down, we're changing your dressings. You need to lie still."

"Dressings?" Stiles asked, breathing heavily. He blinked at her. "I…oh, Derek. The hunter. Am I okay?"

"You're fine, Stiles, just relax."

"Okay."

Stiles stared at the ceiling as they moved him around and redressed his wounds. His ankle hurt, his shoulder and stomach felt like they were on fire, and he could tell that his face was swollen. He tried to work out what else hurt but the harder he tried to concentrate the more difficult he found it until he fell into unconsciousness again.

/\/\/\

"He's waking up."

"How do you know?"

"His heartbeat is different."

"How ca…you're right."

"Of course I am, we're brothers."

"I don't think you understand what brothers means."

"H-H," Stiles had to stop and clear his throat, "he's my brother."

"From another mother," Scott finished.

Stiles opened his eyes and found the pack sitting around his bed.

"What's going on?"

Scott walked over and rested his hip against the bed. "You don't remember?"

Stiles thought back and remembered, trying to sit up. "Joshua. Is Derek okay?"

"Lie down," Scott said, pushing Stiles back into the bed. "He's fine."

Stiles looked around the hospital room. "Where is he?"

Scott turned and looked at Lydia.

"He's not here. Is he healing?" Stiles asked.

"He was here until you woke up. Then he went home."

"I only just woke up."

The hospital room door opened and a doctor walked in.

"You're not all supposed to be in here at once," the doctor said, holding the door open. "I need to check Mr Stilinski over so you're all going to need to step outside."

"Okay," Scott said, stepping away quickly and ushering the rest of the pack out of the door. Stiles knew he was trying to get away just a little too eagerly.

"What happened to me?" Stiles asked.

The doctor got the chart from the wall and smiled at him. "My name is Dr Oliver, how are you feeling?"

"My abdomen is sore and my shoulder hurts. My ankle is pretty sore too."

"Is that everything?"

Stiles shook his head. "Just the important stuff."

Dr Oliver nodded and started checking him over as he talked. "You came into the ED with stab wounds on your abdomen and shoulder. You have torn ligaments in your left ankle along with several other bruises and contusions."

Stiles looked down at his stomach when the doctor pulled the covers off him. There was a large bandage circling his lower abdomen. "Well, there goes my chances for a perfect six-pack."

The doctor chuckled. "The wound was quite serious, Mr Stilinski."

"How serious?"

"The wound nicked your intestine after passing through all three layers of abdominal muscles. You are lucky that the sheriff's department arrived when they did."

Stiles remembered talking to Derek…the alpha hadn't bitten him and now he understood why – he hadn't had time.

"That is lucky," Stiles said quietly, thinking about the look on Derek's face. He continued listening to the doctor with one ear.

"You won't be able to put any weight on your ankle for a couple of weeks but other than that we should be able to release you the day after tomorrow."

"How long will I be in hospital for?"

The doctor frowned at him. "Should I ask one of your friends in while we discuss this? I know your father isn't here."

Stiles blinked at him. "Scott."

The doctor walked to the door and asked Scott into the room.

"What's wrong?" Scott asked, stepping up to the bed.

"Mr Stilinski, can you tell me how old you are?"

Stiles frowned at him. "Twenty."

Dr Oliver looked at Scott who nodded.

"What is seventy-three minus fifteen?"

"Fifty-eight."

"If tomorrow is Tuesday and I ask you to come in ten days later what day would it be?"

"Friday."

"Why are you asking these questions?" Scott asked, leaning forward; worried.

"Stiles, asked a question that I had answered a few moments before."

Stiles grimaced. "I remembered Derek being here when I woke up."

Scott sighed. "He's not confused. Derek always distracts him."

The doctor nodded. "I need to make sure so I'm going to ask a few more questions."

"Okay," Stiles said, focussing on the doctor.

"I'm going to say five words. I want you to remember them. Silver, copper, tomorrow, yes, purple."

"S-"

"First, can you tell me the square root for sixty-four?"

"Eight."

"And the five words?"

"Silver…copper, tomorrow, yes, purple."

"That's good, Mr Stilinski, I don't think we need to worry about unidentified issues but we are going to keep you under observation for the next forty-eight hours. Then we should be able to release you the day after tomorrow assuming the wounds continue to show signs of improvement."

"You told me about the abdominal wound but I don't know about the shoulder wound."

"It's a straight puncture wound that didn't nick anything important. The knife went in approximately a centimetre. There is severe bruising however and you have injured your rotator cuff."

"How long will it take to heal?"

"The rotator cuff and ankle injuries will take up to four weeks to heal completely. The stab wounds will be six to twelve weeks depending on you and the after-care."

Stiles nodded thinking of the shortest option. "Just before we go back to school."

"The bruises and contusions will all heal in the next week to ten days."

Stiles nodded. "But I can go home the day after tomorrow?"

"Assuming your wounds do not develop an infection."

"They won't." Scott said.

Stiles laughed and then groaned. "Don't make me laugh."

"Sorry."

"A nurse will be in within the hour to give you the next round of antibiotics and pain medication."

"Okay, thanks."

"And he'll be changing your dressings and then you should rest. Your friends should probably leave you to rest."

Scott nodded. "We'll say goodbye and leave."

The doctor nodded. "Do you have any questions, Stiles?"

"No, I think you covered everything."

"If you think of anything please let me know."

"I will, thank you."

The doctor left them alone and Stiles turned to Scott. "Where is Derek?"

Scott groaned. "Stiles."

"Scott."

"He's at his place. He saw you when you woke up yesterday."

"Are you sure he's okay?"

"Yeah," Scott said, displeased. "He's healed."

"He does hate the hospital," Stiles said. "Can I have your phone?"

Scott made a face. "He's being an arse, Stiles."

"Why?"

"Because a member of his pack is in hospital and hurt and he's hiding at his house."

"He's never liked to be at the hospital – he doesn't like to be reminded that we're fragile. Actually, it's just me, isn't it? Allison never ends up in the hospital."

"No, she doesn't. But if she was then I'd be there with her."

"Except you're dating…epically in love. It's a bit different."

Scott opened his mouth and then nodded and handed over his phone.

"Hey, where's my dad?"

"He's at home. Mum dragged him home and told him he had to sleep and eat before he was allowed to come back. He was one of the sheriffs that responded the call out to the house."

"He wasn't supposed to be working."

"Apparently someone called in sick. He hadn't left your side since. Except for when you were in surgery."

"Thank your mum for me."

"I promised him I wouldn't leave so I'll get the pack and then you can sleep and I'll read a book."

Scott slipped out of the room and got the rest of the pack. They said their goodbyes and all hugged him gently before they left. As soon as they were gone Stiles unlocked Scott's phone and called Derek.

"Scott?"

"Hey, Derek."

"Stiles, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to call and make sure that you were completely healed after Joshua's attack."

"I'm completely healed. How are you?"

"Just fine, everything is healing. I should be released the day after tomorrow."

"That's good. You're feeling okay?"

"Yeah, nothing really hurts and everything is going to heal well…plus, I'll have a couple of good scars."

Derek growled into the phone.

"I'm going to be fine. You can come and see for yourself when I'm home. I know how much you hate hospitals."

Scott made a noise from where he was sitting in the chair beside Stiles' bed.

"I will," Derek said but there was something in his voice that made Stiles' spider sense tingle. "I'm glad you're awake and feeling better. I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay, yeah, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Derek."

Derek said his goodbyes and then hung up.

"Everything okay?" Scott asked.

"Don't pretend you weren't eavesdropping."

"Are you ever going to do anything about your feelings for him?"

"You don't want me to do anything about it."

"He's my friend and my alpha."

"And I don't think you think he's good enough for me."

Scott made a face. "I never said that."

"But you've started making this face whenever I talk about him or he and I are mentioned."

Scott let out a long breath and shrugged.

"Scott."

"I want you to be happy."

"I am happy."

"Then I'm happy."

"You are a _terrible_ liar. You have always been terrible – after all of this time you think you'd be better."

"I worry about you being hurt because you're in love with him and you're not _with_ him."

"I'm scared."

"He won't ever kick you out of the pack."

"But he might get weird and we'd stop being as close as we are."

"Is this better than knowing, for sure?"

"What do you think?"

"I think he's in love with you and would fall to his knees thanking the heavens if you told him you loved him. Or, he'd run away because he's scared."

"You think he's in love with me? Please."

The nurse walked in. Scott rested back in his chair.

"The doctor recommended rest," the nurse said, pointedly looking at Scott.

Scott shrugged. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I can ignore him and sleep," Stiles shrugged, watching as she injected something into his IV.

She didn't looked pleased as she looked down at Scott.

"His dad is only home sleeping right now because I promised I wouldn't leave," Scott said. "I'm not going anywhere."

"He's my bodyguard," Stiles said with a smile and a yawn. "He's protecting me while I sleep."

"Okay," she said, shaking her head at them both and making a note in his chart.

"Thanks, Beth," Scott said, smiling at her sweetly.

"So-"

Scott held his hand up. "Just relax and sleep."

Stiles yawned and glared but closed his eyes and relaxed back anyway.

/\/\/\

Sam was standing and looking out of the room's window when Stiles woke up the next morning. He was wearing his uniform.

"Dad?"

Sam turned around and smiled at Stiles. His face transformed with relief as he walked over and hugged Stiles. The hug put some pressure on Stiles' shoulder but he bit down on the groan.

"I'm okay." Stiles told his dad.

"You worried me."

"I'm sorry."

Sam kissed Stiles on the forehead and pulled away, sitting down.

"You're in your uniform."

Sam made a face. "I can't leave Joshua sweating in the cell anymore. I've got to go in and deal with him."

"What's happening with him?"

"He's been rotting in there since you were hurt."

"That seems fair. Is he blind?"

"No."

Stiles made a face. "That's a shame."

"Stiles."

"He stabbed me. He tried to blind Derek once. He hurt my pack. I wanted to blind him."

"He tried to blind Derek once? You've seen him before?"

Stiles grimaced. "Maybe."

"Unbelievable. I'm going to have to get Derek down to the station to answer questions now. And you're going to get a visit from a deputy when you're feeling better. How could you keep this from me?"

"I didn't want you to worry."

"Too late."

"I'm okay."

"I know. But you had surgery and I saw you lying in Derek's arms bleeding which took years from my life. I was…am worried."

"I'm going to be good as new. With a few scars for the trouble."

"No more scars after this."

"I will try not to scare you again."

"I know that's all I'm going to get so I suppose it's enough."

"I didn't mean to make you worry."

"You could have gone down to the panic room with Allison."

"I don't know how Scott got her to go down there."

"I might have carried her down over my shoulder," Scott said, pushing the door open.

"We had words," Allison offered, coming in behind him.

"I'd still do it again."

Allison made a face at him.

"I had no idea what was there attacking us," Scott told her and then turned to look at Sam. "Sorry we were late."

"Not late," Sam said, standing up. "Stiles only just woke up so it's perfect."

"You going in?" Stiles asked.

"Yeah.

"Be safe."

Sam shook his head at Stiles but leaned down and hugged him anyway.

"Love you," Stiles said quietly.

"I love you too, son, I'll be back later."

Stiles nodded and watched his father leave.

"So, you're babysitting again?" Stiles asked when his father was gone.

"I came with cards this time."

"Excellent," Stiles said, reaching for the remote that would raise him into more of a sitting position.

They played card games until well after lunch when the rest of the pack arrived.

Lydia was the first one through the door, sitting on the edge of Stiles' bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I think they're still giving me to good drugs."

"Are you going to share?" Jackson asked, walking into the room with a brown paper bag.

"No, but you might have to…what's in the bag."

"Fried rice and Szechuan beef."

"I love you," Stiles said, reaching out.

Jackson scowled at Stiles but the human knew that he appreciated the words. The werewolf handed him the bag and Stiles opened it with glee.

"What about the rest of us?" Scott asked.

"I'm the one in the hospital bed injured." Stiles reminded him.

"Well, if you're going to pull the injured human card then I suppose I won't steal any of your food." Scott sighed pathetically.

Stiles laughed and held out the container to Scott who came over and stoles a few pieces of beef. "Oh man, that's the good Chinese from Dragon Express."

"Of course," Jackson said, looking at Scott with annoyance.

"Jackson knows which Chinese is my favourite."

Jackson smiled at Stiles with pleasure, preening under the praise.

"You're good," Lydia said, bending down to kiss Stiles' forehead.

Stiles ate the rest of the rest of the rice and Szechuan beef while the pack chatted around him.

"Sorry I'm late," Danny said, sliding into the room later.

Stiles looked at him and laughed. "Nice hicky."

Danny slammed a hand to his neck. "It's still there?"

Stiles nodded. "So, it must be fresh."

Danny flushed.

"Was it the fireman?" Jackson asked, turning to his best friend.

"You picked someone up after the fight?"

Danny nodded. "Alison called everyone and he was cute."

"I'm so impressed," Stiles told him.

"You should be," Lydia said, "he's hot."

"He's a fireman," Stiles said with a wink, "it's nice to learn that some stereotypes are true."

"He was the only hot one," Allison told him.

"I only need one," Danny said.

"Then you're doing it wrong," Jackson said with a laugh.

Lydia smacking him upside the head. "Cheating on someone isn't okay."

Jackson rolled his eyes. "I never agree to monogamy."

Lydia looked at him with pity and shook her head at him. "One day I am going to enjoy watching you fall in love with someone so stupidly that you panic and fall apart."

Stiles bit down on his lower lip to keep himself from saying anything.

"But, when it happens we'll all be here to support you," Danny offered.

"What makes you think I would fall apart…or that I'll ever fall in love?"

"We all fall in love eventually," Allison said. "In one form or another."

"It's nothing to be afraid of, Jackson." Stiles said. "The worst that can happen is that they aren't interested."

"And then you can pine for the rest of your life," Lydia said, smiling at him.

"I'm not Stiles. I'm not…I didn't mean that," Jackson said, looking at Stiles.

Danny slapped Jackson. "It's fine that you're pining for Derek. Completely normal."

"It's not normal," Lydia said. "It's a TV show. Normal is telling him and having sex."

"Or not having sex," Stiles offered, "if he's not interested."

"Please, of course he's interested," Jackson said.

"What?" Stiles said.

"What?" Jackson asked, looking around the pack who were all staring at him. "I'm sick of watching Stiles pine, I'm sick of watching Derek act like a lovesick puppy. And I saw Derek yesterday; he's blaming himself for Stiles being in here."

"Derek isn't a lovesick puppy," Stiles said.

"Of course he is," Lydia told him.

Stiles looked at his pack and every single one of them was staring at him in agreement with Lydia. "You cannot all think that Derek is in love with me." They all nodded. "Impossible, I'd know if he was in love with someone."

"In love with you," Lydia said. "And it's not even that – the two of you are basically mated."

"Lydia!" Scott growled.

Lydia shrugged. "The cat's out of the bag, why should I hide anything anymore?"

"You were hiding it?" Stiles asked, looking at Scott.

Scott looked at his best friend and sighed. "We were letting things progress naturally."

"Is this because you don't want me to date Derek?"

"I want you to date Derek if it's what you want. I'm just not sure he's good enough for you."

"But you think he loves me?"

Scott nodded.

"It's not possible."

"Why not?" Allison asked. "You're an amazing person. Why couldn't he possibly love you."

"Because I live with him. He couldn't hide that from me."

"He's not hiding anything," Danny told him. "He probably thinks he is but he would be less subtle if he were wearing a sandwich board."

"So, you're telling me…I've been in love with him for years but I missed the fact that he was in love with me when he hasn't been hiding it or anything. I'm not an idiot."

"No, you're not," Danny said. "But, you're missing the forest for the trees."

"Here's the thing," Lydia said, stepping forward. "If it wasn't you, and Derek was doing any, _any_ , of the stuff he does then you'd know he was mated."

"What?" Stiles asked, moving awkwardly on the hospital bed.

"What would you think if Jackson welcomed a woman into his home to live?"

Stiles looked at Jackson who was trying to disappear into the wall. "Are you dating someone?"

"No."

Stiles blinked slowly. "I don't understand."

Scott reached out and put a hand on Lydia's shoulder. She shrugged him off.

"Stiles, if a woman moved into Jackson's home what would that mean?" Lydia asked again.

"That he was beginning the process of bonding with them."

"And you moved in with Derek – into his apartment – into a place where he lived alone."

"I have – we all have – a room in Derek's house. We helped him build the place."

"But none of us actually live there – full time. It's only for sometimes."

Stiles rolled his eyes and then groaned. "That hurt."

"You're hurt." Scott pointed out.

"I know."

"And this can wait." Scott said.

"No," Allison said quietly, "it can't. Jackson's right. Instead of Derek thinking that being around Stiles could get him hurt like his family was hurt this time he is actually the reason that Stiles was hurt. Joshua came after Derek and in doing that Stiles ended up in hospital with a stab wounds and torn ligaments so we need to do this now or Derek will pull away completely and he will never let Stiles in."

"Allison," Stiles said weakly. "It wasn't his fault."

"I know. But, what would Derek think?"

Stiles looked down at the scrapes on his hand. "He's going to blame himself."

"Right," Lydia said. "So, what would you think if Danny invited a human male into the pack, told him all about us?"

"That he was going to get mated and married."

"But when Derek welcomed you into the pack." Danny asked.

"He didn't have a choice," Stiles pointed out, looking at Scott. "He wanted Scott in his pack and I came with Scott."

"You earned your place in the pack," Scott argued.

"Well, I know that."

"What about if I was an alpha who relinquished control of training my betas to someone else?" Lydia asked.

"I was hazardous to everyone's health," Stiles pointed out.

Lydia threw up her hands. "For a moment stop thinking about it being you and Derek. Pretend Derek was some random alpha, who had a pack member who was sought out for advice over the alpha, a pack member who questioned the alpha and who the alpha agreed with more than eighty per cent of the time. Pretend that you know of an alpha who would open his home to a human without a thought. An alpha who would welcome a human cop into his pack, one who encourages his pack to view this human as equal to the alpha."

"Derek never did that."

Each one of the wolves shook their heads at him.

"An alpha who gave a human an entire room so that if he goes mad like his uncle then that human can stop the werewolf and protect the pack. That's what the second-in-command does. The alpha's mate."

"Well yes, but it's just because I helped Scott resist Peter."

"Why don't you want him to love you back?" Jackson asked.

Stiles turned at looked at him. "What?"

Jackson looked uncomfortable as he walked over to Stiles and sat on the bed next to the human's knees. "Everything that Lydia has said is true and you're just refusing to accept it so I want to know why you don't actually want him to love you back."

"Because he's…"

"In love with you."

"Jackson," Stiles said, looking at the werewolf.

"You love him and he loves you and anyone with half a brain can see it – even I saw it."

Stiles tried to smile at the joke but couldn't make his lips stretch.

"It isn't that you're scared, is it?" Scott asked. "I mean – we would understand if you were scared of losing Derek given what happened with your Mum…and your Dad after."

Stiles looked at Scott, trying to work out what to say.

"Perhaps, we should leave Stiles alone to rest," Allison said, resting a hand on Scott's arm.

Stiles nodded, once, and then grimaced. "I am tired."

The pack nodded and filed past to offer Stiles comfort before they left. Scott hung back and watched Stiles.

"Are you staying?" Stiles asked.

"Yeah," Scott said.

"Okay."

Allison poked her head back into the room and looked at Scott.

"I'm just going to stay until Stiles falls asleep."

Allison smiled at him and walked back into the room. "I'll see you in the morning," she said with a kiss.

Allison left and Stiles closed his eyes, knowing Scott would stay the whole time he was asleep to watch over him.

Stiles couldn't sleep, the pack had left over an hour before and he couldn't seem to slip into sleep even though he was exhausted.

"What's wrong?" Scott asked quietly.

"He's a werewolf so being scared of him dying is ridiculous."

"It is."

"And I once saw Peter stick his hand through Derek's chest so probably it's not going to be something like Mum."

Scott stood up and came to sit next to Stiles. "I'm not saying that is why you haven't seen how Derek feels."

"Scott, be completely honest with me."

"He loves you. He's never told me but he does."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because…because, I thought when you were ready you would see it but I never expected you to get hurt like this."

"And if Derek does love me then he'll definitely close that door to me because I was hurt when someone came after him."

"Yeah."

"Then we're just going to have to stop him from doing it."

"First, you need to get some sleep and heal. You're hurt."

Stiles smiled. "I am, but I'll heal."

Scott placed his hand on Stiles' ankle and concentrated – pulling the pain out of the human's body.

"You shouldn't do that," Stiles said but now that the underlying pain was gone the pain meds were making him feel fuzzy.

Stiles passed out, snoring. Scott smiled down at him and relaxed into one of the chairs. He hid in the bathroom whenever the nurses came to the room to check on Stiles.

/\/\/\

Stiles woke up slowly to find his father sitting next to his bed.

"Dad?"

"I sent Scott home."

"He stayed with me last night."

"I asked him to," the sheriff admitted.

"I know."

"Joshua was actually Joshua Michaels. He was wanted for murder in Nevada."

Stiles sat up. "What did you do with him?"

Stiles' father folded his arms across his chest. "I'm probably going to have to send him to Nevada for prosecution for murder. The DA is looking into the cases."

"He didn't kill me."

"He wanted to," Sam said, angry.

"Dad."

"Stiles, you could have died."

"I'm going to be okay. The wolves would never have let me die."

Sam stopped and rubbed a hand down his face. "No, Derek would have died first."

"So, you think he loves me too?"

Sam scooted forward on the chair. "You finally worked it out?"

Stiles shrugged. "The pack told me."

"Why?"

"Because they think Derek is going to shut me out now."

Sam's eyes flickered down to the table and then back to Stiles.

"What?"

Sam reached out and pulled an envelope off the table – handing it to Stiles. "This was left at the nurse's desk."

"What is it?"

"A letter."

Stiles knew, with cold certainty, that the letter was from Derek. And he knew what it would say – he felt like he could write it himself if he wanted to. He didn't want to. With conviction came the realisation that Derek was in love with him. Had been in love with him for years. He'd been an idiot and now he was about to lose something he could have had a long time ago.

"Give it to me," Stiles said, his voice more detached than he would have expected.

"Stiles, do you want me to go and talk to him."

Stiles laughed. "No, I really don't."

"If you need me to…"

"Thank you."

Sam handed over the letter and Stiles opened it slowly.

"Before you read it, you should know they will be releasing you this morning."

"I know."

"And until they actually release you, you can't go out there and convince him he's wrong."

"I know."

Sam sighed. "I'll go and see if they can move it along."

Stiles waited until his father had left the room before he unfolded the paper, looking at the neat, beautiful penmanship without actually reading the words. He traced a finger over his name at the top of the paper and hated Derek as he trailed a nail over the curl of the s. He hated himself as well. He hated the situation and hated that he was going to have to read the letter that Derek had written him to break his heart. But, he knew he needed to and he took a deep breath and actually focussed on Derek's writing.

_Stiles,_

_It's my fault that you were injured earlier today. Humans should not be in a werewolf pack and I should have known that. All humans that have been part of werewolf packs have been in danger. I have put you in danger and while you have constantly proven that you are capable of looking after yourself you are still weaker than we are. I cannot continue to allow you to put yourself in danger to be part of our pack._

_I told you that pack was for life and that is true but I cannot protect you as I should. I lied to myself, convinced myself that I would be able to keep you safe when I don't know what, or who, may come after us. Since you joined my pack you have been in danger too many times. I cannot stand by and allow any member of my pack to be hurt so I am quitting university. I will return to Beacon Hills and keep my land and the pack safe. In the time you have left at university the ties to the pack will diminish. Then when you return I believe you will be able to separate yourself from the pack without losing the friendships you have with the remaining wolves. If you are not pack then you should not be in danger._

_Joshua chose to come after you because you were pack. He chose to come after you because to a hunter your place in the pack would appear important. As it has been. It cannot be an important place in the pack anymore. You cannot hold an important place in the pack. I would never have wanted to do this but circumstances leave me with no choice. I am breaking pack bonds with you, Stiles._

_I am sorry._

_Derek_

Stiles read the letter again and scrunched it up into a little ball viciously but he couldn't bring himself to actually hurl it at the wall. Now that he understood he realised how much it would have cost Derek to write those words. Now, that the pack had pointed out what he had been missing – that he was Derek's mate even if they had not bonded, then he understood that it would have caused Derek great pain to have said those things to Stiles.

Knowing that did not make the words hurt less…somehow he believed that he hurt more knowing everything.

A few minutes later his father came in with a doctor. Stiles sat through the examination plotting what he would need to do as soon as he was released from the hospital.

They fitted him with a cane, his shoulder injury preventing him from using crutches, and finally, what felt like hours later, they released him with instructions for follow up visits and physical therapy consultations. Stiles assumed his father was listening because he hadn't been.

The moment they got down to the car Stiles turned to his father.

"I need to go home, have a shower, and then you need to drive me to Derek's place."

"I thought you'd want to go straight there."

"If I go there smelling of the hospital he will be even more recalcitrant that he will be just seeing me with a cane, bruises, and bandages."

"I have to say this, Stiles. He is right; you would be in less danger if you walked away."

"I couldn't walk away from Scott, or the rest of the pack, even if I could walk away from Derek. And you know what Mum always used to say."

"Stilinski men love once and they love hard," Sam said quietly.

"You proposed to her after you'd been dating for a week."

"She didn't accept straight away."

"Would you have walked away if you knew then that she would get sick, that she'd die and…and, that it would hurt like it did?"

"No."

Stiles smiled sadly, feeling his eyes warm with the possibility of tears. "I love him. I've been in love with him for years and I am finished being scared. I am finished with the angst and pain and I am not going to let him take something away from himself, or me, that will make us very happy just because I might be in a little danger."

"Okay."

"I'd take the bite before I let him push me out like this."

"You said you don't want to be a werewolf."

"I also said," Stiles told his father as they turned into their driveway, "that if I had to, to be part of the pack, then I would do it."

"That's not right, Stiles."

Stiles smiled. "He won't let me."

Sam unbuckled his seatbelt and came around to help Stiles from the car. "What?"

Stiles walked slowly into the house, getting a feeling for using the cane for balance, and smiled at his father. "Derek will never bite me. I know he promised you he wouldn't unless I was dying but he is not kicking me out of this pack. And if I have to buff him out, I will."

"Right," Sam said. "Shower and then I'll drive you over."

"Dad," Stiles said, stopping at the bathroom doorway and grabbing his father's wrist. "Thank you."

Sam kissed Stiles on the forehead. "I care about him too and I think you could be very happy together. I only want you to be happy."

"I am happy…I think I could be happier if I can convince him not to do this."

Sam smiled. "I don't think he is going to know what hit him. We Stilinski men are very bull-headed when it comes to love."

"I'm counting on it."

Showering hurt more than Stiles was expecting, draining him of more energy than he would have liked and by the time he was done he looked weary. The stark bruises seemed to be even more pronounced after the shower than they had been before. He wondered if he could do anything to hide it. He didn't want to delay going though. He wanted to catch Derek before the alpha had any more time to convince himself that this was the only option.

Stiles walked out of the bathroom and got dressed. He went into the kitchen to get his father to reapply one of the bandages and knew he must look even worse than he thought.

"How bad is it?" Stiles asked.

Sam attempted to smile. "I think you should go upstairs and lie down."

Stiles let out a long sigh. "I thought as much."

"But if you want to go at least have something to eat and call Lydia to put some makeup on you."

Stiles smiled at his father and pulled out his phone. "What's for lunch then?"

"Stew. Melissa put it in the fridge this morning."

Stiles smiled. "She's so lovely."

"Yes, she is."

Stiles sat down on the couch gingerly. "I'm just going to rest while it heats up then."

"That's a good idea," Sam said carefully.

Sam moved around the kitchen quietly and Stiles sank down into the cushions of the couch stretching out. He knew he was going to fall asleep – the exhaustion floated over him like a wave and he heard his father running the tap just before the world went black.

Stiles woke up with a start sometime later to the smell of beef stew and Lydia's perfume. He got up slowly, sitting on the couch to find Lydia curled up in one of the other chairs eating and talking to his father.

"How long did I sleep?"

"Only an hour," his father said.

"I told him that an hour wouldn't have made that much of a difference and you look better than you did before." Lydia threw in.

"Can you make me look better still?"

Lydia scoffed at him. "Of course I can."

"Food first," Sam said, putting a bowl of stew down on Stiles' lap. "And something to drink, what do you want?"

"I need my tablet too."

"I'll get it." Sam said standing up.

"Thanks, Dad."

"How are you going to approach this?" Lydia asked him.

Stiles let out a huff of breath and moved the stew around in his bowl. Melissa made the best stew but he wasn't sure if he even wanted to eat it. He knew he needed to though and took his first bite while he was mulling over Lydia's question.

"I'm going to kiss him."

Lydia smiled. "That's a good start."

"And then I'm going to yell at him for trying to push me out of the pack. He promised me that he would never do that again."

"What?"

"Dad didn't tell you?" Stiles asked.

"Of course I didn't," Sam said, walking back into the room. He handed Stiles two tablets and a glass of water.

Stiles swallowed them and turned back to Lydia. "He left a letter for me at the hospital."

"Telling you that it was his fault that you were hurt and that you should leave the pack and probably that he was going to do something noble."

"Yep."

"Eat up then."

Stiles started eating more quickly. "He said he's going to give up on university."

"That's stupid," Sam said.

"I know," Stiles told him. "And I'm not going to let him get away with this."

"Then we need to get started on making you look like you weren't beaten up by a psycho werewolf hunter a few days ago."

Stiles put down the bowl. "Okay, make me beautiful."

Lydia covered as many of the bruises as possible, taking away the paleness of his skin at the same time.

"If he gets too close he's going to know you're wearing makeup."

"That's okay."

Lydia sat forward and kissed him quickly on the forehead. "We've been waiting for the two of you to get together."

Stiles smiled. "Yeah?"

"You're our alpha's mate. The pack needs the two of you to sort out your shit. And I want you to be happy, Stiles."

"Thanks, Lydia."

"Now, go and get your alpha."

"Aye, aye, Cap'n."

Sam shook his head at both of them. "We should get going."

"Right."

Stiles stood up and then stopped and turned to look at Lydia.

"You're doing the right thing, and you can do this." Lydia told him

"I can?"

"You can."

"Okay!"

Stiles thought about what he should say to Derek as his father drove him to the alpha's house. When they arrived it didn't look like anyone was home but Stiles climbed out of the car anyway and turned back to look at his dad.

"He doesn't look like he's here." Sam told him.

"He is."

"Want me to wait?" Sam asked.

"Nope, if you're here it will be easier for him to try and kick me out."

"And if I leave?"

"He'll have to be nicer to me."

Sam looked sceptical.

"I've got my phone and I'll call you back if I need to be picked up."

Sam looked up at the house.

"You like Derek," Stiles reminded him.

"But you're injured."

Stiles smiled at his father. "Love you too, Dad."

Sam nodded with a sigh and left Stiles. He looked up at the house and then began walking past the house to the shed. Stiles wished Derek hadn't decided to hide out in the shed the longer he had to trek across the uneven ground to the outbuilding. Stiles didn't call out to Derek though; not wanting the werewolf to see him struggling over the leaves and twigs.

Finally, he pulled the door open and stepped inside.

"Derek?"

Derek stepped away from the work table and turned to look at Stiles.

"What are you doing here?"

"I got your note."

"Then you shouldn't be here."

"I'm not going to let you do this," Stiles said, walking over to Derek.

"Leave," Derek said, with a growl. "Get out right now!"

"No," Stiles said, stopping in front of Derek and leaning heavily on the cane. "You don't get to kick me out after that letter."

"It said everything there was to say," Derek said his voice harsh in the mostly empty space.

"No, it didn't," Stiles said. "It told me the exact opposite of what you think it did."

"Just leave me alone, Stiles. I am not going to discuss this with you."

Stiles smiled at Derek sadly. "I love you, too."

Derek froze.

"I was stupid not to say something before, but, I do love you and your attempt to be all noble and tell me that I should walk away from the pack when you really mean walk away from you isn't going to stop me."

"I almost got you killed," Derek said in a small voice.

"I've almost got me killed way more than you have," Stiles said with a smile.

Derek growled at him.

"And I choose this life, I choose this pack. I will not want to be part of the pack any less if you make me stay out of it for two years. I am part of this pack. This pack is part of my family and that isn't going to stop."

"You're in danger."

Stiles smiled at Derek. "Turn me then."

"You don't want to be a werewolf."

"I always said if I had to be one to be in this pack then I would welcome the bite. So, turn me."

"No."

"It can't be all your way, Derek. I don't want to lose you."

"It's safer."

"Fuck safer. I want you. I've always wanted you. And the pack has told me that you want me too."

"You're human and-"

Stiles stepped forward and kissed Derek. The werewolf froze for a second and then slid his hand around the back of Stiles' neck and tilted the human's head to the left so that he could kiss him more thoroughly. Stiles moaned into his mouth and Derek pulled away, causing Stiles to over balance.

Derek grabbed onto his upper arms to steady him. "This is a bad idea."

Stiles licked his lips. "This is a brilliant idea."

"You're hurt."

"I will never, ever be hurt enough to not do that."

"Stiles," Derek said, voice slipping into a tone that could be called begging on someone else.

"Derek, do you love me?"

"I am not-"

"Don't lie to me, please."

Derek sighed. "I don't want you to get hurt because of me."

"If you make me leave the pack, and stop being your friend, then you will be hurting me."

"That's not fair."

"I want you to be with me, and I want us to be happy. But that's fine, let's try this; it wasn't your fault that I was hurt."

"Joshua went after you because you're part of the pack."

"Joshua went after me because he thinks all werewolves should be killed."

"And you were there because you live with me, because he knew you were part of my pack."

"And if he hadn't attacked me he would have still attacked your pack. Is it that different that I was hurt than you were, or that anyone else was?"

"You shouldn't get hurt. And being part of the pack means you're more likely to be hurt. More likely to be hurt because of me. I will not be the reason someone else dies."

"I'm not dead."

"But-"

"No," Stiles said, dropping the cane so that he could hold onto Derek's hands. "I want you to think about this. Think about seeing me at the supermarket." Derek opened his mouth to talk but Stiles shook his head. "Imagine me there with some other guy, some other girl."

Derek growled.

"Because I hate the idea of you going out to have a life without me in it."

"I'm not going to."

"Derek."

"No, I'm not-"

Stiles pulled on Derek's hands until he could hold Derek's face in his palms without having to move. "You deserve to be happy. You didn't do anything wrong and I won't let you get hurt like that again."

"Stiles, you can't promise that."

"I can promise to protect you for the rest of my life. I can promise that I'm not going to let someone like that into our pack again. I promise to continue being the person that the pack can come to with the things they don't talk to you about. I can promise to do everything I can to keep our pack together and happy. I can promise to love you."

"Stiles."

"I love you, I've been in love with you for years and I'm scared too because I watched my mother die and then my dad fall apart when she was gone. But, he'd never go back and change a minute and I want the chance to have a life with you that has everything possible in it."

Derek rested his hands on Stiles' elbows. "I can't watch you get hurt because of me."

"I can't promise to never get hurt but I won't get hurt because of you unless you hurt me. What someone else does doesn't mean that it's your fault."

Derek sighed. "I wanted to protect you."

"By hurting both of us?"

Derek sighed. "I need to think about this."

"I'm not leaving."

"Stiles."

Stiles pulled Derek into a kiss, a short press of his lips to Derek's. "Leaving you alone with your thoughts is dangerous."

"You love me?" Derek asked quietly.

Stiles kissed Derek again, licking into the werewolf's mouth. "Yes."

"I still want time to think."

"Okay," Stiles said, pulling back.

Derek reached down and handed Stiles back his cane. Derek frowned at Stiles as he shifted his weight back to the walking stick.

"I'm going to heal. Good as new."

"Okay."

"I will kiss you again."

Derek smiled. "That isn't a punishment."

"I prefer positive reinforcement."

"Should you be out of the hospital?"

"They released me this morning."

Derek rubbed his thumb across Stiles' jaw. "You're wearing makeup."

Stiles flushed. "I looked a little pale. Lydia came over and made me look better."

Derek sighed. "Will you take it off?"

Stiles nodded. "Let's go to the house and I'll show you."

Derek turned around to turned everything off and pack up.

"I'm going to start back for the house," Stiles said, watching the play of muscles along Derek's back under his shirt.

"I'll just be a second."

Stiles let out a breath. "It's going to take me longer to walk back to the house."

Derek turned around and looked at Stiles. "Give me a minute."

Stiles bit his lip and nodded.

Derek went through shutting everything down and then met Stiles at the door. He turned off the lights and held the door for Stiles.

"Have you eaten?" Derek asked as they walked.

"Melissa brought some stew over this morning."

Derek smiled. "Her stew is amazing."

"I know, I didn't eat much. I was nervous about convincing you not to follow through on your letter."

"You're not playing fair."

"All's fair in love and war."

Derek huffed out a laugh.

"I just want you to kiss me regularly."

Derek stopped abruptly and turned to Stiles. "What?"

Stiles shrugged his good shoulder. "I want to kiss you every morning for the rest of my life. I don't care what I need to do to convince you that this is worth it. I will do it."

Derek leaned forward and kissed Stiles. "Okay."

"What?" Stiles asked, pulling Derek back for another kiss.

"Okay, I love you."

Stiles smiled. He smiled so broadly his bruised jaw ached but he didn't care. "You wanted time to think about it."

"I don't want you to kiss someone else every morning."

"I promise."

"We haven't even really started dating yet. You can't promise."

"Yes, I can."

"No."

Stiles nodded. "I'm a Stilinski, this is how we roll." He pulled Derek into a long kiss, relaxing into the other man's body for the first time.

When Stiles pulled away Derek caught his wrist. He twisted his head around until he could press his lips to the tattoo on the inside of Stiles' wrist.

"I have wanted to do that," Derek said, voice harsh, "since the first time I saw it."

"Really," Stiles' asked twisting his arm so that he could see his tattoo.

"Makes you mine," Derek said pulling Stiles in so that he could kiss the human.

"Take me back to the house so I can sit and we can keep kissing."

Derek backed away quickly. "Are you in pain?"

"No, but this will be easier if I'm not in danger of standing on my hurt leg."

Derek's face darkened.

"Hey," Stiles said, poking the werewolf's nose. "You're never getting rid of me now. I'm much too stubborn to let you go so you'd better get used to kissing me and dealing with the fact that I get hurt sometimes. I'm more likely to trip over than I am to be attacked by a werewolf hunter. I can do a statistical analysis…or have Lydia do it for me, if it will help."

Derek groaned and turned towards the house. "You should be resting."

"Kissing you is resting."

"A little kissing but you should be resting."

"I can rest in your bed after sex."

"No sex."

"What?"

"Not until you are completely healed."

Stiles grinned. "That is such good motivation…can I convince you that mostly healed is a better plan."

"Completely healed," Derek said, leading the way up the step to the door.

"Fine, completely healed."

Derek held the door open for Stiles who walked past him and went through the kitchen and into the bathroom to rub the makeup from his face. Beneath it he still looked pale but he didn't look as bad as he had after his shower. He dropped the towel onto the bench and caught Derek watching him from the doorway of the bathroom.

"What do you think?" Stiles asked, turning around and grabbing the crane to walk towards the werewolf.

Derek lifted a hand to rub his thumb over Stiles' jaw. "You have a lot of bruises."

"Bruises aren't that big a deal. You're just not used to them because you've always been a werewolf."

"They mean you're hurt."

"And I'll heal. Everyone gets bruises."

Derek pulled Stiles into a kiss.

"Do you want to lie down?" Derek asked as they walked to the lounge room.

"With you?"

"No, in a bed, where you can elevate your ankle."

"With you?"

"No."

"Then no."

Derek glared at Stiles who smiled back at him.

"I have my pain medication in my pocket and clothes in my room. I'm never leaving."

"Your dad won't like that."

"He drove me here to seduce you."

"He did not."

"Fine, he drove me here so I could tell you I loved you and we could get together."

"He…he doesn't mind us dating?" Derek said sounding completely unsure.

"No," Stiles said, tugging Derek into the living room and sitting him down on the couch. "Why would he?"

"I'm a werewolf."

"He likes you."

"You got hurt…" Stiles glared at him, "…as a result of being around werewolves."

"And I could have just as easily been hurt in some other way. He knows I love you and he knows you would never hurt me so why would he not be okay with this. Plus, it's not his choice to make."

Derek frowned. Stiles tugged him over for another kiss.

"Do you want something to eat?" Derek asked, pulling away.

"No, I want to make out with you." Stiles said. "Stop trying to distract me."

"I don't want to hurt you when I get carried away."

Stiles beamed at him. "Okay, we'll just sit here then." He turned and propped his leg up on the coffee table, snuggling into Derek's side with his good shoulder.

"This is good," Derek said, curling his arm around Stiles.

"Yeah, this is good."

They sat together in silence for a long time until Derek sat up, holding Stiles to his side to stop him from losing balance.

"What?"

"Pack."

Stiles laughed and gingerly pulled away from Derek and called out to the pack. "Are you just eavesdropping?"

Derek looked at Stiles. "Did they know you were coming here?"

"Lydia did," Stiles said, rubbing at his nose.

Derek growled quietly at the large window.

"That's not going to stop them."

"They're being nosy."

"They are all invested in us being happy."

"What?"

"They all told me they knew we loved one another. They are probably just here to make sure that we got together."

Derek sighed with exasperation. "They're being nosy."

Stiles laughed and used Derek's thigh as leverage to stand up. He grabbed the cane and started walking towards the door.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to kiss you in the doorway and then tell them all to leave. Then I'm going to take my next round of tablets and we'll find something to watch while we cuddle."

"Are you going to ask me?" Derek asked.

Stiles turned around and smiled at Derek. "Will you come and kiss me in the doorway to make your pack go away?"

Derek was standing next to Stiles before he finished talking. The alpha threw open the front door of the house.

"You are all running the perimeter next training session," Derek called out into the trees.

Stiles tugged him around and kissed him thoroughly.

One of the wolves howled – Stiles thought it was Scott, and moments later the noise grew louder as the other betas joined in. Stiles pulled away and smiled out at the trees; he couldn't see the rest of the pack but he knew they were there.

"Happy now?" Derek asked.

"Nope," Stiles said, yanking him into another kiss.

Derek slammed the door shut and wrapped his arms around Stiles. The human dropped the cane and wrapped his good arm around Derek's torso. Stiles moved, trying to get closer and twinged his ankle. He tried to bite back the sound but Derek pulled away and looked at him with worry.

"I'm fine."

"You're still injured."

"But you want to kiss me."

"You should go home."

"No!"

"Just until you're feeling better."

Stiles shook his head. "I'll go home later…if I have to."

Derek pulled Stiles closer and kissed him again.

"You just really love me," Stiles said happily.

Derek made a face but he nodded.

"I promise I'll be good if I can stay here," Stiles said, trying to look as innocent as possible.

Derek groaned. "I don't trust myself."

Stiles grinned at him.

"And I really don't trust you."

Stiles smiled. "That's because you know me."

"A movie on the couch. I'll make some popcorn and then you're going home."

"We could instil the wall of Jericho."

"I don't know what that is."

"A wall of pillows down the middle of the bed."

"No."

"Then I want to watch The Lego Movie."

"No."

"Please?" Stiles asked, blinking up at Derek.

"You're going to sing the song for days."

"Yep."

Derek looked at Stiles and shook his head. "Okay."

Stiles whistled. "Man, you really do love me."

"Go and get comfortable. I'll get us popcorn and a drink."

"I'm just going to call my Dad. Let him know that you love me."

Derek opened his mouth to say something and then shook his head and walked into the kitchen. He kept and ear on Stiles though. He could hear the echo of the ringing phone even from the kitchen.

"Stiles." Sam said the moment he answered the phone.

"Hey, Dad. Derek loves me."

"That's nice."

"It's very nice."

"So, are you ever coming home again then?"

"Yeah, he said I'm too injured for sex."

Derek growled but he could still hear Sam's groan.

"Sorry, Dad."

"Call me when you are ready to come home. And keep everything else to yourself."

"Okay, later, Dad."

Derek put the popcorn in the microwave and could hear the sounds of the movie menu starting – he really did love Stiles.

/\/\/\

Derek finally convinced Stiles to leave after another movie, and dinner, and ice cream, and forty-three kisses (which he counted).

He drove Stiles home carefully and then was kissed thoroughly in the car before Stiles left to go into the house.

Stiles was back at his house just after breakfast the next day with the rest of the pack in tow. Derek didn't bother to be annoyed just made the rest of the pack wait on Stiles while he sat close to the human's side.

The next few days, weeks, continued on in the same way. Stiles would kiss him as often as possible. The human would spend as much time with Derek as possible, and Derek had to force himself to send Stiles home again at the end of the day.

Then one day, Stiles showed up at his house without his cane and without the sling on his shoulder. Derek knew he was screwed.

"Stiles."

Stiles walked up the porch stairs and threw his arms around Derek, kissing him hungrily.

"I'm not completely healed," he admitted. "But, my stitches have been removed. I can walk normally and my sling is gone. That's good enough."

Derek groaned and tried to pull away but Stiles tightened his hold and refused to be pushed away.

"You have a healing abdominal wound. That is not something we should rush."

"I'll lie back and think of England."

Derek laughed. "No, I don't want to hurt you."

"Fine, fine, no sex but I practised this morning and orgasms don't hurt so you're getting me off…after I get you off and I'm sleeping here tonight. And we're ordering Chinese for when we get hungry."

Derek buried his head in Stiles' neck and smiled. "Okay."

Stiles threw his hands up in the air. "Yes. Come on."

"Now?"

"You've made me wait for weeks…now."

"You practised?"

"I knew you wouldn't have sex with me if I didn't promise that I wouldn't get hurt."

Derek pulled back and quirked an eyebrow at Stiles. "You played me."

Stiles shrugged. "You put my comfort above yours so you wouldn't agree to have sex with me until I'm completely healed with doctor's approval. And at this point we both have purple balls. I want to at least be able to sleep with you. You have to start with your top offer and then you can negotiate down."

"You've been watching those pawn shop shows again, haven't you?"

"Dad loves them and I've been pretty house bound lately."

"We are not watching them when we go back to Berkeley."

Stiles grinned at Derek. "Not even sometimes."

"Not even ever."

"You're no fun. Oh hey, now that we're dating can I keep living with you?"

Derek growled and pulled Stiles into his body, making sure not to put too much pressure on Stiles' abdomen. "I'm not…yes."

"You're not what?"

"Nothing," Derek said, pulling Stiles into his body for another kiss.

"You're kissing me to make me forget."

Derek smiled and kissed him again.

"So, what are your plans for the day?" Stiles asked, running his hands through Derek's hair.

"Danny and Jackson are coming over soon. We were going to clear out those trees that were knocked out in the storm last month. Add them to the woodpile for winter."

"And other than that?"

"Nothing."

Stiles smiled. "Now you have plans. I'll make the three of you lunch."

"You don't need to do that. It will take us an hour; at most, they don't need to eat."

"It's lunchtime."

Derek made a face at him. "You're going to feed them anyway, aren't you?"

Stiles nodded. "And I'm feeling a heap better now so I can go back to keeping everyone from dying of food poisoning."

"You do understand that werewolves can't get food poisoning, right?"

"I can."

Derek smiled. "I wouldn't let you eat bad food."

"How would you know?"

Derek tapped Stiles' nose. "I can smell bad meat."

"Oh."

"That's why I only buy meat from certain butchers. I can smell the good stuff."

Stiles made a face. "That's really something I should have known already. Just never thought about it I suppose."

"So, you don't need to worry about us so much."

Stiles rolled his eyes and kissed Derek. "I'm not going to stop."

"Why?"

Stiles tugged on Derek's hand and pulled him into the lounge room. "I've been thinking about this a lot since we got together."

"Thinking about what?"

"You're the alpha."

"I know."

Stiles smiled. "And I'm what?"

"You're Stiles," Derek said, fidgeting.

"I knew it," Stiles said, poking Derek in the side and making the werewolf twist away and bite down on a laugh. "What am I?"

"You're Stiles, a member of the pack."

"I'm more than just a member of the pack."

"That's not fair to the rest of the pack," Derek said quickly.

"Nah, see, now that I'm not blinded by thinking that you're not interested in me I've looked at our pack in a more objective way."

"And what-" Derek twisted and looked out of the window.

"They're here?"

"Yeah."

"We will continue this conversation later," Stiles told him.

"Of course we will," Derek said standing up. He kissed Stiles and slipped out of the room and house.

Stiles went out to the jeep and collected his bag, putting it on the chair in Derek's room before he started making sandwiches for the four of them. He made a second plate to put in the fridge in case he could convince Derek that he was actually healed enough for sex. He appreciated the fact that Derek cared for him so much but a man could hope. He was happy that Derek loved him but he'd been waiting for Derek, pining after Derek, fantasising about Derek, loving Derek, and wanting Derek's body for years and now he could have him. He could touch him if he wanted to, Derek would welcome it – did welcome it, and Stiles couldn't do much about it because of some hunter that had tried to take his pack away from him. Stiles knew his body was still healing – his wound was still tender to the touch even if it was completely closed over. He'd done his research though and he would be tender for a while – he'd asked his doctor and so long as they were careful he'd be fine. He also knew that he was anxious to get it over with – he was a virgin which he hadn't minded up until the moment he knew he could have sex with Derek.

He unravelled each lettuce leaf and thought even more about why he was so eager – he didn't think there was anything wrong with being his age and being a virgin. He knew he was the last of his friends and he knew that Derek was the reason he'd never pursued any other options and now that he had the chance to sleep with the person that he'd thought about sleeping with for years he didn't want to wait anymore. He didn't want to wait even if his wounds would hurt. He wished he could go back in time, shake himself and Derek, so that he could have all of the experiences he'd missed out on before and yet he was still missing out on them.

Stiles viciously cut the sandwiches and tried to remind himself that he could be patient with this; he'd waited this long and he could wait a little longer. He knew he shouldn't pressure Derek either – the other man only had bad experiences with relationships from what Stiles had seen and Stiles wanted to be a good experience – he wanted to be the best and the last experience that Derek ever had with a romantic relationship. He just needed to keep reminding himself that waiting a couple of weeks wouldn't really matter. It grated – he had never been very good with self-control or with patience and he just _wanted_.

He looked out of the window and saw the werewolves, all shirtless of course, carrying the wood to the wood shed. He allowed himself a few minutes to enjoy the way Derek looked shirtless before he filled a jug with water. Stiles took everything outside and put it on the table. Before he had had a chance to turn around and tell them there was food Jackson and Danny were standing at the table and looking at him.

"Go and wash your hands before you eat," Stiles told the two betas with a shake of his head.

They both nodded and walked into the house to wash their hands.

Derek walked over and stopped next to him.

"You have to wash your hands too."

Derek smiled and leaned forward to kiss Stiles. Stiles smiled at him when he pulled away and nodded towards the house. Derek kissed him again and walked into the house to wash his hands. Jackson and Danny were staring at him when they came back out.

"What?" Stiles asked.

Danny grinned. "You're very cute."

Stiles frowned at him.

"It's so odd to see you kissing," Jackson said.

"Get used it to," Derek said, walking straight past Jackson and kissing Stiles again. "It's going to be happening a lot."

Stiles smiled and ducked his head, very pleased.

"Good," Danny said, looking at Derek intensely. "Because you do understand that you have to treat Stiles right, right?"

Derek nodded.

"What about me?" Stiles asked. "Who is going to warn me not to break Derek's heart?"

Jackson turned and looked at him. "Don't break Derek's heart."

"Thank you." Stiles said with a bright smiled.

"Eat and leave," Derek told them.

"Mean," Jackson said, grabbing onto two sandwiches in each hand. "I'll take them home with me if you're going to be a bad host."

"Take the whole tray if you like," Stiles offered.

"You both want us out of here," Danny said.

"And Stiles' sling is off." Jackson pointed out.

"He's not using the cane." Danny said, inclining his head at Stiles.

Jackson started laughing. "Derek is finally getting some."

"Derek _and Stiles_ ," Danny corrected, "are getting some…finally!"

"It's none of your business." Stiles told them both. "And now you can't take the tray."

Jackson pouted.

"Fine," Stiles said, taking two sandwiches from the plate. "Take the tray and do not call Lydia."

"I have to call Lydia," Jackson said.

"No, you don't," Stiles said.

"Stiles," Danny said, "you might be the next best thing to an alpha but Lydia would make our lives hell if she found out we kept this from her."

Stiles laughed. "Okay, fine."

"I'm the alpha," Derek said.

Stiles made a face. "Just let them tell Lydia. She'll know anyway."

Derek cocked an eyebrow at them. "You think they are more scared of Lydia than me?"

"In this?" Stiles shrugged. "You're their alpha and they will follow your instructions. Then Lydia will make them pay. She's going to know anyway – just by looking at me, so why not let them tell her and then when I do see her she'll be prepared to ask me a heap of questions and she'll have been tempered by Allison."

Derek took a deep breath and glared at his betas. "Not until tomorrow."

"Deal," Jackson said, grabbing the tray of sandwiches and his shirt. "Come on, Danny."

Danny grabbed his shirt and followed Jackson around the side of the house.

"I made more sandwiches," Stiles told Derek.

Derek smiled.

"And we can watch something."

"I thought you were going to drag me upstairs."

"Then I remembered that even though I've been waiting years…we've been waiting years, we've got a lot more time and I shouldn't be pressuring you when you're just trying to take care of me."

Derek tugged him towards the house. "You're not pressuring me. It's very hard to convince myself to resist you."

"Then we'll go and watch a movie or play a card game or something and see where things go."

"Superhero marathon?" Derek asked.

"I'll make some popcorn."

"I'm just going to go and get changed," Derek said.

"I don't mind the sweaty, shirtless thing."

Derek laughed and kissed Stiles, walking the younger man back towards the house. Stiles rubbed his hands down Derek's back. The werewolf's skin was cool to the touch and Stiles held on tightly as Derek explored his mouth. Stiles buried his fingers in Derek's hair and tried to take over the kiss, licking into Derek's mouth. He pressed his other hand low on Derek's back. He ran his fingers lower, slipping them beneath the fabric of Derek's jeans.

Derek pulled back, breathing heavily against Stiles' lips. Stiles dropped his head down and kissed along Derek's collarbone.

"We should go inside and I'm going to have a shower."

"Want some company?" Stiles asked, squeezing Derek.

Derek pressed into Stiles again and kissed him sloppily.

"No," Derek whispered against Stiles' lips. "I'm having one alone."

"Shame."

Derek kissed Stiles again and walked away to have his shower. Stiles stayed right where he was for a few minutes to catch his breath before he went inside and made popcorn. He'd set up the first Captain America movie and got them both drinks by the time Derek walked into the kitchen.

"You mentioned sandwiches?"

Stiles smiled. "They're in the fridge."

"I saw your bag in my room."

Stiles froze. "Yeah…is that okay?"

Derek nodded and kissed Stiles as he walked past to get a plate of sandwiches. "What are we watching?"

"Captain America."

Derek led them into the lounge room and pressed himself into Stiles' side.

"This is much better than opposite sides of the couch," Stiles said, snuggling into the other man.

"I-" Derek started.

"I understand, I didn't mean it that way. I'm just happy to be close to you."

Derek threw his arm over Stiles' shoulders. "Me too."

They finished the bowl of popcorn as Steve was being hit with gamma radiation and then Stiles twisted around so that he was leaning against the arm of the couch and had his knees over Derek's lap.

"What's this?" Derek asked.

"Comfortable."

"I'm not comfortable?"

Stiles sat up and kissed Derek. "I could use you as a pillow instead."

Derek quirked an eyebrow at him so Stiles twisted around and poked Derek until the alpha was resting back against the opposite arm rest. Then Stiles fit himself into Derek's side.

"You're awfully demanding."

"You wanted me to snuggle with you."

"I never said snuggle."

"I can read your mind."

"God, I hope not."

Stiles laughed and returned his attention to the screen just as the guy who played Thorin died.

As Captain America was leading the charge in to save Bucky Derek leaned down and kissed Stiles, ignoring what was happening on the screen.

"This is the best bit." Stiles said between kisses. "It's when the lovers are reunited."

Derek shook his head and kissed Stiles again.

"But, you're going to kiss me now?"

Derek nodded and dropped his head to kiss the skin next to Stiles' ear. "Just want to kiss you."

Stiles smiled. "I'm completely behind that."

Derek smiled and pulled back to kiss each one of the moles on Stiles' face and neck. Stiles ran his fingers though the werewolf's hair and tugged him back to his lips to kiss Derek properly as often as he could.

"You know," Stiles said, leaning forward so that he could reach more of Derek and flinched.

Derek pulled away. "It hurts?"

"No, this is just a bad position. Lie down."

"We-"

"I'm fine, but leaning over you like this is awkward."

Derek smiled and leaned back, wriggling down and settling his head against the arm of the couch. "Get comfortable then."

Stiles beamed at him and moved until he was leaning on his good shoulder and was tucked between Derek and the back of the couch. "I'm good, start kissing."

Derek shook his head at Stiles and wrapped a hand over Stiles' wrist. "Yes, Sir"

Stiles smiled and leaned forward to kiss Derek. "So long as you understand your place."

Derek laughed into the kiss until Stiles joined him and they knocked their noses together. Stiles had to pull away and bury his head in Derek's neck as the giggling took over.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked.

Stiles nodded and forced himself to calm down, kissing along the tendon on Derek's neck. "Sorry."

"I love you, Stiles."

Stiles pulled back and looked down at Derek. "I love you too."

"Good," Derek said, wrapping his hand around the back of Stiles' neck and pulling him down into a kiss.

They laid there kissing for several minutes and Stiles could feel that urgency that was always simmering below the surface getting hard to ignore. Derek was arching up into him though, as turned on as he was.

Stiles was lying off centre on Derek and just as he was about to wriggle over to finally get some pressure on his cock Derek pulled away and looked down at him.

"You're not, are you not interested?"

Stiles arched up against him twisting his hips, his hard erection pressing to the flesh of Derek's hand.

"You smell like you always smell," Derek said nuzzling his nose into space between his neck and shoulder.

Stiles moaned and flushed hotly. Derek could feel the heat pouring off his skin.

"What?"

"This is how I always smell?"

"Mmmm, like soap, fruit and sweat." Derek said reaching down to palm Stiles' cock. He pulled Stiles soft pants down so that he could get closer. Stiles groaned at Derek's attention which had completely focussed on him.

"So, I always smell like I do when I have your hand down my pants?"

Derek pulled away though his hand didn't pull out of Stiles' pants. Derek smirked at him.

Stiles slapped his shoulder. "Don't be smug."

"So long as it's always been because of me."

"Oh trust me it has," Stiles said arching up into Derek.

Derek smiled and pulled back. "We should go upstairs."

"Yes!" Stiles said, immediately rolling up and climbing off the couch. He ignored the protest of his muscles as he moved much more focussed on the erection half hanging out of his pants.

He walked out of the lounge room and headed for the stairs and Derek's room. He could hear the werewolf following him and couldn't resist stopping halfway up to turn and catch Derek in a kiss. The werewolf took Stiles' weight as he kept kissing him and continued up the stairs. They pulled apart at the landing and Stiles grabbed onto Derek's hand to go into the bedroom but froze in the doorway. He looked at the chair where he'd put his bag but it wasn't there anymore.

"Stiles?" Derek asked confused, pressing himself to Stiles' back.

"Where's my bag?"

"In the cupboard, I put all your stuff in the drawer."

Stiles turned around and threw himself at Derek, ignoring the stretch of his abdominal muscles, to attack Derek's mouth and start them both walking towards the bed.

"That was good?" Derek asked when Stiles moved his lips down to Derek's neck while the human sucked air in through his nose.

"You gave me a drawer," Stiles said, dropping down. Before he got to his knees Derek caught him and pulled him back up. "What are you doing?"

"We're not rushing."

Stiles smiled and grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt. He was about to lift it up and over his head when Derek took his own shirt off. Stiles froze, half enjoying the view and half worried what Derek would think when he saw the human.

Derek reached out for him as soon as he'd dropped his shirt to the floor. Stiles watched Derek's face as the werewolf lifted his shirt up and over his head.

"Why are you watching me like that?" Derek asked.

"Curious," Stiles said. "After all, I'm not nearly as buff as you."

"So?"

Stiles shrugged. "Sometimes all of the werewolf nakedness that happens around here is a bit intimidating."

"I'd prefer to see you shirtless than any of the other members of the pack."

Stiles smiled and started walking back towards the bed. "Yeah?"

Derek nodded and toed off his shoes while Stiles sat down and did the same. When he was done he crawled back into the bed and beckoned Derek to follow him. Derek settled on his elbow over Stiles and kissed him again, moving on from his lips quickly and down the line of tendon on his neck, along the ridge of muscle on his shoulder and back in on his collar bone. Stiles arched into the touch and reached out to hold onto Derek as the werewolf licked his Adam's apple before moving down to swirl his tongue around the hollow between his clavicle.

"Is this a werewolf thing?" Stiles asked, watching Derek nose his way down the faint line between Stiles' muscles on his way down to the human's belly button.

"Is what a werewolf thing?" Derek asked, licking at the skin above Stiles' scar which was still pink and somewhat swollen. Derek paused and looked down at the scar. Stiles reached out for him when the werewolf had been frozen in place for too long.

"Derek?"

Derek looked up at him with eyes that were icy blue. The werewolf moved back up the bed, holding his weight on his hands while he pressed down to kiss Stiles hungrily. Stiles arched up into him, curling his arms over Derek's back and pressing his body up into the werewolf's. Stiles pulled away when his chest started to burn from lack of oxygen.

Derek looked down at Stiles breathing heavily and pressed a kiss to Stiles' cheekbone.

"Is what a werewolf thing?"

"The scenting me while you nuzzle thing."

Derek froze and looked down at Stiles.

Stiles shook his head and grabbed onto Derek while he rolled until the werewolf was under him. Stiles propped himself up on his elbow and smiled down at Derek.

"It's a good thing," Stiles said, smirking before he leaned down to follow the path Derek had taken – along his neck, around the curve of his pectorals, down his body to Derek's belly button where he kissed the little dip under it just before he hit the trail of hair down to Derek's cock.

Stiles smiled when Derek's cock bobbed against his neck. "I can tell you think it's a good thing too." Stiles pulled back and kissed Derek's head. "Or at least, your cock agrees."

"I agree," Derek said, a little breathless.

Stiles smiled and swallowed Derek's head licking at his opening and sucking while Derek's hips jerked under him. Derek gripped the sheets and Stiles could feel how tightly he held himself to stop his hips from jerking up into Stiles' mouth. Stiles pulled off with a final lick and looked down at Derek.

"You don't need to do that." Derek was breathing heavily and Stiles couldn't resist smiling down at him. "I'm not delicate and I don't mind if you move."

Derek flushed under Stiles and he reached out for him. Stiles shook his head and dropped back down to swallow as much of Derek's erection as he could. Curling his hand around the base where his lips didn't reach.

"Stiles…you…"

Stiles smiled around the flesh in his mouth and set himself to sucking, licking, and jacking Derek's cock until the werewolf arched up. Stiles was about to pull back when Derek froze and started coming down Stiles' throat.

"Fuck," Derek groaned out and collapsed back down into the mattress as though he had deflated.

Stiles crawled back up Derek's body wiping his mouth. Derek pulled him into his body and Stiles twisted until he was lying on his side. Stiles rest his head on Derek's shoulder and basked in the werewolf's afterglow.

Derek started trailing his fingers along the line of Stiles' ribs before his chest had stopped heaving. Stiles arched away from Derek's fingers and into his body.

"Are you ticklish?"

Stiles shook his head. "Sensitive."

Derek laughed and twisted down and around to kiss Stiles who melted into it.

"You don't need to rush," Stiles told him.

"Yeah, I do." Derek palmed Stiles' cock.

"I'm not…that's really good."

"And it's my turn," Derek said, pulling out from under Stiles and pushing the human onto his back. Derek kissed his way down Stiles' body, pausing to kiss along the healing flesh on his abdomen before moving down and nosing at the skin where thigh met hip.

"You're going to tease me?"

Derek nodded and nipped at a mole on the inside of Stiles' thigh before quickly darting up and lapping at the human's balls before dropping back down to nuzzle his way down to Stiles' knees.

"If you have a toe-sucking fetish I'm down with trying it," Stiles said, propping himself up on his elbows. "Hell, I'm down with trying _everything_ but for today your focus should be here." Stiles took a hold on his own cock and started stroking himself. Derek growled and grabbed his wrist to stop the movement.

"Mine," Derek grumbled and he wrapped his hand around Stiles' hand and moved them both together.

"Yeah," Stiles panted out, "yours."

Derek grinned down at Stiles and bent over to lick at the human's cock. He savoured the pre-cum on his tongue and winked at Stiles.

"Oh God, you're teasing me."

Derek nodded and pulled both his and Stiles' hands away.

Stiles pouted at him.

Derek laughed and leaned up to kiss him but before their lips touched Stiles hooked his leg around the werewolf's thigh and brought their cocks into contact. He started rubbing himself along Derek as he pulled the other man down into a kiss.

Derek growled and arched his hips down into Stiles, pressing the slighter man into the bed as he cock hardened against Stiles'.

Stiles whistled. "Score one for the horny human and the refractory period of a werewolf."

"Stiles," Derek said, stopping his hips.

"Derek," Stiles whined.

"Don't use big words."

"You like my vocabulary," Stiles told Derek, wriggling under him.

"I'm doing something wrong if you can use big words."

Stiles bit his lip and smiled. "Big words for a big cock," Stiles said, rolling his hips.

Derek groaned and dropped his head down onto Stiles' shoulder. "Bad jokes."

Stiles ignored the pain in his abdomen and kept rolling his hips against Derek's. "Bad jokes, good sex."

"I will stop," Derek threatened, rocking his hips down into Stiles uncontrollably.

Stiles laughed. "No, you won't. I could pun all day and you'd still fuck me."

Derek groaned, defeated, and started rolling his hips more deliberately, reaching down between them to wrap his hand around both of them cocks.

Stiles moaned out Derek's name, chanting it without control until Derek moved his hand with a twist around Stiles' cock's head and he came – spurting over Derek's hand with a silent, open-mouthed scream. Derek's hand kept moving, rubbing Stiles' come into his own cock until he came as well and Stiles felt the wet heat of the other man's come on his abdomen.

Stiles slumped back into the bed and braced for Derek's weight but the werewolf wriggled down the bed and lapped at Stiles' abdomen – tasting them both. After a few licks Derek reached down and grabbed something from the floor to wipe Stiles' abdomen.

Stiles looked down. "Was that my shirt?"

Derek looked and shook his head. "Mine."

"Good."

Derek laughed and rested his head low on Stiles' chest. Stiles threaded his fingers through Derek's hair and closed his eyes; every muscle heavy. He could feel Derek's breath on his skin and couldn't resist smiling.

"You said something about Chinese," Derek said a few minutes later, tracing patterns on Stiles' stomach.

Stiles nodded. "Yeah…" running his fingers tiredly through Derek's hair.

"Are you sleepy?"

"Mmmm."

"Go to sleep."

"Stay," Stiles said, pressing his hand into Derek's skull.

"I'm not going anywhere," Derek told him, kissing the skin above Stiles' healing scar.

"Mmmkay," Stiles said, relaxing into the bed.

Derek kept tracing patterns on Stiles' stomach until the other man's breathing deepened and he could be sure that Stiles was asleep. He slipped out of the bed as carefully as he could and made sure that he didn't wake Stiles. He crept from the room and went downstairs; making sure the house was secure before he went back up and found Stiles lying in the middle of the bed with his arms thrown out until he was taking up as much of the bed as possible. Derek sighed and crawled into the bed, fitting himself around Stiles until he could rest his head on Stiles' chest again. He closed his eyes and let the sound and feeling of Stiles' breathing soothe him into sleep.

When Stiles woke up the sky outside was turning dark and he could feel the heat of Derek's breath puffing over his belly button. He couldn't keep the smile off his face as he looked down at Derek's relaxed face. Stiles needed to pee. He was hungry and his stomach was grumbling under Derek's ear but he didn't want to wake the werewolf up. He didn't remember the last time he saw Derek this relaxed and he wanted to see it more. Stiles couldn't resist lifting his hand and running his fingers through Derek's hair – it was deceptively soft.

Derek stirred and twisted around, rubbing his nose against Stiles' skin. Stiles smiled and continued petting the werewolf.

"You're awake," Derek said, turning his head and kissing Stiles.

"I'm awake."

"And hungry," Derek commented when Stiles' stomach growled until his ear.

"That too, and I know this is not sexy or anything but I also really need to pee."

Derek laughed and rolled off Stiles, watching as the human scurried from the bed, getting caught in the sheets, and finally made it into the bathroom.

"Food!" Stiles yelled out.

"You said something about Chinese."

"You know what I like."

Derek flipped over and hunted down his phone. He called Dragon Express and ordered, getting two Szechuan beefs, and then flopped back into the bed to wait for Stiles who bounded back into the room completely ignoring the fact he was naked to hurry into the bed next to Derek. He dropped his head into Derek's shoulder and laid half on top of the other man.

"Comfortable?"

Stiles wriggled. "Yep."

"We're going to have to get dressed when the Chinese comes."

"Only one of us. Rock, paper, scissors?"

"I'll go," Derek said, wriggling down so that he could kiss Stiles.

What felt like moments later, the doorbell downstairs rang. Derek pulled himself away from Stiles with a groan and pulled a pair of pants on. He kissed Stiles again and went downstairs quickly to pay for the food. When he turned around Stiles was walking down the stairs.

Derek looked at the pants Stiles was wearing and lifted an eyebrow in question.

"We're eating."

"So?"

Stiles laughed. "So, what? Am I just going to spend the next four weeks before we go back to Berkeley naked?"

Derek shrugged. "It's feasible."

"Will you be naked too?" Stiles asked, sidling up to Derek and wrapping his arms around the werewolf's middle.

"Yes," Derek said, kissing Stiles. He pulled away when Stiles' stomach growled again. "If you're dressed now we might as well watch a movie while we eat."

"Will we finish it this time?"

Derek shrugged.

"I'll get us some plates and stuff. You pick a movie."

They made it half-way through The Avengers and stopped just long enough to put the leftovers in the fridge before they went back upstairs and got naked again.

/\/\/\

Stiles woke up to the sounds of someone knocking on the door downstairs. Loudly.

He felt Derek rousing next to him. The werewolf tightened his arms around Stiles while he nuzzled into the human's shoulder. Stiles didn't even think about the doorbell as he gingerly twisted around and buried his head against Derek's neck.

"Are you sore?" Derek asked, voice even rougher than it normally was in the morning.

"Did I forget us having sex?"

Derek laughed and ran his hand down over Stiles' abdomen and the healing scar there.

"It's always sore in the morning but no sorer than normal."

Derek kissed Stiles pressing the human down into the mattress.

There was another knock on the door downstairs.

Stiles pulled his mouth away from Derek. "Who's down there?"

"I don't care; they'll go away."

Stiles welcomed the next kiss, gladly slipping down into the bed with Derek as the werewolf's hand slipped further down his body along the regrowing hair below his belly button and down to his cock.

"Derek!" Lydia and Danny called out.

Stiles sat up which pressed his cock more firmly into Derek's hand. "Oh God."

Derek grinned down at him wickedly.

"The pack is downstairs."

"So? They'll leave." Derek told him ducked down to lap at the tip of Stiles' head.

"Derek…pl…oh fuck it," he said dropping back into the mattress and watching as Derek grinned around the human's cock.

Stiles assumed later that the rest of the pack left at some point.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> This was all supposed to be one story but 3.5 of the 6 parts are written and it's already 9000+ words. I should be writing reports *THUD*


End file.
